Past
We met Parker’s new friends at a mall by Hilltop High. It was so hard not to grab Parker’s hand or pull her close.
“This is my best friend, Sutton McCoy. She’s the quarterback for Oak Grove.”
“Hi,” I said.
One of them stood. She was pretty and had an adorable smile with pronounced dimples. “I’m Emilia. It’s nice to finally meet you.” She gave me a quick hug.
“Hi. I’ve heard so much about you.”
Amanda looked me up and down and smirked. She nudged Kirsten with her elbow. What was it about cheerleaders and their bitchiness? “You’re tall,” she said.
I shrugged. “I model in my spare time.” Even though it was a total lie, Hayley would be so proud of me. “But not during football season.” Their eyes widened and I could tell they were trying to figure out if I was lying or not. I fluffed out my hair and struck a pose.
Parker snorted. “She’s just playing around although she totally could,” Parker said. She winked at me. “Modeling is way better than pageantry.”
“You were Miss Mountain View, weren’t you?” I asked.
Parker held up two fingers. “Twice.”
Amanda and Kirsten looked at one another. “That’s really cool.” They were clearly impressed by the pageant wins and not my sports career, which told me exactly what I needed to know about them.
Amanda and Kirsten were obviously the type who gave all cheerleaders a bad name. Despite the bitchiness, I could understand why Parker joined cheer. Her parents gave her an option. She could either cheer or join their youth ministry. Cheering was easy, and even though she didn’t like it, it kept her occupied. And with Emilia on the team, it made fitting in a lot easier. It made my heart happy that she knew somebody else going to her new school. Parker told me she’d told Emilia about us. Emilia thought it was great and said our secret was safe with her. After two minutes with Amanda and Kirsten, I doubted the rest of the squad would react the same.
“Are you dating anyone, Sutton?” Kirsten asked.
Sbarro smelled delicious and I regretted succumbing to peer pressure and ordering an Orange Julius like the rest of Parker’s friends. Kirsten’s question rattled me. I held my finger up as I swallowed. “Not at the moment.”
“Even with all those yummy football boys around?” Amanda asked.
I laughed a little too loud. Clearly, Parker hadn’t told them I was a lesbian. “After you play football with them, they don’t smell so yummy.”
“We should find you somebody. Parker already has a few guys interested. It’s just a matter of time before she figures out which one she likes,” Amanda said.
Red splotches appeared on Parker’s cheeks. “It’s only because I’m the new girl.” She refused to look at me.
Kirsten leaned forward. “Speak of the devil.” She waved at a group of guys. “Hey, Grayson.”
A tall, good-looking guy with sandy-blond hair walked over to the table. Based on his build and Hawkeyes shirt, I immediately knew he was the quarterback of their school. He was flanked by oversized guys who were clearly his linebackers.
“What’s going on?” He nodded at everyone, but his eyes landed on Parker. She avoided eye contact. He smiled confidently. “Parker, it’s good to see you out. I didn’t think your parents ever let you do anything.” He pulled up a chair and sat on the end of the table closest to her.
“My best friend came up to visit so we’re all hanging out.” She seemed so nervous around him. Something felt off.
“Get this, Grayson. Sutton is a quarterback, too,” Amanda said.
He busted out laughing and covered his mouth with his fist. The two goons howled. “You? You’re a quarterback?”
“Yeah, so?” I asked. I wanted to verbally drop my résumé in front of him, but something told me he didn’t care.
He crossed his arms. “I’ve never heard about you. Are you new? What school?” One of his buddies punched him.
“This is my third year leading the Oak Grove Pumas.”
More snickers. “Divisions must kill you. I’ve never heard of Oak Grove. I’ve been the quarterback for Hilltop since sophomore year and we’ve gone to state the last two years. We’ll go again this year. There’s no competition.” He waved his hand at me. “No offense.”
I bit my cheek to keep my anger in check. I silently counted to five. “None taken. Maybe I’ll see you this year.” I shrugged and looked around, bored. That made the guys laugh even harder.
“Be nice, jackasses,” Amanda said even though she was laughing, too.
“I heard she’s actually really good,” Emilia said.
I was irritated that Parker was silent while Emilia defended me. I was having a miserable time, but I promised Parker I would try. I knew she was trying to fit in, but at what expense?
“So, there’s a party tonight if you want to come,” Grayson said. He looked at me pointedly. “You can come, too.”
“Gee, thanks. That sounds swell,” I said. I couldn’t hide my sarcasm, nor did I want to. After spending ten minutes with the superstars of the Hawkeye football team, I was done. I needed a change. “I’m going to grab some coffee. Do you want to come with?” I asked Parker.
“What? You can’t do it by yourself?” Grayson pointed to a Starbucks across the food court. “It’s right there.”
“I thought my friend would like some fresh air since you seem hell-bent on breathing in her space.” I stood and waited for Parker to decide.
“Sure. I could use a pick-me-up,” Parker said. We crossed the food court. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why everyone is acting like that,” she said.
I could tell she wanted to touch me, but all eyes were on us. I could feel my anger ramping up. I hoped Parker would come to terms with her sexuality soon. Her parents were homophobic. Her church was homophobic. I felt like I was fighting a losing battle some days. Today was one of those days.
“I know it’s hard for you and I’m really trying, but your friends are different than what I’m used to,” I said.
“I know.” Her shoulders slumped.
I wanted to hug her, but I knew the rules. “I’m sure you will find your people, but I just don’t think they are them. And what’s up with Grayson hitting on you?”
We stepped up to the counter and Parker didn’t answer my question.
“Can I take your order? Oh, hey. Parker, right?” The barista was friendly. There was a rainbow bracelet on her left wrist.
Parker smiled. “Hi, Brianna. Yeah, Parker. This is my friend Sutton from Oak Grove.”
“Hi, Sutton. Welcome to suburban hell. Can I get you something?”
“One coffee with two cane sugars and two creams, and one coffee with hazelnut syrup,” I said.
“Coming right up,” Brianna said.
Parker and I moved to the side. “She’s nice. Why can’t you pick somebody like that to be friends with?”
Parker folded her arms. When she did that, I knew an argument was coming. “I’m trying to fit in. This is my third high school. Third. I have no long-term friends because my dad keeps getting relocated. If I don’t stay friends with those cheerleaders, they can get me kicked off the team. Staying on their good side is the easiest way to get through senior year.”
I couldn’t help myself. I put my hands on her shoulders. I was careful to keep my hands loose so it looked like I was consoling her. “I get it. I’m just saying that it’s hard for me, too.”
She smiled. “I know this isn’t easy for you either. I just need time to adjust. Let’s skip the party and do something else. Somewhere quiet and dark.” She wiggled her eyebrows at me. Her smile was adorable and my heart raced.
“That sounds way better than any party.”
“Here you go.” Brianna set the cups on the counter. “Nice to meet you, Sutton.”
“Thanks, Brianna. Nice to meet you, too.”
“You’re so fucking charming.” Parker playfully elbowed me in the ribs. I almost spilled my coffee but it felt good to joke around.
“Oh, my God. You were talking to that gay girl.” Amanda looked repulsed.
Counting to five did nothing to curb my anger this time. “Her name is Brianna and she’s really nice.”
Amanda leaned back. “Relax, Sutton. I’ve known her for years and she’s weird.”
“Why? Because she’s gay?” I asked. Grayson and his entourage made gagging noises.
“She’s always been weird. Look at her hair. I bet she never showers. She always smells.” Kirsten waved her hand under her nose.
“Leave her alone. She’s fine,” Emilia said.
“She’s nice.” Parker’s voice was soft, but at least she said something. She held up her cup of coffee. “And she got my order right.”
Grayson laughed. “That doesn’t make her friend material. That means she’s great for the service industry. I still don’t want a lesbian making my coffee. She needs to bury that shit deep.”
I squeezed the back of the chair. “So, if she wasn’t gay, you’d be best friends with her, right?”
“Oh, God, no. She still stinks,” Grayson said.
“Well, I can smell your linebackers from here so I don’t think anyone here has room to talk.” My voice was clipped. I wasn’t backing down. Not from this. Not even for Parker. Sometimes things were bigger than worrying about fitting in for nine months.
“Burn!” Grayson pointed to his friends. “She’s not wrong. You should try soap during the showers instead of gaying it up with each other.”
“Shut up, man.” The one with the buzz cut pushed Grayson’s shoulder, pissed that the conversation turned to him.
“It doesn’t feel good, does it? People making fun of you,” I said. My stomach was in knots, but I wasn’t backing down.
Grayson held his hands up. “Okay, truce, QB, truce.”
“We should probably go,” Parker said. She picked up her empty smoothie cup.
I smiled at the group and batted my eyelashes. “Emilia, it was so nice to meet you. I’m glad Parker has you around.” I gave the rest of the table a bored look. “Nice to meet you all. Buh-bye.” I followed Parker. We walked in silence out to the parking lot. “I know I’m supposed to support you, but they’re horrible.”
She yanked open her car door and slammed it shut behind her. I slipped inside, thinking we were in for another argument, but I was surprised when she reached for my hand.
“I know and I’m super mad at them. Come on. I know the perfect place where we can be ourselves,” she said.
We left my car at the mall and Parker drove us to a small movie theater that was playing Breakfast at Tiffany’s. There was an older couple sitting in the front so Parker and I found a dark corner where we could hold hands and kiss. It was two hours of pure bliss. She kissed me in the dark and my moan was swallowed up by the movie’s loud volume.
When Parker drove me back to my car at the mall, we held hands the whole way. I almost forgot how irritating her friends were.
“I’m glad we got to hang out today,” I said.
“I know. This sucks. My parents are the worst. They have this idea of who I should be. I want to stand up to them, but I can’t. They’re my parents, you know?”
I had to look at it from her perspective. I had a wonderful dad. Parker was under the thumb of her parents. “I love you. I know you’re strong and one day you’ll figure things out and stand up to them.”
We had slipped back into Sutton and Parker, two girls in love. We were always going to be together regardless of the Graysons, Amandas, and Kirstens of the world.