I never knew I was a violent person until tonight. Is it okay to be both proud and horrified? You don’t have to answer that, Diary, but I think it’s fair to say I’m a disaster.
Yours truly, Mira Hart
When we get to the house, Chad follows me to the door and steps inside. I turn around and put a hand on his chest, wanting to push him right back out the door. He doesn’t get the hint. He walks me into the wall and kisses me. I dodge under his arms and put my hands on my hips.
“I’m not feeling it tonight, Chad. Sorry. I’m…just not.”
“We have the house to ourselves!” He glares at me.
“I don’t care! I didn’t leave the party to come have sex in my mum’s house!” I lean against the back of the couch, suddenly exhausted.
“Why did we leave then? We haven’t been together in weeks, and the last time was trying to be quick before Maddie got back to the dorm. What’s going on, Mira?” he asks.
I look out the window as images of Jaxson float through my mind. Us running through the woods as kids. Dreaming up new adventures every day. The smile he’d get when I tried to sing and sounded so terrible. The way he took care of me every time I was sick, even more than my mum did.
The last few years I’ve only been able to think about the negative. The horrible way things turned upside down with us.
But tonight…seeing him again…I can’t seem to stop thinking about all the good. There was so much good.
I shake my head and try to clear Jaxson out. I can’t afford to get sentimental now. He wrecked me, and there is no way I’m going to allow him to do it again.
“It’s nothing big. I’m tired. Not feeling too well. Let’s talk tomorrow, okay?”
Chad walks over and puts his arms around me.
“Okay. But I want to spend time with you this summer. I’m tired of the long-distance thing.”
I roll my eyes. “I’ve been twenty minutes away, Chad. Hardly qualifies as long distance.”
“You know what I mean. You’re finally home for the summer. I’m tired of missing you when you’re not right here.” He puts his hands on my bum and pulls me in tighter. “I don’t want to have to miss you when you are here too.”
I think this is the most Chad has ever said in one conversation.
“I hear you—we’ve been busy with work and school. But it’s going to be a great summer,” I tell him.
And I try to really mean it.

Chad is gone five minutes, tops, when my phone starts blowing up. Unknown number.
Did you really have to leave?
I’ve wanted to see you for so long. A few minutes wasn’t enough.
You took my breath away, Bells.
Remember that time we nearly set my mum’s kitchen on fire baking cookies? The way my heart pounded that day…that’s how it felt tonight when I saw you.
Bells?
Me: Jaxson?
Yep, it’s me.
Me: Lose my number.
C’mon. How long can this go on?
Something taps my window. It happens again. And again. No way.
I look out and Jaxson is in the tree outside my window. He gives a cheeky grin when he sees me.
I groan and open the window. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Let me in,” he says.
“No.”
He looks over his shoulder. “I’d forgotten what a view you have up here.” He lifts an eyebrow. “I can stay out here all night, you know.”
I stand back and hold out my hand, giving him permission to climb inside. I know he’s stubborn enough to stay out there all night and bug me. It wouldn’t be the first time.
Once he stumbles inside, he looks me over and lifts both eyebrows. “This outfit is even better.”
I suddenly feel self-conscious in my tank and short shorts. I try to pull the shorts down a little, but it’s hopeless.
His green eyes are all lit up, making it hard to look away. His dimple is out in full force, and I think for probably the zillionth time in my life that Jaxson is the most gorgeous guy I’ve ever seen.
I force myself to stop staring at him and sit on my bed. Determined to not let him get to me, I lean against the headboard and pick up a book. He sits beside me and puts his chin on my shoulder. I jump up and he falls over.
“Why now, Jaxson? You’re acting as if no time has passed at all! You don’t get to march in here and act like…like everything is just as it was!” I’m pacing and waving my arms around like a crazy person. “It isn’t. We’re not friends anymore. You don’t know me anymore. I don’t know you. Our friendship,” I point back and forth between us, “was a very long time ago and it’s over now. Nothing is the same, Jaxson. Nothing.” My voice warbles at the end and I look at the ceiling, willing my eyes to stop watering.
He stands up and puts his hand on my arm, stopping me in my tracks. “Mirabelle,” he says softly, “it’s still you and me and it always will be. You can’t just forget all that we mean to one another.”
“You did,” I whisper.
“Never. I never forgot, I promise you that.”
He pulls me closer, brushing his fingers against my shoulder. I shiver and then get embarrassed that he’s able to see how much he affects me. His eyes are locked on mine, pulling me in. His hands clutch either side of my face and he moves closer. My eyes shut just as his lips touch mine.
For a minute, I lose myself in him. He groans and deepens the kiss. I grab his hair and kiss him the way I’ve dreamed of kissing him for so long. It feels even better than I remembered. His soft lips and tongue make my heart fall into my feet. I haven’t kissed him like this since…
————
The brakes screech for me. I pull away and punch him in the face.