Present
In my adult life, only two people have ever lifted me off my feet. A linebacker from Texas A&M scooped me up and out of the way when students rushed the field after we won a college bowl, and head coach Bill Tatum swung me when we made the playoffs. Both were painful, but exhilarating moments in my life.
I felt the tears on my cheeks before I realized I was crying. My career was riding on this season. We made it. I sat on the players’ bench, found a towel, and cried. No, I sobbed. I knew cameras were on me, and I didn’t care.
Massive palms slid into my view. “Let’s go, Coach. We aren’t done yet.” I looked up into Grayson’s smiling face and put my hands in his. He pulled me to my feet and hugged me. He was sweaty, dirty, and happy. I assumed that he would want the season to end, but he played like a wild animal out there fighting for yardage. Reporters were clamoring for an interview from him, but he checked on my well-being before talking to anyone.
“I’m good, Grayson, thank you. Go do some interviews.”
He shook his head. “Not without you.” He pointed to the towel. “Dry your tears. We’re going to be interviewed. Together.” He waited until I was presentable and pulled me over to an NBC reporter who was waiting for the exclusive.
“Grayson, how does it feel to take an expansion team to the playoffs?” Nikki James had been with NBC for over ten years. She was one of the first women on the field reporting from the sidelines.
“It’s the best feeling. Who knew I could do this?” He pointed at me. “She knew. Coach McCoy never let me give up. She was there at my lowest point and helped me see how important leading this team was. I did a complete one-eighty about two months ago thanks to her.”
“Coach McCoy, big praise coming from your biggest player. What do you say to that?”
“Grayson is a natural leader. Without him, we wouldn’t be here right now headed for the playoffs.”
“It looks like you’ll be playing the Rams. How do you feel about it?” she asked.
“I’ve had my eye on them since the beginning of the season.” It was before then, but I didn’t want to come across as a football geek even though I was.
“What’s next for you, Coach?”
“More late nights, a fast new year, and hopefully, another win.”
“Do you think you can beat the Rams? They’re in the number one spot in your division.”
I shrugged and nodded. “They’re tough and have a great offense. We’re hoping to give them a run for their money.”
Nikki picked up the cue that we were done. “Good luck, Coach, and congratulations.”
I shook her hand and followed Grayson to the middle of the field where I shook hands with the losing team’s coaches. I understood their crestfallen looks and the numbness that came from losing a game you had to win. We ended the season with 11 wins and 6 losses and still had to fight for a wildcard spot in the playoffs.
Bill and I walked down the hallway to the locker room. “I’m so proud of this team,” Bill said.
We walked into the locker room and everyone was waiting to spray us with champagne. I was drenched by the time I got out of there. Bill, Marcus, and I had a press conference in twenty minutes. It was enough time to take a quick shower and get the alcohol off me. I grabbed a change of clothes and raced to the women’s locker room. Two trainers were there changing into their street clothes.
“Congratulations, Coach!” they both said.
“Thanks!” I grabbed a fresh towel and got cleaned up in record time. I almost slipped and fell when I jumped out and saw Parker leaning against the counter. I clutched the towel closer. “What are you doing here?” I forgot to lock the door in my haste, but noticed it was locked now. “There are people down here.”
“You mean Emily and Tess?” Parker thumbed behind her. “They were leaving when I walked in. You should be more careful about locking the door down here. Anybody could wander in. You’re not being very safe.”
Parker and I had agreed to cool it until the season was over. It was hard, but fair since I advised Grayson and Matt to do the same. I kept telling myself that I’d waited over fifteen years for her. I could wait another few more weeks. We talked on the phone daily, FaceTimed late at night, and texted every chance we got.
“Is everything okay? Where are the kids?”
“With my parents.” She walked slowly toward me and stopped when I took a step back. “I came here to congratulate you and to let you know we filed the paperwork this morning.”
I groaned. “Why didn’t you wait until we were done with the season?”
She looked me up and down appreciatively and did nothing to hide it. Her eyes lingered along the hem of the towel. She took a step closer. This time I stood where I was. I was seconds from pulling her into my arms and skipping the press conference altogether, but I still had to do my job. She looked amazing, though, in a tight black sweater, gray slacks, and black boots. Her hair was pulled up in a bun with sexy tendrils framing her face. She was so sexy.
“We both agreed it was time. The kids are adjusting to the news that we won’t be in the same house, but they understand that Grayson will be around all the time and available whenever they need him.”
I was surprised they didn’t wait. Somebody at the courthouse would see the paperwork and talk to the press. It was inevitable. As much as I wanted to be in this moment, I had to get upstairs. “Listen, I have about ten minutes to get ready. I can’t talk to you right now.”
“I’ve learned the best way to get your attention is to be in your space. I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not,” she said.
I blew out a deep breath. “I’m going to change now. This towel is dropping to the floor in three, two…”
She held up her hand. “I’m only leaving because the next time I see you naked will be because you want me to.”
It was unnerving how quickly she got to me. I flipped the lock and dropped the towel. I got ready as quickly as possible. I sneaked in right as Bill was introducing us and sat as if I timed it perfectly.
“I have to give a lot of the credit to both coordinators, Coach Marcus Atkins and Coach Sutton McCoy,” Bill said.
It took everything I had to stay in the moment. Bill teased me at my lack of focus and we all laughed. Nobody cared. We were going to the playoffs, and everyone wanted to celebrate. The reporters were happy for us, and after twenty minutes of never-ending questions, Bill called it. We had a busy day tomorrow. Film was at ten and Bill told us he didn’t want to see anybody there earlier than that.
I whistled for Crowbar and zipped home. My energy level was high. I changed into sweats and a T-shirt, heated spaghetti, poured a glass of wine, and curled up on the couch with Crowbar. My phone dinged and I ignored it. I finished my glass of wine and moved to water. When my doorbell rang, I thought for sure my neighbors Tom and Lottie Griffith with their deep tans were there to let me know they were back from Florida.
Parker stood in my doorway. “I tried calling, but you didn’t answer your phone. Oh, my God. I sound just like my parents.”
I didn’t know what to do. I clutched the doorknob and looked down at the welcome mat. I was tired of fighting. Her, myself, the past, the future. I knew exactly what I wanted. “Come in.”
“I parked around back and nobody followed me,” she said.
I nodded and walked to the kitchen, switched back to wine, and held up the bottle. She smiled. I grabbed another glass and poured a healthy amount into both glasses. “It’s fine. The news is out or will be tomorrow.”
“Sutton, it’s going to be okay. It’s very amicable. We know we need to be there for our children. He’s happy. I’m happy. And the weight of all of this has been lifted. From his shoulders, from mine. It’s time for me.”
Her fingers were devoid of any jewelry and that scared me. I walked to the other side of the counter to put three feet between us. Even though the papers had been filed, was I okay being the rebound girl? Is that what I was?
“Can I get you some spaghetti?” I asked.
She waved me off and put one of her hands on her stomach. She was nervous. “Let’s go into the living room.” I made Crowbar leave the couch and pulled off his blanket so Parker didn’t get any hair on her clothes. She patted his head before sitting on the spot he just vacated. “So, what’s going on?” Was my voice normal? My chest felt like it was vibrating.
“This is a nice place.” Her tongue touched the side of the glass before she took a sip.
“It’s just to get me through the season. Honestly, I wasn’t sure how the season was going to turn out. I’ll look for something more permanent this spring.”
“It’s very minimalistic. I appreciate that so much. My kids have their toys, games, clothes, and shoes everywhere. This is immaculate.”
“One of the benefits about not having kids. My place is always ready for company,” I said. We sat quietly drinking our wine. She had something to say and I was going to wait it out.
She drained her glass and looked at me. “I think you know why I’m here, Sutton.” The rawness in her voice made my insides turn to mush.
I wanted to fight and tell her no and that I wasn’t ready, but it would be a lie. I’d been ready since the day she left me. “How do you know you’re making the right choice?” The last thing I wanted was to move too fast and lose her all over again.
She stood right in front of me. “I’ve always known. We both have.”
I felt her hand on my knee. She wanted me and I wanted her. We had waited half our lives to be together again. I opened my eyes and tried to blink back the tears that had gathered.
She touched my cheek. “I’m so sorry, Sutton. I know I screwed up. I never meant to hurt you and I know I did.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward me. She straddled my lap and cradled my face in her hands. “I’m sorry,” she whispered before kissing my cheek. “I’m sorry.” She kissed the corner of my mouth. “I’m sorry.” She claimed my lips.
I grabbed her hips and pulled her to me. I couldn’t get close enough to her. She was so familiar but so exciting. This wasn’t the shy teenager who was nervous to touch. This was a woman who knew exactly what she wanted.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered before pressing her hips down and kissing my lips hard.
I tasted merlot and warmth. My hips rolled into hers and my hands slipped under her sweater. Still so warm and inviting.
Her hands left my shoulders to pull the sweater over her head. She dropped it behind her. “I’m sorry.”
I cupped her face and brought it closer to mine. “You don’t need to apologize. The past is forgotten.” I kissed her, sucking in her bottom lip and scraping it between my teeth. She made a slight gasping sound and plunged her tongue into my mouth. She gave me everything she could in that kiss. I ran my hands up her neck and wrapped them in her hair. I was overwhelmed and I needed for us to be naked and in my bed, not on the couch. I stood with her in my arms. She automatically wrapped her legs around my waist. I told Crowbar to stay and carried her to my bedroom, kicking the door shut in my wake. “Are you sure about this?”
She touched my swollen lips. “I’ve never wanted anything more than this moment.”
I lowered her onto the mattress and ripped off my T-shirt and kicked off my sweats.
She held her hands up. “Wait.”
I froze not knowing what to do. Did I push too far too fast? “What?”
“I want to look at you. You’re even more beautiful than you were when we were younger.”
I melted but stood still. I wasn’t as lean as I was in high school, but I was stronger. I slid out of my boxers and took off my bra. I watched Parker unbutton her pants and I helped slide them off. Her blue lace bra and panty set made my mouth water. Seeing her like this confirmed what I’d assumed: she was still petite, but her curves were more pronounced and her breasts fuller. She took my breath away.
“You’re still so beautiful, too.”
She bit her bottom lip and looked at me. It was hard to talk since this was such an emotionally charged moment, so I lowered myself between her legs and kissed her. I pulled her knees up and over my shoulders and pressed my pussy against hers. The thin strip of lace between us barely registered. We moaned at the same time. I wasn’t sure if my heart could take tonight, but I wasn’t going to give up now. I’d wanted this for too long. Her moans grew louder, stronger with every roll of my hips. I watched as her blue eyes darkened and her mouth parted slightly. I pulled one side of her bra down to capture a rock-hard nipple in my mouth. I sucked hard and soothed it with my tongue. Parker writhed beneath me. Her nails raked my back.
“Let me take it off,” she said.
I leaned up to help unlatch the hook and within seconds, the bra was on the floor. I stood and ripped her panties off. I grabbed the remote to the fireplace in my room and turned it on. It gave the room the perfect amount of light and romance and gave Parker’s naked body an ethereal glow. As frenzied as I was thirty seconds ago, a calm hit when I realized she wasn’t a dream and was here with me.
“Are you cold?” I asked.
“Do I feel cold? I’m burning up, Sutton,” she said.
I traced my fingertips over the chill bumps on her stomach until she shivered. I kissed her again and moved so that I rested between her legs. I forced myself to go slow and treasure each touch, but the more I caressed, the hungrier I became. “You’ve always been so warm.” I started a trail of kisses from her neck, down to her collarbone, and across her breasts. I sucked her nipple into my mouth.
“More,” she whispered.
I alternated between the two, sucking and squeezing. Parker’s moans became louder, and she grabbed my shoulders. I felt her slight push and moved down her body until my head was between her thighs. Her body quivered as I ran my hand up and down her thigh.
“Sutton, please.” Her look was unguarded and full of love. My heart swelled and I vowed to do everything to please her.
I kissed her thigh and ran my tongue over to her mound. I spread her apart and licked soft skin. I held down her legs and continued licking and sucking until I knew she was ready to come. I slowed and slipped two fingers inside. She arched her back and I moaned. Her hips greeted my thrusts, but I knew it wasn’t enough. I moved up her body so I could look her in the eye as I entered her again. She touched my face. I moved faster and faster until she had no choice but to hold my shoulders and crash into her orgasm with a shout. Her whole body shook. I wasn’t done. I flipped us so I was underneath. I slipped my hand between our bodies and massaged her pussy while my tongue delved inside her wet, welcoming mouth. She moved so that she was on her knees and her palms were on either side of my head.
“I love you,” she said, staring into my eyes.
A giant rush of feelings exploded inside me and the only thing I could do was kiss her so that she couldn’t see the emotion on my face. I was afraid of those words. Instead, I put all my energy into pleasing her. I slipped inside her first with two fingers, then three.
“Oh, my God.” Parker breathed against my cheek.
She took several deep breaths and I waited until I felt her walls relax before I moved my hand. I didn’t want to hurt her. When I started thrusting, she threw her head back and rocked against me. Nothing mattered except this moment. I felt my past and my present colliding.
I touched her face with my free hand so she would look at me. “Is this okay?” I asked.
She turned her head to kiss my palm. “Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop.” Her voice was hoarse and her eyes hooded. She was in the hazy space between orgasms. It was beautiful to watch her find and embrace pleasure.
I plunged into her fast and hard. She slid her hands forward until her head rested on my shoulder. I wrapped one arm around her waist and held her against me until she came again. My muscles were strained and I was sweating, but I wasn’t done yet. I needed to taste her again. I wanted to feel her lose control again. The more I touched her, the more I needed her. I rolled her over and kissed my way to the sweet spot between her legs. Tiny beads of perspiration covered her body. Her legs fell open and her hips lifted to greet my mouth. Her hand was on the back of my head pressing me into her. I couldn’t remember the last lover who openly took everything I gave. I ran my tongue up and down her drenched, swollen slit. Her appreciative moans encouraged me. I gently pulled on her clit with my mouth and when her thighs tightened around my head, I sucked harder until the third orgasm ripped through her body. I placed tiny kisses on her legs until she released my hair. I crawled up and pulled her into my arms. I had no words.
She clutched me, held me close to her as if she let up just a little, I would disappear. “I’m not letting you go this time,” she said.
“I know you don’t want to.” I trusted her feelings. I just didn’t trust her actions.
“I know I’m going to have to do a lot to convince you that I want you in my life, and I know I have a lot to do to make up for the way I hurt you before. I’m just looking for a chance at us again.” Her voice was low and throaty.
I shivered at her words. Was I ready to confess? Was it safe for my heart? I’d built a wall around it for so long that I didn’t know if what I was feeling was real or a fantasy. Would tomorrow be different? Just because she was here tonight, didn’t mean we had a tomorrow. Parker had a long road ahead fielding questions about her personal life from every avenue. And once the world found out the reason, they would be relentless. I didn’t answer her but ran my fingertips up and down her arm.
“What time do you have to be at work tomorrow?” she asked.
“Bill said he didn’t want to see anybody until ten. What time do you have to be home? And how were you able to get away?”
“I told my parents I was going out with my friends since Grayson was celebrating with the guys.”
Her words were a pit in my stomach. I hated lying. “How long did the lawyer say it would take for the divorce to finalize?”
“We waived the mandatory waiting period so the lawyer thinks about a month,” she said.
“That’s not long,” I said. We were both quiet. “As incredible as tonight is, we can’t do this again until after the divorce is finalized.”
“I understand.” She put her hand on my chest. “But I want you to know that our divorce has been in the works for a long time, and I’ve been thinking about you for so many years.” Her voice wavered at the end of her sentence.
I wanted to trust her, but I’d been guarded for so long. “We can wait a month. We’ve waited this long.” I looked at the time. It was nine o’clock. “What time do you have to go?”
She looked at the clock. “I still have another hour.” She kissed me softly and sucked my bottom lip into her mouth. There was something so perfect about kissing the person who taught you how to kiss in the first place. It was familiar, and incredibly exciting.
Her hands fluttered down my body, and I braced myself, knowing that I wasn’t going to last. Her mouth was hot against my cooling skin and when she ran her tongue over my clit, I bit back a loud moan. She wasn’t gentle and I didn’t want her to be. I grabbed the sheets and held on as she reminded me what I’d missed for so many years. I came twice before I had to stop her. My body was out of practice, and I knew time was our enemy. When we couldn’t delay her leaving any longer, I held her by the front door and wondered if this was real or a dream. I allowed a sliver of happiness to weave inside my heart when she said this was a new beginning and we were just getting started. Again.