The next morning, a smile spread across my face as I stepped through the connecting door to my office. A bouquet of daisies, a bakery box, and a note in Cassidy’s tight, controlled handwriting were waiting on my desk. The note read: Sorry about last night. I hope you have a good first day at work. I’ll stop by at lunch time. C. Underneath that, he’d written: Cassidy, by the way. Not Colt. That made me chuckle. No way was he going to let the credit go to my ex.
The box contained an enormous blueberry muffin. I broke off a piece and popped it in my mouth before investigating a yellow sticky note on a shelf in the corner. It said ‘push me’ above an arrow that pointed to a button on a new-looking coffee maker. When I followed the instructions, the pot began to brew. Soon a wonderful aroma filled the room. Beneath the coffee station was a mini fridge, which contained creamer and a few snacks. Cassidy really was thoughtful.
Once the coffee was ready, I poured myself a cup and added lots of milk and sugar, then carried it to my desk and turned on the computer. While I waited for it to start up, I sat down in my swivel chair and looked around me. Like my bedroom, the office had a wall of glass at the back, with a sliding door that led to a small patio. That was to my right, and the main door to the hallway and the rest of the building was to my left.
If I had to guess, I would have said Cassidy couldn’t decide if my desk should face toward the windows or the main door, so he’d compromised by placing it perpendicular to both. It faced a full wall of bookshelves and a pair of chairs, and the door to the bathroom was behind me. I thought he’d made the right call. I wanted to enjoy the view out the patio door, but I didn’t want to sit with my back to the main entrance, so this made sense.
The other thing that was behind me, piled up on either side of the bathroom door, were stacks and stacks of file boxes. Since the ranch wasn’t exactly bringing in a lot of business, there wasn’t enough day-to-day bookkeeping to fill even a part-time workday. But there was a backlog of paperwork that I was supposed to enter into the new computer program, and I told Beck I’d be tackling that bit by bit in the weeks ahead.
First though, some current receipts were waiting in my in-box. I took a sip of coffee before sorting through them. Most were from Cassidy. They included purchases of hay, straw, and oats, a vet bill, and a visit from someone called a farrier. I had to look that up and learned it was the name for someone who made horseshoes. It surprised me that I’d never heard the term before, or maybe I’d just forgotten it.
I entered the information into a monthly spreadsheet, which I’d started during my vacation at the ranch. The horses were a big expense, so it was a little surprising that Ren hadn’t sold them off over the last three years. During that time, the business had been hemorrhaging money at an alarming rate. In fact, if Dante Dombruso hadn’t come on as an investor when he did, the ranch probably would have had to shut down in the next month or two. Even with the influx of cash, they still had serious problems, especially since so much of that money had gone to settle old debts.
It startled me when someone knocked on the door, which I’d forgotten to unlock. When I swung it open, Beck greeted me with, “Good morning, Elijah! How’s everything going?” He was wearing red swim trunks and a white tank top, and in typical Beck fashion, he’d paired his ensemble with an aviator’s cap and a pair of yellow flip flops.
“It’s going great,” I said. Beck dropped into one of the chairs on the other side of my desk and I gestured behind him. “There’s fresh coffee. Can I pour you a cup?”
“Thanks, but I’d better not. I already drank a whole pot this morning. Vee and I are going on a field trip, but I wanted to see if you needed anything before we go.”
I returned to my seat and told him, “I’m all set. Who’s going to keep an eye on things while you’re gone?”
“Colt.”
At first I thought he was kidding, but when it became clear he wasn’t, I asked, “Is he even up yet?”
“He’s been up since seven. The kid’s eager to make a good impression.”
“What’s he supposed to be doing while you’re on a field trip? Also, where are you going?”
“Vee and I are heading into town to talk to this guy I know about offering exclusive snorkeling and kayaking package deals to our customers. You know, once we have some. It was Vee’s idea, and I think it’ll be a great selling point.”
“That’s smart,” I said. I left out if premature.
“Meanwhile, Colt’s supposed to man the phones, tidy up the reception desk, and keep an eye out for drop-ins. Not that we’ve ever had any.”
“Are you still getting calls for the exterminator?”
“A few, but they’re tapering off. I guess that’s because most of the Sunday papers have found their way into a recycling bin by now.”
As he got up, I asked, “Anything in particular you want me to do while you’re gone?”
“Yeah, could you please see to it that Cassidy gets laid? He’s in a mood this morning, and I really think it would cheer him up.” Beck grinned at me and winked as he headed out the door, and I shot him an exasperated look.
It didn’t take long to empty my in-box, and after that, I turned my attention to the file boxes. They proved to be a mess. The relevant things I was actually looking for, like bills and receipts, were mixed in with all kinds of random stuff.
I sat on the beige, industrial carpeting and tried to divide the boxes’ contents into categories. At one point, I discovered some photos of the ranch as it was being built, which were both interesting and depressing. There were several of Ren and Simon, and they looked so happy back then.
About an hour into my project, my phone rang, and I answered it with, “Hi Finn. How’s it going?”
“Hey Eli! I’m not getting you in trouble by calling while you’re at work, am I?”
“It’s totally fine. This is the most laid back workplace imaginable.”
Finn said, “Okay, good. I have to go to work in a few minutes, so I wanted to catch you before then. Chance told me you messaged him about coming for a visit and photographing the ranch, so I checked my work schedule. We’re pretty short-handed at the station, so soonest I can get away for a long weekend is next month. Is that soon enough, or should I tell Chance to go without me?”
“There’s no real hurry on the photos, and I’d love it if both of you came for a visit.”
“Great! In that case, I’ll get the plans rolling.”
“You’re going to love it here, and I’m so glad I’ll get to see you.”
“I can’t wait! So tell me, how’s it going so far? Are you getting settled in?” I told him how Cassidy had pieced together a beautiful room and office for me, and Finn said, “He sounds sweet.”
“He’s amazing. Our first official date is tonight, and I’m really excited.”
Finn asked, “Does that mean there have been unofficial dates?”
“You could say that. We spent a lot of time together over the weekend, and I have a really good feeling about this.”
“I’m happy for you, Eli.”
“Thanks. I’m happy for me, too.”
“How’s Colt coping with your new beau?”
“It started off a bit rocky,” I admitted, “but hopefully they’ll end up as friends.” Even as I said it, I was thinking yeah, right.
*****
At noon, Cassidy appeared in the open doorway holding a picnic basket and asked, “Am I interrupting?”
I was still sitting on the floor, surrounded by dozens of folders and stacks of papers I’d unpacked from the totally disorganized file boxes, and I said, “Definitely not.” He took a tentative step into the room and looked around as I got up and wiped my palms on my jeans. “Sorry I trashed the place, after you took the time to make it cute for me. I promise I’m not going to leave it like this.”
“It’s your office. You can do whatever you want to it.”
I stepped around a few stacks of papers, then stretched up to kiss him on the cheek. “Thank you for the flowers, muffin, and coffee, along with everything else. Did you actually go to a bakery this morning?” When he nodded, I asked, “When did you find the time to do that?”
“I went out at seven a.m. I always run my errands early, before the town gets crowded. I had to go to the grocery store anyway, and the bakery was on my way.” He stepped over a pile of papers and asked, “Where would you like to eat?”
“Let’s go to the patio off my bedroom. It looks like a beautiful day out there.”
Cassidy followed me through the bathroom and my room. As soon as I opened the glass door, Gerald came in, and then he followed us right back outside as we stepped over the threshold. Two teak chairs were positioned on either side of a small table, facing the hammock. A balcony overhead shaded the patio, and all around us, thick vegetation created a sense of privacy.
As Cassidy unpacked the picnic basket onto the table, I indicated a nearly overgrown path that disappeared into the foliage and asked, “Where does that lead?”
“Ren’s house.”
“Oh. I thought he lived in the hotel. How have I never noticed his house?”
“It’s purposely hidden away, because he and Simon wanted privacy from the hotel guests. When they both lived here, Simon would use that path to travel back and forth from their home to his office.”
“What was he like?”
Cassidy handed me a bottle of soda and said, “To hear Ren tell it, Simon is the devil incarnate. But I thought he was alright.”
“Were you friends?”
“No. He left soon after I was hired, and the only conversations we ever had were about the horses. I liked the fact that he legitimately seemed to care about them. In fact, it was his idea to turn this place into a ranch, while Ren wanted a high-end resort. I thought they both got what they wanted, but then Simon left anyway.”
I thought about that as I took a drink from my bottle and Cassidy filled two plates with sandwiches, chips, and clusters of red grapes. A moment later, Colt yelled, “Hey Eli, where you at?”
“Where you at,” Cassidy echoed under his breath, and rolled his eyes.
I shouted, “Back here. Cut through the bathroom.”
A minute later, Colt appeared in the doorway, carrying a pizza box and a six-pack of soda. He smiled at me, but the moment he spotted Cassidy, the smile disappeared and he said, “I ordered us a pizza. It’s your favorite, mushroom and olive. I thought we could celebrate our first day at our new jobs, but I should have checked first to see if you had plans.”
Cassidy muttered, “You think?”
“You’re welcome to join us,” I said, as I gestured at the hammock.
“I don’t want to intrude.”
I said, “You’re not, and you shouldn’t have to eat lunch by yourself. Isn’t that right, Cassidy?”
“I eat lunch by myself all the time,” Cassidy said.
Wow, was this awkward. I flailed around for something to say and ended up with, “You know what? I don’t think you two have been introduced. Cassidy Juric, Colt Matthews. Colt, Cassidy.”
Colt frowned and asked, “Cassidy as in Butch? Because I have to say, butch is not the first word that comes to mind.”
Cassidy stared him down and fired back, “People named for tiny, weak, baby animals should really think twice before talking shit about someone else’s name.”
I sighed dramatically and said, “Could you two stop with the posturing? First of all, you’re both terrible at it. Secondly, if you stop puffing up your chests for about two seconds, you might find you actually like each other.”
Cassidy muttered, “That’s likely.”
And Colt said, “I’m going to eat at the front desk. You two have fun with your picnic. By the way, Elijah hates grapes, but that’s an easy mistake. It’s not like you know him.”
Colt went back inside and disappeared through the bathroom door, and I turned to Cassidy and asked, “Could you please cut him some slack?”
“Are you taking his side?”
“No, I’m not. I would have said the same thing to Colt if he was the one sitting here.”
Cassidy removed the grapes from my plate and put an apple in their place. Then he asked, “That’s a cheese sandwich. Is that alright?”
“It’s perfect.”
“Which do you prefer, barbeque chips or sour cream and onion?”
“Barbeque.” He swapped the little bag of chips on my plate for another from the picnic basket, and I asked, “Did you bring backups for my entire meal?”
“Yes, because as your BFF was nice enough to point out, I don’t know you that well yet, but I’m learning. Mushroom and olive pizza, barbeque chips, no grapes.”
“I’m actually not picky at all,” I said. “I was poor for way too long to be particular, so I’ll eat anything that’s put in front of me.”
“I still want to know what you like.”
I got up and climbed onto his lap, straddling his hips with my knees on the chair. Then I rested my hands on his shoulders and said, “You. That’s what I like.”
He looked up at me and grinned, just a little. “Me and fungus pizza.”
“Exactly.”
Cassidy frowned and said, “I should probably issue a blanket apology.”
“For what?”
“For being rude to your bestie today, and every other time I see him for the rest of my life.”
“If you met him without knowing he and I had a history, you’d like Colt.”
“No, I definitely wouldn’t.”
I asked, “Why not?”
“Because I hate everybody.”
“Except me.”
He nodded as he wrapped his hands around my waist. “Except you.”
“Could you try to get along with him for my sake?”
“Honestly? I doubt it. Besides the fact that I legitimately don’t like him, it’s just too weird.”
“What is?”
“Finding myself in this totally awkward love triangle.”
I clicked my tongue and insisted, “This is in no way a love triangle.”
“Colt seems to think it is.”
“But that still doesn’t make it a triangle, since I don’t share his feelings. This is more of a number line. Three points in a row with arrows at both ends, pointing in opposite directions.”
Cassidy looked amused. “For a math prodigy, I was expecting a better analogy.”
I chuckled at that, then said, “Sorry to disappoint.”
“You never do that. I don’t even think it’s possible. I, on the other hand, am amazing at it.”
I asked, “How do you figure?”
“Last night, for example. You asked me to spend the night, so I fell asleep at about nine p.m., and then I had a nightmare and bolted. If all of that wasn’t disappointing, your standards are too low.”
“While I would have preferred that you stayed,” I said, “I wasn’t disappointed. You were obviously rattled and needed some time to yourself.”
“Telling you that might have been an idea.”
I brushed his hair back from his eyes and asked, “Do you get nightmares a lot?”
“Yeah. I should have mentioned it sooner, but I’d managed to get through our first night together without it happening, so I was feeling optimistic.”
“Is it always the same dream?” He looked away and nodded. “What’s it about?”
“I can’t talk about it.” A little muscle started to work in his jaw as he ground his teeth.
“If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.” I grinned and tried to lighten the mood by saying, “On your lap, mostly.”
He grinned a little and seemed to relax slightly. After a few moments, he met my gaze and said, “Before I forget to ask, can I pick you up at seven for our date?”
“Sure. Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.” He looked pleased with himself.
“Should I dress up?”
“I only own jeans, T-shirts, and flannel shirts. That plus some sweats and a denim jacket are literally my entire wardrobe. So, the answer to that will always be no, because you now know what I’ll be wearing on every date. Also, please never take me anywhere that would require me to dress up, because I wouldn’t be able to.”
“Same here. When my family comes for a visit next month, they’ll probably want to go out to eat, but fortunately they live in jeans and T-shirts, too.”
He said, “You’re talking about Chance and Finn, the guys you were telling me about, right?”
“Exactly. They’re coming for a long weekend, both to visit Colt and me, and because Chance is going to take pictures of the ranch for Beck. I’d love it if all of us could spend some time together.”
Cassidy studied my face for a long moment before saying, “I’m trying to think of a nice way of saying no without hurting your feelings, but I’ve got nothing.”
“Please? They mean the world to me, and I really want you to get to know them.”
“Isn’t it a bit early for the whole ‘meet the family’ thing?”
I climbed off his lap because he looked uncomfortable and said, “It’s not for another month.”
Cassidy got up and walked across the patio. After a moment, he turned to me and asked, “Are you envisioning all of us hanging out together, like one big, happy family?”
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
“I can’t give you that. Don’t you see? I made an exception for you. For the first time in my life, I’m trying to trust someone enough to let them in. But this is all I can handle. Just you. So even though I’m sure Chance and Finn are wonderful people, and I really hope you have a great visit with your family, I can’t be a part of it.”
There was something about the way he said those words that broke my heart. He wasn’t being rude or flippant. He just seemed scared. I wondered if that fear, the nightmares, and whatever he couldn’t talk about in his past were all related.
I crossed the patio and gave him a hug. Then I said, “I understand, and I’m sorry if I was being pushy.”
“You weren’t. In fact, your expectations are perfectly reasonable. I’m the problem.”
We returned to our seats and started to eat our lunch, and after a while he asked, “How about a quick meet and greet when they’re here? Like, for five minutes. I could handle that.”
It meant a lot to me that he was clearly making an effort, and I said, “That would be great.”
He took a sip of soda before asking, “Out of curiosity, what have you told them about me?”
“When Finn called a couple of hours ago, I told him you’d set up a beautiful bedroom and office for me, and he said you sounded sweet. I also told him how excited I am about our date tonight.”
“I hope it lives up to expectations.”
“I already know it will.”
“It’s nice that you have so much confidence in me,” he said. “If only I had that much confidence in myself.”
*****
I left my room at six-forty-five that night, mostly to prevent myself from changing my clothes again. I’d already done that four times, which was pointless. I dressed to blend in, so everything I owned was pretty dull and more or less the same. But I’d done the best I could and was wearing a nice, navy blue sweater Finn had given me for Christmas, along with my least-baggy jeans.
On my way out, I ran into Zan and Gianni, who were heading to the exit from the opposite end of the building. They were laughing and hanging all over each other, and when they saw me, Zan exclaimed, “Well, if it isn’t my favorite singer. How are you, Eli?”
“Great, thanks. What are you guys up to?”
“We’ve just spent a lovely afternoon at the spa,” Zan said, gesturing back the way they’d come.
“I thought the spa was closed, because Beck didn’t have anyone to run it.”
“Oh, it is,” Gianni told me, “but Beck gives us the key whenever we ask for it. Between the whirlpool tub, steam room, and massage tables, it’s a little slice of heaven. You should check it out sometime.”
I said, “It sounds nice.”
Zan held the door open for us, and as we stepped outside he asked, “So, what’s on your agenda this evening?”
“Cassidy and I are going on a date. What about you two?”
Gianni said, “We’re headed back up to our casita.” They were staying in the largest of the Spanish-style cottages, at the very top of the hill. “I plan to do some writing, and Zan has a new song rattling around in his head that he wants to work on.”
“But we’ll probably end up fucking instead,” Zan said with a smile, as he slipped his arm around his boyfriend’s waist.
Gianni poked his side and said, “You’re making Elijah blush.”
“So I see.” Zan turned to me with a smile and said, “To change the subject to something only slightly less uncomfortable, I’m going to come find you later this week and pester you until you agree to sing with me.”
“I thought we’d talked about this and agreed there wasn’t any point in vocal lessons, since I’ll never get up in front of an audience.”
“We did talk about it, but we actually agreed it was still worthwhile to learn new things, even if it’s just for you.”
“We remember that conversation differently,” I said, as they headed up the hill.
Zan gave me a little wave and called, “See you soon!”
I watched them go, and then I turned my attention to the courtyard, where Beck, Vee, and Sage seemed to be throwing a very small party. Techno music was playing, and the trio was dancing with abandon. Colt joined them, which wasn’t too surprising. He’d always been good at making friends and wasn’t nearly as uptight as I was.
They didn’t notice me, which was good since I didn’t really want to answer any questions about my date, especially in front of Colt. I headed to my left, traveling uphill, then wound around the back of the main building.
The ATV that Cassidy had used to pick me up at the ferry dock was parked in front of his apartment. He was packing its little trailer, and when he looked up and saw me, he asked, “Am I late?”
“Nope. I just wanted to see if I could help with anything.”
“I just need to finish packing our dinner, so come on in. But before you do, I just want to say one thing: it’s not a shrine.” I had no idea what that meant.
I followed him inside and looked around the clean but very modest room. The walls were covered in wood paneling, and the wall opposite the front door was lined with a mismatched assortment of bookshelves. Every other shelf was empty, and I realized that was because he’d given half of his books to me.
The rest of the furnishings consisted of a small table with a single chair, a mini refrigerator, an inexpensive keyboard, a twin bed, and a nightstand. The collection on the nightstand was probably what he’d been referring to. It included everything I’d given him during my vacation, aside from the food, obviously. The paper flower was displayed in a Mason jar vase, and it was positioned beside a tidy stack of paperbacks. The green plastic Easter egg and the toy car it had contained were on top of the books. He’d even kept the red and white twine from a bag that had held a muffin, and he’d tied it around the jar. That one was particularly touching.
Cassidy started to say something, but I pulled him down to my height and kissed him tenderly. Then I said, “It means a lot to me that you kept those things.”
“I was worried you’d think it was weird to have them at my bedside like that.”
“I think it’s romantic and sentimental.”
A loud whinny came from the door to the right, and Cassidy said, “Dia’s agitated. I took him for a long ride today to try to burn some of his energy, but he knows I changed my routine this evening and it’s throwing him off. I’d better check on him.”
Cassidy went through to the other side of the building. A tack room separated his apartment from a large stable. It smelled like leather and fresh hay.
Dia shifted back and forth behind a sturdy wooden gate, carving ruts in his straw bedding. Cassidy climbed up on the slats of the half-wall and rubbed the horse’s neck as he said, “Hi, beautiful boy. I know I changed things up on you, but I promise everything’s okay. You’re safe in here, and nothing’s going to hurt you.”
I hung back in the doorway and said, “He probably doesn’t like the fact that I’m in the building.” When the horse caught sight of me, he went perfectly still and watched me closely.
“Actually, I think he’s happier now that he sees what’s going on.”
He patted the horse’s shoulder and spoke to him in a low, soothing voice. Dia seemed considerably calmer, so after a few minutes Cassidy hopped off the fence and left the stable. As he closed the door behind him, I asked, “What would Beck do if your horse got agitated while you were out?”
“He’d call me, and I’d be back here in about five minutes. But there won’t be anything to stir up Dia once we’re gone. He’ll probably just go to sleep.”
I said, “You’re still going to worry about him, aren’t you?”
“I always worry about that horse. If he could learn to trust Beck, then I’d know there was someone else capable of looking after him.”
“This is just a thought, but if you learned to trust him, maybe Dia would, too. The horse could be picking up on your tension around Beck.”
“You might have a point.”
Once we returned to his room, Cassidy finished packing the picnic basket, and I indicated the keyboard and said, “I’d love to hear you play sometime. We could trade off. If you play for me, I’ll sing for you. It makes me really self-conscious to perform in front of people, and I bet it’s the same for you with your keyboard. But I’d do it for you.”
“I’ll take you up on that deal. Just don’t expect much, okay? That keyboard is on its last leg. I’d prefer to serenade you on a piano, but there isn’t one at the ranch.”
I followed him out the door, and as he loaded the basket into the trailer, I asked, “Did you take lessons as a kid?”
“Yeah. I started when I was ten, on the recommendation of a therapist who thought I needed a hobby. It was great advice. Both playing the piano and reading have been vitally important to me over the years, for the same reason.”
“They provide escape.”
“Exactly.” He draped a blanket over the items in the trailer bed, then handed me a helmet as he said, “We’re not going far, but I want you to be safe.”
“Where’s your helmet?”
“You’re holding it.”
“I want you to be safe, too.”
He took the helmet from my hands and put it on my head, and as he fastened the strap under my chin, he said, “Don’t worry about me. We’re going to be on the ATV for all of five minutes, and I’ll be driving slowly, because I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
He swung his leg over the seat, and I climbed on behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. The engine started with a low rumble, and he drove us up and around the dozen little guest houses to the crest of the hill. Then he headed onto a gravel road that was a bit overgrown on both sides. Since vegetation wasn’t particularly thick on this part of the island, I assumed it had all been landscaped, like the rest of the property. They’d used native plants for the most part, so it blended well into the natural environment, aside from the fact that it was a lot lusher than its surroundings.
We skirted the tallest hill on the property, and in just a couple of minutes a magical scene appeared before us. A flagstone patio had been built on the hilltop, with sweeping views of Avalon, the ocean, and the surrounding hills. From our vantage point, we could also see the ranch almost in its entirety, with the exception of Cassidy’s home and the smaller of the two corrals, which were blocked from view by the terrain. A graceful, trellised arch stood at the outer edge of the patio, framing the view, and to our left was a modern-looking cement fire pit, already loaded with wood and kindling.
Cassidy cut the engine and hopped off the ATV, and as I climbed off too and took off the helmet, he said, “I want to get the fire going right away, since that’s how I’m planning to cook our dinner.”
He crossed the patio and pulled some matches from his pocket, then lit the kindling in several places. While he did that, I started to unload the trailer. In addition to the picnic basket and a small cooler, it was piled with decorative pillows and blankets in red and gold. I recognized them as having come from the ranch’s storage closet, and when Cassidy joined me, I said, “It was nice of Beck to lend these to us.”
“It was. The picnic basket and cooler are actually ranch property, too. Beck told me to help myself to whatever I wanted when I told him I was taking you on a date. He seems to be pretty invested in things working out between you and me, for some reason.”
“That’s probably because he knows how isolated you’ve been, and because he’s a nice guy who cares about people, including you.”
He grinned a little. “Message received. I’ll try to be friendlier to him, although as soon as I give him an inch, he’s going to try to kill me with kindness. He’ll also forever be trying to include me in things. It took me years to train him out of that habit.”
“I actually get that,” I said. “Finn and Chance were always trying to include me in outings, parties, and all kinds of stuff. Most of the time, I just wanted to hide in a quiet corner and read. But I found if I said yes to one thing a week, it was enough to keep them happy.”
Cassidy scooped up an armload of blankets and pillows as he asked, “What about you? Did that make you happy?”
“Actually, it did. I’d dread the party or whatever ahead of time, but then I’d usually end up enjoying myself. For an hour or so, anyway. Then I’d sneak off somewhere and bust out a book. But I made some good memories in those brief forays into the land of extroverts.”
I gathered up the rest of the pillows and followed him, and he said, “You’re a lot more outgoing than I am. But then, so is everybody else in the world.” He spread out the thickest blanket under the arch and topped it with two large floor pillows.
As I added my armload of throw pillows to the arrangement, I said, “This place is absolutely magical. What’s the story behind it?”
“Not a good one, unfortunately. Ren and Simon built it so they could get married up here, but they broke up before that happened.”
“That’s so sad.” I indicated a barely-visible roof, tucked away in the landscaping to the right of the main buildings, and asked, “Is that Ren’s house?”
“It is.” Cassidy turned away from the view and said, “Make yourself comfortable while I get a couple of things organized.”
I settled into the nest of pillows and wrapped a throw blanket around my shoulders, since the breeze was a bit brisk. Meanwhile, Cassidy retrieved the cooler and picnic basket and brought them over to me. “Disclaimer,” he said. “I don’t know how to be fancy, and I’ve never been on a date before. So, if this all seems clumsy and awkward, I apologize, and I’ll try harder next time. Assuming you actually want to go out with me again after I totally botch this.”
When he sat down beside me, I said, “This is already perfect, and you can’t possibly mess it up.”
As he unpacked a few things from the picnic basket, he said, “I hope you’re right.” He lifted the lid on a box of flaky pastries and said, “I took some help from the bakery, because I’m not much of a cook. I was surprised they actually had borek this morning.”
“I’ve never heard of that.”
“It’s phyllo dough with a savory filling, cheese in this case. It’s Turkish in origin, but it’s popular in Croatia, too, which is where my father was born. Before his mother died, she’d send us care packages with baked goods, and this was one of my favorites.” We each picked up a wedge and took a bite. The dough was crisp, and the cheese inside was tangy and slightly salty. Cassidy said, “Hers tasted a bit different. I think this one is made with feta. Do you like it?”
“It’s delicious, and I’m sorry to hear you lost your grandmother.”
“Thanks. She meant a lot to me.”
I asked, “Did you ever get to visit her?”
“Once. We spent Christmas with her in Zagreb when I was seven. It was like something out of a fairytale. Years later, I was sure I had to be misremembering it, so I looked at photos online. It really was as gorgeous and festive as I remembered it.”
“Do you have any other family members back in Croatia?”
He shook his head. “I only have one living relative, my uncle Pete who owns the horse ranch I told you about. He and my father emigrated from Croatia together when they were in their early twenties.” I wanted to ask more questions about his family, but he’d already said a lot, so I thought it was best not to push it.
After we finished the appetizer, he took two slender champagne flutes from the picnic basket, and I said, “For the record, this looks fancy.”
He grinned at me, then asked, “What’s your opinion on raspberries?”
“Love ‘em.”
“Okay, good.”
He dropped a few berries in the bottom of each glass, then added some fruit juice and finished them off with a dash of sparkling water. When he handed me my drink, I took a sip and told him, “This is wonderful.”
He looked worried. “Really? I don’t drink, so I had to get creative.”
“It’s delicious.” I finished my drink, then set the glass aside and slid closer to him. As I draped the blanket around both of us, I said, “Thank you for making this date so special.”
“I’m trying. I wanted everything to be perfect for you.”
Cassidy put down his glass and ran his fingertips along my cheekbone. As the setting sun turned the world to gold around us, I studied the curve of his lips, the pattern of his freckles, and the half dozen shades of brown that made up his eye color, while he watched me just as intently. “I’ve never seen eyes like yours,” he said. “They’re the color of the sky at twilight.”
“That’s so romantic.”
He grinned shyly. “Is it? I was just trying to think of a way to describe that unique shade of deep blue.”
“Most people just assume my eyes are brown because they’re so dark.”
“Then they’re not paying attention.”
I leaned in and kissed him, and then I rested my forehead against his and said, “I never knew I could feel like this.”
“How do you feel?”
“Happy and at peace. I’m not used to feeling like that.”
We kissed again, and then he began stroking my hair almost absently as we looked out over that panoramic view. The sky was transitioning from orange to purple, and in the distance, lights were coming on all over Avalon. I murmured, “It’s so beautiful that it feels like a dream.”
Cassidy kissed the top of my head, and after a while, he said, “Tell me something about you, Elijah.”
“Like what?”
“Anything at all. I want to know everything about you.” He thought about that for a moment, then said, “But that’s unfair, since there’s so much I can’t talk about.”
I brushed his hair out of his eyes and met his gaze. “I don’t expect you to be in exactly the same place as me, in terms of what you’re willing to talk about. As far as I’m concerned, it’s perfectly fine to ask me questions without offering up your entire life story in return.”
“Thanks for being so understanding,” he said. “And if you really don’t mind talking about yourself, I’d love to hear about the math prodigy part of you, because that’s so far outside the realm of anything I’ve ever experienced.”
“The first time I knew I was different was when I was seven. One of my brothers, who was ten at the time, had to memorize the multiplication tables up to twelve for school, and he was really struggling. He left the chart on the kitchen table, and I took a look at it out of curiosity. Within minutes, I was able to recite the whole thing. That’s not because I have a great memory. It’s actually pretty average. But the reason I learned it so easily was because the patterns jumped out at me.”
“Patterns?”
I said, “That’s all the multiplication tables are, one big pattern. You know how most people can count by twos and fives? I found I could do that with every number. And once I saw the pattern, I didn’t have to count to find the answer. It all just fell into place for me.”
“It took me forever to memorize those tables.”
“That’s because trying to learn anything by rote memorization is tedious, and it doesn’t engage the student.”
Cassidy asked, “So, was that when they figured out you were a genius?”
“I’m not a genius, I’m just a person with a unique ability. But no, that’s not when they found out I was different. I made the mistake of trying to help my brother learn those multiplication tables. At that age, I had no idea most people couldn’t see the patterns the way I did, and when I tried to explain it to him, he got really angry and defensive. He told me I was a brat and said I was trying to show off and make him feel stupid. Then he pushed me so hard that I fell over a kitchen chair and sprained my wrist.”
I continued, “The message I got loud and clear was that I was a freak, and my abilities would make me stand out and get picked on. So, I tried to hide it. I always knew every answer on my math tests, but for the next few years, I started missing some on purpose to try to blend in with my classmates. A teacher finally caught on and had me tested, and I purposely missed one question in each section. I had no idea that the tests were meant for college-level students, and my scores, even with my very obvious attempt to get some wrong, were off the charts.”
“Did it all come down to patterns?”
“That was one aspect of it. To reach the solution to any math problem, you just need to identify the steps and solve them in a certain order, and I was good at that, too. I was able to run through complex equations and work out the solution in my mind, and then I’d go back and write down the steps that got me there. I guess I can compare it to being able to envision a completed jigsaw puzzle, just by looking at a few scattered pieces.”
Cassidy said, “It must be nice to be great at something.”
“It was useful when it got me a full scholarship to a good college, but that’s about the only positive thing I can say about it. The people in my hick town had no idea what to make of a so-called math prodigy, so they just added it to the list of things that made me a freak. That included my own parents, by the way. They acted like I excelled at math just to show them up. I don’t know how many times I heard,” I pulled up a thick southern accent and imitated my father’s deep voice, “you think yer better’n us, you little shit? You think yer special? Well, you ain’t. Yer nothin’ and that’s all you’ll ever be.”
He gathered me into his arms, and as I rested my head on his chest, he said, “I’m so glad you got out of there.”
“I should have planned my escape better, but everything worked out in the end.”
“Thanks to Colt.”
“He definitely helped. Chance and Finn did too, and so did the friends I made over the last few years, despite my shyness.”
“When you first came here,” he said, “you weren’t shy at all. Even though I tried my best to put up my industrial-grade walls and wouldn’t even speak to you at first, you kept coming around and trying to be my friend.”
“When there’s something I really want, I go after it. Three examples come to mind. The first is when I decided to leave Mississippi. Next is when I managed to complete my bachelor’s degree, despite being fairly miserable in college. The third is when a beautiful man on a wild, black horse rode into my life and I decided I was going to get to know him, no matter what. A person can be both driven and introverted. They’re not mutually exclusive.”
He asked, “So, what’s next? Graduate school? A career at NASA?”
“That’s what my professors and counselors were pushing for when I was in college. I don’t know how many times I was told that I couldn’t ‘waste my gift,’ or that I had an ‘obligation’ to continue my education. The more I heard that, the more I started to resent not only my abilities, but the people trying to decide my future for me. Shouldn’t I get to choose my path, just like everyone else? I don’t want to sound ungrateful for the education I received. That really was an incredible opportunity, and one I’ll always be thankful for. But comping the cost of my tuition didn’t buy anyone the right to dictate my choices, because my future was never for sale.”
“Well said.”
I slid my arms around him and asked, “Did that tell you what you wanted to know?”
“It did. Thanks for explaining it. It also confirmed what I already knew, which is that you’re a force of nature.”
That made me chuckle, and I asked, “In what sense?”
“You’re unstoppable. When you want something, you get it, even if it’s a guy who’d decided a long time ago that he’d be spending his life alone.”
“You didn’t really decide that, did you?”
“I absolutely did.” Cassidy held me tighter as he murmured, “I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing this has been, and how totally unexpected. Even just feeling comfortable enough with another person to do what we’re doing right now is something I never thought I’d be capable of.”
I smiled at him and said, “I’m so glad you were wrong about that.”
Cassidy kissed my forehead, and then he got up and said, “I’ll be right back. I want to start cooking our dinner.”
“Can I help?”
“No thanks. It’s all ready to go.”
He removed a few foil packets from the cooler and placed them on the coals at the edge of the fire. Then he crossed the patio to a control panel hidden in the overgrown landscaping and flipped a switch. A ring of soft, low lights came on all around the edge of the patio, and the trellised arch over our makeshift bed lit up with a hundred tiny white lights, which had been built into the structure. It was so beautiful.
When he returned to me, he said, “That should take about half an hour. If you’re hungry, there are some other types of appetizers.”
“I’d love to try them, but in a few minutes. There’s something I’d like to do first.”
I pulled my phone from my pocket, and he guessed, “Make a call?”
“Nope.” As Ella Fitzgerald’s Someone to Watch Over Me began to play, I placed the phone on the pillows and took Cassidy’s hand. “I want to finish our dance from the other day.”
He let me lead him to the center of the patio and draped his arms over my shoulders as he said, “You have surprising taste in music.”
“It’s actually very eclectic. This part is thanks to my grandmother. I used to spend a lot of time at her house, and she always had music playing. I like modern stuff too, but when I want something sweet and sentimental, you can't beat this era.”
Cassidy took my hand in his and slid his other hand around my waist, and we went from our prom shuffle-step to trying to dance like the couples in those old films. We were less than graceful, but we enjoyed ourselves anyway. A simple box step had us bouncing off each other. Then we attempted a few twirls, and Cassidy went for the big finish of a dramatic dip. It almost worked, until his weight shifted and we tumbled onto the stone patio.
Both of us burst out laughing, and we rolled onto our backs and joined hands. “I don’t think we’re quite ready to take the ballroom dancing world by storm,” he said.
“Their loss.”
We stared up at the darkening sky, and after a moment, Cassidy murmured, “That’s it.” I glanced at his profile, and he explained, “Right now, the sky is the same shade of deep blue as your eyes.” That made me smile.
When dinner was ready, Cassidy plated the packets of red potatoes, roasted carrots, and salmon on some nice stoneware dishes. The food was wonderful, and he seemed pleased when I praised his cooking. For dessert, he’d brought us a pair of red velvet cupcakes from the bakery. He’d also packed a thermos of hot tea, and after we finished eating, we snuggled together with the blanket wrapped around us and gingerly took sips from our steaming mugs as we stargazed and tried to name as many constellations as we could.
After a while, I put my head on his shoulder and asked, “Will you go out with me again?”
“Of course.”
“I’ll plan the next one, but I don’t know how I’ll ever come close to this. It was perfection. Thank you again for everything you did to make tonight special, Cassidy.”
“I’m glad you liked it.” The breeze started to get stronger, and as some clouds rolled in over the ocean, he said, “I guess we should think about heading back. It looks like it might rain.”
I helped him pack up the trailer, and after he made sure the fire was out, we climbed back on the ATV for the short ride home. When we pulled up next to his apartment, I took off the helmet and handed it to him, and then I grabbed an armload of pillows and carried them inside. He followed me with the cooler and picnic basket, and in less than a minute, we had the trailer emptied.
About a minute after that, the first raindrops began to fall, and Cassidy murmured, “That blew in fast.” He leaned over the table and looked out the window, and then he told me, “I can lend you a jacket if you want to go back to your room. I think it’s going to get pretty stormy, given the way the wind is picking up.”
I took a stab at being flirtatious and asked, “Is not going back to my room an option?”
He turned to me and smiled. “You’re always welcome here. It’s a bit cramped, but on a positive note, it’ll take us weeks to run out of reading material.”
“Instead of busting out the books, can I make a request?”
“Anything.”
“Play for me.” I walked over to the keyboard and rested my hand on it.
The color rose in his cheeks. “Oh. Um, sure. I can do that. Just don’t expect too much. The last person who heard me play was my music teacher in junior high.” He brought over the only chair, sat down in front of the keyboard, and turned it on. As he unplugged a pair of headphones, he added, “I’ve never played this keyboard without wearing these. I don’t even know what it sounds like out loud.”
When he experimentally picked out a tune, the clacking of the plastic keys made him grimace. He handed me the headphones and plugged them back in, and as I put them on, I asked, “Will you be able to play if you can’t hear yourself?”
“Let’s find out. If I totally mess this up, then the answer is no.”
He exhaled slowly, and then he began to play. He’d chosen Perfect by Ed Sheeran, and it sounded absolutely amazing. When he finished playing and turned to me with uncertainty in his eyes, I hung the headphones around my neck and exclaimed, “That was wonderful!”
A little smile curved one side of his mouth. “Do you really think it was okay?”
“Okay? No. It wasn’t okay, it was brilliant!”
“You can tell me the truth,” he said. “My ego can take it.”
“I am. You’re fantastic.”
He fidgeted with the edge of the keyboard and said, “Thanks. I guess those thousands of hours of practice paid off.”
“Definitely.”
“I just wish I could have played it for you on a piano. This secondhand keyboard is better than nothing, but not by much.”
“Well, I still loved it. I’d like to return the favor, a song for a song. That is, if you want to hear me sing.”
“Absolutely.”
After weighing my options for a few moments, I glanced at Cassidy and smiled self-consciously, and then I closed my eyes and sang In My Blood by Sean Mendes, because I figured it would lend itself well to being performed a cappella. I kept them closed until I finished the song. When I looked at him again, he was staring at me with wonder, and he whispered, “Wow.”
I took his hand and said, “I have a new goal: finding a piano somewhere, so you and I can make music together.”
“I’m fine with that, as long as it’s somewhere without any people.”
“Okay. An isolated piano. I’m on it.”
He grinned at me, and then he said, “Want to move to the bed? That’s not a sleazy come-on. That and this chair are the only places to sit in here.”
“Sure.”
We both kicked off our sneakers before stretching out on top of the covers, facing each other. The rain was starting to pick up, and the steady patter on the roof was soothing. We chatted about music for a while, until Gerald jumped onto the bed and startled us. I asked the cat, “Where did you come from?”
“He has a litter box and food and water in the tack room, along with a cat door to come and go as he pleases. I think he plays on the sympathy of everyone he meets, then takes his pick of all the food left for him throughout the ranch.” Cassidy scratched the cat’s ears, and Gerald kneaded the dark blue comforter before curling up between us.
It was getting late, so I asked, “Should I go so you can get some sleep?”
“No, because that means this date will be over.”
“True, but I’m already planning the next one. Ideally, it’ll include a piano in the middle of the wilderness.”
He took my hand and asked, “Will you sleep here tonight? It’s raining, and dark, and I’m looking for excuses to get you to stay.”
“Are you sure?”
“Definitely. Apologies in advance if I have another nightmare. The good news is, I’m already home, so I won’t run off.” He’d been trying to make light of it, but then he said, “If you don’t want to try again after last night, I totally understand. I can find you a coat and walk you back to your room.”
I held his hand in both of mine and said, “I’m right where I want to be.”