Present
Monica Meadows pulled me aside after the Cheetahs lost the division championship game. “Coach, what a tough loss, but an amazing journey. Do you have any regrets?”
It was hard to hear in the stadium since they were celebrating and we were trying to have a conversation through a veil of silver and blue confetti.
“Absolutely no regrets. This team surpassed the expectations I had for them. I’m so proud of everything we’ve accomplished. How many teams can say they went from ground zero to the division championship game their first year ever? It takes years for a team to gel, but somehow, we not only had a winning season but did amazingly well in post-season.” I was sad we were so close but couldn’t get there, but also happy that we made it this far.
“Congratulations on your success with the team. You brought in Grayson Moats and proved to the NFL that not only could a woman take a team this far but could motivate a once retired quarterback to return to the game. Is he really retiring?” she asked.
When she put the microphone back in my face, I stuttered. I didn’t want to say anything until it was official. Maybe in the last three minutes his agent released a statement, but I didn’t know. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to talk to him about that.”
“Great job, Coach McCoy. Good luck next season.”
“Thanks for all your work down here on the field, Monica.” She hugged me on national television, and I didn’t care. More reporters were flagging me over, but I really wanted to talk to the team. They needed me more than any network.
“Coach, come on in.” Bill waved me into the locker room.
My heart went out to the players who were crying or upset about our loss. The emotional side of football was harder to break down. As somebody who had put their heart and soul into this game, I knew it was a tough loss to swallow.
“I’m proud of each and every one of you,” Bill said. “You gave the team everything and it showed. This season was a victory in our hearts. I want you to know that what you did here was remarkable and you are all winners. Keep your heads held high.” We applauded the players, the coaches, and the trainers who were with us. We didn’t make it to the Super Bowl, but I couldn’t imagine things could be better than this. “Let’s go home.”
I left before the guys started undressing. The season was over. That meant everything.
Parker and I had one incredible night last month, but we had kept to our agreement. Even once news of the divorce was leaked, we waited. It was hard but I knew it would be worth it to fully give ourselves to each other.
“McCoy, Pierson, and Trust. We’re meeting with the media in ten. Pierson, remind Moats he’s expected in twenty,” Bill said.
We all knew he was retiring. Now that we were a proven winning team, players were going to line up to play for us. I fixed my makeup and brushed my hair. I was hyped up. I waited with Marcus outside the press room. We both knew our résumés just got way more attractive. I wasn’t going anywhere, but I wasn’t so sure about him.
“I can’t believe it’s over,” he said.
“What an incredible season.” I gave him a hug. When Bill and Jamal showed up, we walked in together. It was a quick question-and-answer session. I stayed when Grayson took the podium.
“Yes, the rumors are true. I’m retiring. It’s been a hell of a ride but it’s the best move for me and my family.” Grayson answered each question with poise and positivity. I was weirdly proud of him. After twenty minutes, he stepped away from the podium and away from football.
The team threw him a retirement party the Friday before the Super Bowl. News of his divorce was quickly swallowed up by the hype of the big game. Now that Grayson was retired, his personal life wasn’t in the limelight. It was the best result the Moats could have hoped for.
Every single teammate and coach showed up for Grayson’s party. The girls stuck by his side. For the first time in Grayson’s career, Parker hung back. She stayed close because of the girls, but she was distancing herself from him. Change was happening. I kept my distance and spent the evening hanging out with Matt. I got to hear his side of the story and the hardships he muddled through while waiting for Grayson. He had tried other relationships but failed. Grayson was his true love and he said he was worth the wait. I wondered if he knew about me and Parker until he caught me watching her across the room.
He nodded at her. “She’s happier than I’ve ever seen her.”
“What?” I smiled and bumped my shoulder against his. “I mean, we’re not together. Yet. Officially.”
“You might be keeping a respectful distance, but love looks good on her.” Matt glanced my way. “And on you.”
For the first time, I let myself feel happiness about me and Parker around another person. It blossomed inside me and burst into a kaleidoscope. I blushed at how liberating it felt. “Thank you.”
Archie approached us and Matt gave him a bland smile. “Coach McCoy, do you want to come to my Super Bowl party? Lots of people, huge screen, great food,” Archie said.
“I’m hanging out with my dad, but thanks for the offer.” I felt bad for Archie. I was sure he thought he was going to take Grayson’s place, but that wasn’t going to happen. Our scouts had found a few quarterbacks coming up in the draft, but we had our eye on a benchwarmer from Jacksonville who had massive potential and wasn’t being utilized. If we bought out his contract, we could use the draft for defensive backs. “Speaking of which, I should get going. I need to pack so I can get out of here first thing in the morning.” We were off for a few days and I planned on spending the weekend with my dad and Judy. Dad and I had always watched the Super Bowl together and I had no interest in messing with tradition.
When I was driving a text from Parker popped up. You looked beautiful tonight.
I purposely wore three-inch heels and a dress for Parker’s enjoyment. I was still shorter than most of the players even though I towered over the coaches and wives. I drove home smiling. It was a good night. I had the weekend off and I was driving to my dad’s in Rhode Island in the morning. I called Hayley as I drove because she deserved to know the whole story.
“You’ve been holding out on me. I get that you couldn’t tell me about the divorce, but you still suck.”
I sighed. “There’s more.”
“Oh, God. This sounds bad. It’s bad, isn’t it?”
“It’s not really my story to tell, but part of it is mine so I think I can tell you. This can’t get out though.” I could practically hear her roll her eyes at me.
“Okay, I pinky swear or whatever the kids say now.”
“Well, they don’t say that. Okay.” I squeezed the steering wheel and braced myself for the barrage of questions that she for sure would pelt me with. “Grayson’s gay.” I winced waiting for the explosion.
“What?” Her volume level didn’t disappoint.
“He’s gay. So is Parker. Or at least she’s bi. I never asked her how she identifies.”
“Well, I figured that about Parker, but wow. Grayson?” I heard rustling around and knew she was pacing. “Are you kidding me? What the fuck? How long has he known?”
“I don’t know, but he and Matt have been dating since college.”
“Uncle Matt?” Her volume was back. “What about Parker? How is she doing? Wait. Did she know?”
“She’s known since the beginning,” I said.
“Oh, Sutton. This is a lot to take in. I feel so bad for them. What about the kids? How are they doing?”
“According to Grayson and Parker, they are adjusting well. They’ve known Matt their entire lives. Grayson and Matt have an apartment near the house. They’ll have fifty-fifty custody.”
Her voice got low. “What does that mean for you?”
I blew out a breath but stayed silent.
“You’re going to jump on that, aren’t you?”
I needed to be honest. Tears welled up. I couldn’t lie to Hayley. “I already did.”
“You did what?” she yelled. She was going to wake the boys.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you.” My voice hitched and I stopped the sob that bubbled up in my throat. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath, but I couldn’t stop the tears. I was crying for my past, my present, and my future. “It wasn’t my story to tell and I couldn’t tell you that without telling you the rest.” I was babbling, but I hated lying to Hayley.
“Sis, you need to pull over. It’s okay, but you can’t drive when you’re crying like this.” Hayley was right. I pulled into an empty parking lot with bright lights.
“Okay. I’m stopped now.”
“Good. Tell me the whole story now.”
I spilled the entire thing. I started with the kiss on Halloween and ended with tonight and Matt telling me how happy Parker and I looked. Hayley knew my confession was hard but instead of berating me, she stepped up like she always did.
“It’s okay, Sutton. You’ve waited a long time. Have you talked at all?” Hayley asked.
“I told her we could talk when the divorce was final.”
“This is a lot to think about. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Grayson is gay. What a mess.”
“I know, but they are working on a solution on what’s best for the family.”
“Wow, just wow,” she said.
“That’s exactly what I said when they told me. It’s a lot to think about.” I started my car back up and got back on the road. “I’m headed home now. Get some sleep. We’ll text during the game. It’s been such a long week.”
“It’s been a long season,” she said.
“A long life.”
Minutes later, I slid into the garage and parked. I scrolled through the other messages on my phone. I had several text messages but scrolled until I saw Parker’s name. I opened the text thread and dropped my phone when I read her message.
The divorce is final. When can we talk?
It was after midnight, but I was too excited and texted her back. I’ll be home Monday by noon.
The bubbles made me smile. She was still awake. I’ll bring lunch. See you then.
* * *
Judy made a ton of appetizers for the game even though it was just the three of us watching it. Dad and I cheered the great plays and booed the bad calls. Watching the game was bittersweet. It should’ve been us, could’ve been us, but the better team won.
“Should’ve been you out there, kiddo,” Dad said.
“Amen. But we certainly gave them a run for their money.”
“How do you feel about the Cheetahs? Are you going to stick with them?”
“Starting at the beginning makes all the difference. I feel like being part of this greatness only happens once in a lifetime,” I said.
“You’ve done an amazing job.”
“He brags about you to anyone who will listen,” Judy said. She handed him a beer and kissed him on the lips. She gave me a beer and squeezed my shoulder. Our relationship was new, but I liked her. She gave my dad a peace that I hadn’t seen in forever. When the Titans won the Super Bowl, I was happy for them, but couldn’t shake my jealousy.
“Welp. There’s always next year.”
I rolled my eyes. “Dad, that’s the most overused phrase in the NFL.”
“I think in any sport.” He turned off the television. “So I heard that Grayson and Parker are getting a divorce.”
“Yep. It was just finalized.”
He turned so he could see me better. “How do you feel about that?”
I knew what he was really asking. “I feel like it’s the best thing for their relationship. It’s an amicable split, Dad.”
“Is she back in your life?”
“Yes, and no, the divorce isn’t because of me.”
“I like Parker, but she broke your heart and I don’t want the same thing to happen again. I know you’re an adult now, but you’ll always be my little girl and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
I shrugged like the fate of my future and my heart wasn’t a big deal. “If it doesn’t work out, then I’ll move on.” I could tell he wanted to say something, but he pursed his lips instead. I was thankful that he was respectful of my decisions no matter what he thought of them.
“I want you to find love. Once you do, it’ll change your life forever. Hopefully, you’ll have it with Parker, but if not, just know there are so many women out there who would love the opportunity to spend time with you. You’re such an amazing person, Sutton. Never forget that.”
He squeezed my hand and excused himself to help Judy with cleaning up. We’d spend the rest of the night getting caught up before I left early in the morning. I wanted to drive home tonight, but I also knew it was important to spend time with them. They’d been together for six months and from the looks of it, bits and pieces of Judy were sprinkled in his house. The throw pillows were frilly and something my dad wouldn’t have picked out himself. The clock in the kitchen had apples instead of numbers and the knitted throw on the back of the couch looked like it was homemade and crafted with love.
After tossing and turning in the guest bed for an appropriate amount of time, I ate a quick breakfast, grabbed Crowbar, and rushed back to Bridgemont. I told my dad I needed to get back to wrap up some loose ends. When we pulled up in the driveway, my heart stopped before the car did. Parker was here. I looked at the time. It was ten thirty. I wasn’t expecting her until noon. I checked my reflection in the visor, let my hair down, and got out of the car. She wasn’t in her car and she wasn’t waiting at the front door.
I opened the door and found her waiting inside like she belonged there and it was just an ordinary day in my life. Only it wasn’t. Crowbar wagged his tail and headed straight for her. I needed to catch my breath first. I was weak-kneed again.
“Hi,” I said.
“I hope you don’t mind that I let myself in through the garage with the code.” She winced as if it was a bad decision when it was the best possible surprise.
“That’s totally fine. I’m glad you did.”
“I’m early, but I couldn’t wait.” She walked toward me, shyly, gracefully, completely vulnerable.
I hadn’t seen her look at me like that in fifteen years. The tears fell. I couldn’t stop them. The space between us, once full of history, bad decisions, and regrets, was clear. Nothing was stopping us. I pulled her in my arms and held her. She felt right.
“Let’s sit. We have a lot to talk about,” I said. We sat on the couch and I positioned myself so we were facing one another. “So, you’re single again.”
She smiled and my pulse jumped. “I’ve been single for three days,” she said. She held my hand. “But I don’t want to be. I want to try again with you.” She held up her hand when I tried to interrupt. “No, you’re not the rebound person. You’re the one. You’ve always been the one.” She brought my hand up to her chest and placed it over her heart. “You’ve always been right here. Even when I was too scared to admit it to the world.” She brushed her lips across mine. “I’m not scared anymore.”
“This is going to get messy. I want what’s best for you and the girls.”
“They want us both to be happy. Right now they are with Grayson and Matt until Wednesday.”
“How are they going to feel about you? Specifically dating me?”
“At least a third of the students at Wellington have same-sex parents. It’s something they’ve grown up with. I can’t tell you how many books are available to help parents with this very thing,” she said. She straddled me and locked her fingers behind my neck. “I need you to trust me again. I know it won’t be easy and I don’t blame you at all. But I’m here, and unless you kick me out right now, I’m staying until Wednesday.”
I wasn’t going to play coy during such a heartfelt moment. Everything I wanted was right in front of me. We both went about it the long way, but just like my dad and Hayley told me, if Parker and I were meant to be, then it would happen. Who knew it would be fifteen years later? I wanted to take the plunge. I deserved it.
I kissed her hard. She gasped but matched my energy within a second. Her tongue parted my lips and plunged into my mouth. I moaned at the intimacy of it. I pulled at the hem of her sweater and she immediately removed it. She was wearing a pink tank with no bra. Her nipples strained against the fabric. I ran my fingers over her breasts gently at first until she pressed herself into my hands. Her hips rocked into mine and I knew she wasn’t looking for a soft touch. I took off her tank, then tossed my sweater on top of it. I flipped so her back was on the couch. I didn’t even think to take her back to my bedroom. There was no time. I needed her naked body against mine as quickly as possible. I needed that connection now. I pulled off her leggings and panties. I sank into her warmth, her desperation, her love. This was real. She pushed and pulled against my body, bringing me closer, directing me where to touch her. I pushed her thighs up and licked her pussy hard and fast. She grabbed the couch cushion and moaned. Her other hand wound in my hair and held me against her. She was wild and uninhibited, beautiful, and finally mine. I’d waited a lifetime for her.
“I love you, Sutton,” she cried out. She bucked hard against me and I held her hips down and sucked her clit into my mouth. “I need you inside me.” I slipped two fingers inside as far as I could go. She tilted her head back and the sexiest moan poured from her lips. “Oh, God, yes.” She braced herself by grabbing the back of the couch. A powerful orgasm shook her body. Her body quivered and she gasped to catch her breath.
“You’re amazing,” I said right before I kissed her. She threw her arms around me and held me close. Her body was slick with perspiration, and I knew once she came down from the high of orgasming, she was going to be cold. “Let’s go to the bedroom so we can get warm and talk.” I gently pulled her up and wrapped her in the blanket draped across the back of the couch.
“Talk?” she asked and kissed me softly.
“I’m sure there will be words.”
She winked and opened the blanket that was wrapped around her.
I playfully gasped. “Did you just flash me?” I grabbed the ends of the blanket to pull her close as I walked backward. I unfolded a corner and peeked. “Oh, I like.”
She kissed me softly. “You like a little or a lot?”
I picked her up and carried her to the bed. “I love a lot.”
“Love?” She touched my face.
My breath hitched. “Definitely love.” I turned on the fireplace for heat and followed her to the bed. “I love you, Parker. You’ve always had my heart, even when we were on different paths.”
“I promise I’m never letting go. I belong with you.” She straddled my waist.
I ran my hands up and down her thighs. “I’ve missed you so much. I never wanted anyone else.”
She kissed me tenderly and moved down my neck to my collarbone, then ran her tongue over my breasts. She scraped her teeth over my hard nipples and ran her fingers down to the junction of my thighs. I parted my legs, anxious to feel her inside me. She was already deep in my heart. The physical connection was magnified because we were finally free to be in love. I rocked my hips against her hand, trying not to come immediately, but I gave in. We had every single day for the rest of our lives to go slow. I shouted and shook, and when I was done, I pulled her into my arms and held her tight.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I said.
“I’m never leaving you,” she said. Her words were said with such conviction.
I pulled the covers over us and even though it was barely afternoon, we fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Hours later, I felt her warmth leave me. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to order food so we can sustain this for the next forty-eight hours.”
I watched her slip on one of my sweatshirts and walk out of the bedroom, her tiny ass cheeks peeking out from below the hemline. She returned with her phone and two water glasses and crawled under the covers.
“What sounds good to eat?” she asked as she pulled up an app on her phone.
I nibbled on her neck. “You.”
She turned her head. “Besides me.”
“Me.”
She laughed. “Besides us.”
This was my perfect moment. We were in bed talking about the simplest thing, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Our journey was anything but easy and the road ahead was sure to have pitfalls, but nothing mattered except this moment.
“I’d cook, but you don’t have any food in the house. How is that possible?”
I shrugged. “I’m never home.”
“Hopefully, that changes because after fifteen years apart, I’m going to need to see you more than a few times a week,” she said.
I knew two things that would happen in this relationship. I wouldn’t be at the office until eleven every night because I knew she would be waiting for me, and even if I had to be there, she would support me. “I promise to put you first. Always.” I loved my job, but I could coach football anywhere.
She cupped my face in her hands. “I know you will. We’ve been through too much. I trust you, Sutton. With my heart, with my life, and with my family.” The determined look on her face made my stomach flip flop. I put her phone on the nightstand.
“But I was going to order food.” She laughed when I nuzzled her neck. “We’re going to wither away before this relationship takes off. What are you doing?”
I nestled my body between her legs, eliciting a soft moan from her slightly swollen lips. “I’m making up for lost time, remember? We have a lot of catching up to do.”