There was a bunch of carnations on the doorstep, the stems wrapped in garish pink tissue paper, a card poking out from the folds.
Sorry I was grumpy last week. Peace offering? J.
Eve smiled as she took the flowers inside and hunted in the kitchen cupboard for a vase. She’d been feeling guilty about Jake’s unsuccessful attempts to tame her wild garden, but hadn’t known what to do about it. She’d gone to Homebase to buy a replacement cord for the strimmer, but the trip had revealed they came in numerous different sizes, colours and shapes, and she stood for ages in front of the relevant shelf, with no idea which was the right one.
She’d been working up the courage to go and see him, but the whole thing felt awkward so she hadn’t got round to it. Instead, she’d spent the last few days working her way through the remains of the lemon drizzle cake and sneaking in and out of the house, keeping her eyes firmly averted from next door.
Thank God he’d made the first move.
‘Sorry.’ He grinned as he answered her knock at his front door. ‘I behaved like a stroppy teenager.’
‘It’s fine.’ She smiled back. ‘You were only trying to do me a favour. And I’m sorry my grass broke your strimmer. Can I pay for that?’
‘No, you can’t,’ he said. ‘But you can come in and have a cup of tea.’
Eve had never been inside his house before. They’d only chatted over the fence or called out pleasantries as one or other of them rushed off to work. The layout was, unsurprisingly, exactly the same as in her own house, with a sitting room off to the right and the kitchen at the back, running the width of the house. Jake’s bike was balanced against one wall just inside the front door, and she caught her shin on the pedal as she followed him along the hall towards the kitchen.
She peered up the stairs as she went past: the walls were an insipid peach, the carpet a dull burgundy. She preferred her own décor, even though the magnolia walls and cream carpet in her home were now covered in the sort of spills, stains and sticky fingerprints that can only be created by a small child on a mission to destroy all domesticity.
She was relieved to see Jake’s kitchen was as messy as her own. Most of the cupboard doors were open and a tea-towel was on the floor, along with a patina of muddy footprints that suggested this wasn’t a ‘shoes off’ household.
‘I don’t know what got into me,’ he was saying now, as he filled the kettle. ‘I’m not usually so impatient. But I really wanted to help you out and I guess I was embarrassed I’d made a mess of it.’
‘Jake, you didn’t. It was kind of you to offer to help,’ she said. ‘It’s my fault for leaving things so long. I never seem to have the time to keep the garden under control, so every now and then I do a little bit, but it all grows back again and runs away with me. Ben was the one who loved gardening…’
She faltered, embarrassed. Did Jake even know what had happened between her and Ben? When they were still living next door together, they’d never shouted at each other in a way that would have attracted the neighbours’ attention; instead, their relationship had worn itself out in a welter of frosty silences and cold-shouldered reproaches. But Ben hadn’t lived here for years now, and Jake couldn’t have failed to notice the twice-weekly visits to pick up and drop off Daniel.
Ben. Occasionally, over the last couple of days, she had gone for an entire hour without thinking about the conversation they’d had, especially at work when her mind was on so much else. But then something would remind her, and she’d start to go over the whole bloody mess again.
At first, she’d told herself Ben wasn’t serious about the job in Glasgow. Why would he uproot his family and make such a dramatic move? He and Lou were settled in Bristol; they must have good friends here, a great quality of life. But, deep down, she knew it was entirely believable: he loved Scotland, and the appeal of being back there was strong enough on its own, even without the added attraction of a promotion, an entire office to manage and a big salary hike.
But how could he possibly imagine she would be happy for him to take Daniel with him? After he’d driven away on Saturday, she had gone back inside the house, shaking, the shock of what he’d suggested causing her head to thump and nausea to build up inside her throat. He couldn’t take away her baby boy. He just couldn’t. She’d gone upstairs and lain down on Daniel’s unmade bed, howling into the Spider-Man pillowcase.
Hours later, her cheeks still sticky with tears, she had dug out some folders and gone through all the legal papers they’d signed when they separated: the agreements about maintenance and custody. Daniel had stayed with her because they’d both been happy for that to happen – Ben hadn’t wanted his son living with him at the time. And she’d done a good job of raising him – almost single-handed at first – there was no way Ben could disagree with that. Granted, he’d played a bigger part in Daniel’s life over the last few years, but Eve was still his mother, his main carer. She would stop this from happening; she would refuse to even discuss it. Bloody Ben could take a running jump.
But the initial bravado died away swiftly and after that she hadn’t been able to stop going over it all in her mind: what if Ben refused to back down about taking Daniel to Glasgow? What if he took her to court? He was a good father and he had rights. If he challenged her over custody, whose side would a judge take?
Standing here now, in Jake’s kitchen, she felt her pulse race as Ben’s words flickered through her head again. Jake was looking at her, waiting for her to finish her sentence as the kettle bubbled beside him.
‘Anyway, now I’m on my own with Daniel,’ she continued. ‘I’m afraid the garden comes way down my list of priorities.’
He smiled as he flung teabags into a couple of mugs. ‘Same here,’ he said. ‘Life’s too busy.’
They both turned at the sound of the front door opening and slamming so hard that the pictures rattled on the walls.
‘Hi Katie!’ called Jake.
There was no reply, but footsteps stomped up the stairs and, after a moment’s pause, a door on the landing was slammed shut.
‘Oh dear,’ he said. ‘That will either be the boyfriend who’s in trouble, or me. I really hope it’s him. Let’s take these mugs next door and hide in the sitting room.’
The curtains were still drawn from the night before and, as Jake pushed them open, she saw an empty beer bottle, an open newspaper and a used bowl and plate on the coffee table.
‘Sorry,’ he said, scooping it all up. ‘I’ve got into bad habits. With Katie hardly ever here, it feels like I’m living on my own. It means I can be a slob and don’t have to bother clearing up. But that’s not the way to impress a woman.’
Eve wasn’t sure how she was meant to react. Did he want to impress her? She perched on the edge of the sofa, resting her mug on her knees. She wished she hadn’t come in now. What were they going to talk about? She hardly knew this man and, although he was nice enough, they probably had nothing in common; it felt like she was intruding.
‘What do you think of these curtains?’ he was asking. ‘I’ve had them up for years and was wondering if it was time to replace them. But I struggle with things like this, because I’m colour-blind.’
‘Really?’
‘Yup, I can’t distinguish between greens and browns. Purples and blues can be a bugger as well. So, it’s not safe to let me out alone to shop for soft furnishings.’
Eve almost laughed: this probably explained his bizarre clothing sense! Today Jake was wearing a faded red shirt and a pair of purple tracksuit bottoms which were too small for him and ended way above his ankles, exposing a couple of inches of skin and mismatched socks – one black, the other green. Colour-blindness couldn’t excuse the Tena Lady T-shirt, but it went a long way towards accounting for everything else.
‘So, how does that work?’ She was fascinated. ‘Do all those colours look the same to you, or are they just different shades of grey?’
‘It’s hard to explain,’ said Jake. ‘I’ve never known anything else. But what usually…’
The sitting-room door burst open and Katie marched into the room. ‘Oh,’ she said, seeing Eve. ‘What are you doing here?’
‘What she means is, hello Eve, how lovely to see you,’ said Jake.
Katie glared at him. The weak shafts of sunlight coming in through the windows picked out the dark blonde highlights in her hair and, standing there with her hands on her hips and chin jutting out, she looked just like her father.
‘We haven’t got any batteries,’ she said.
‘Really? Well, you might have to go and buy some from the corner shop. My wallet’s in the kitchen, take some money.’
‘For God’s sake, why do we never have the right stuff in this house!’ The girl huffed and turned on her heel, slamming the door behind her with practised efficiency.
‘Sorry,’ said Jake. ‘She’s not exactly a little ray of sunshine at the moment. The teenage years are hard work. I’m hoping this phase will pass and I’ll get my daughter back by the time she’s eighteen. In the meantime, a stroppy, hormonal alien has taken possession of her body.’
Eve laughed. It would be rude to agree with him, but this was one bolshie girl. It was impressive Jake was being so laid-back about her behaviour: if it was up to her, she’d stand up to Katie and tell her not to be selfish and rude. She hoped Daniel wouldn’t turn into the kind of sixteen-year-old who answered back and slammed doors so hard they threatened to come off their hinges. Mind you, if he did, he might be living hundreds of miles away from her: by that stage, it would be Lou’s job to cope with his mood swings and irrational tantrums.
Before she could help herself, a sob fought its way up through her throat and, as she tried to choke it back, another followed too swiftly. Suddenly her eyes were full of tears and her hands were shaking so badly she had to put the mug of tea down on the carpet at her feet. ‘Sorry,’ she whispered, burying her face in her hands.
She felt the sofa cushion move beside her and an arm went across her shoulders. ‘Hey, what’s the matter?’ asked Jake. ‘Tell me what’s happened?’
As she leant against him, she stopped fighting the sobs, opened her mouth and howled.