Finally something in my life worth writing about: I’m going to be famous.
Sincerely, THE Blue-Eyed Shadow
Jaxson pulls away, holding his nose. “What the bloody hell?” he yells. He’s nearly lost all of his accent, but when he says that, he almost sounds like we used to. Blood gushes out of his nose and onto the floor. “I think you broke my nose.”
“You’re fine. It’s just a little blood.” I grab a towel from the bathroom and hold it up to his nose. “You had it coming.”
I scowl at him while putting pressure on the towel and then nearly bite a hole in my lip. When it seems the bleeding is letting up, I sit back down on the bed.
“I’m sorry I hit you, okay?” I mumble. “I shouldn’t have done that. You just…you need to leave.” I glance at him and then walk to the window. “I’ve changed, Jaxson. I’m not the little gullible fool I was growing up. I’m not the girl you can just use whenever someone else isn’t available.”
I feel his hand on my back and close my eyes. Every time he touches me, my skin jumps to attention. His breath is hot against my neck.
“I know I’ve made mistakes, Bells,” he leans close and whispers in my ear, “but you were never one of them. Every moment we were together, I knew I was right where I was supposed to be. It’s all the time apart that has been hell.” He tugs on my arm and gently turns me around. “I’ve changed too. I know I messed up. Please let me back in. Give me another chance. We made promises to each other—remember?”
He lifts my chin and tries to get me to look at him, but I don’t.
“You are the best friend I’ve ever had, Mirabelle. Ever. I know a lot of time has passed, but…my heart is still yours. We have things to do.” He laughs. “Come on, look at me!”
I finally do and he smiles the cheesiest grin and shakes my shoulders. “We have a list we still need to check off! And you’re not getting out of it.” He quickly kisses my cheek and climbs out the window before I can even digest what just happened.
I watch him jump out of the tree once he gets low enough. I put my elbows on the windowsill and lean out. “I don’t know when you think you gave your heart to me, Jaxson. I must have missed that.”
He looks up and puts his hands on his hips. “Looks like I’m going to have to remind you that you love me.”
“That was never in question,” I mutter under my breath. Thankfully, he doesn’t hear. What I say loud enough for him to hear is: “Forget the list. There’s no way I’m having your babies.”
He shrugs. “I’m up for the challenge. Tell Channing to watch his back.”
“It’s Chad, and you know it.”
“Whatever.”
I slam my window down before either of us can say another word. And then I pace.
I’ve never doubted that Jaxson probably regretted not having a friend like me anymore, but I thought the “Will Jaxson and Mira be a couple” question had been put to rest long ago. We shut that door, and I can’t believe he’d try to reopen it.
Over the next few days, I hide out in my room. I blame exhaustion when my mum tries to get me out of the house. I tell Chad I need to spend time with my mum. And I try to pretend Jaxson doesn’t exist.
He texts for three days and I ignore every single one. The last text is a picture of us photoshopped, swimming with dolphins. It makes me laugh, but I quickly get a little twinge in my gut. I stare at Jaxson’s face in the picture for the longest time and wonder if it will ever stop hurting to look at him.
Maddie drives over from Santa Barbara for the weekend. We catch up quickly, talking about everything and nothing. My mum comes in while we’re getting dressed to go out.
“Looks like it took Maddie coming to get you out of the house,” Mum says with a smirk.
I bite my tongue. I just don’t want to talk with her about Jaxson and that’s all she wants to talk about. Later, Maddie and I meet up with Chad and his friends, Chance and Bobby, at Beaumont’s. It’s one of our favorite places—good food, live music. As we’re looking at the dessert menu, the band comes out and starts tuning their instruments. I hear it in the background but don’t pay attention until they start playing.
“Who is this?” Maddie asks. “They’re amazing!”
“I love that guy’s voice,” I say and turn around to see who it is.
My breath catches in my throat. Jaxson is standing in front of a band, singing his heart out. I’ve heard him sing before, but never like this. The other guys in the band are singing now too, but Jaxson is the only one I see.
Chad mutters something, but I can’t even pretend to be interested. In fact, when the guys try to get us to leave and go to a movie, I tell them to all go without me. Maddie holds onto my arm.
“I wanna stay with Mira,” she says. “Maybe we can catch up with you guys later.”
Chad glares at me before stalking off.
“Somebody’s not happy.” Maddie laughs. “Are you and Chad fighting?”
I shrug. “We haven’t been. He’s annoying me right now though,” I admit. I lean over and yell in her ear, since the music is getting louder. “That guy singing … remember me telling you about Jaxson?”
She nods.
“That’s him.”
Her mouth drops and she looks between Jaxson and me with huge eyes.
“No wonder Chad is annoying you.” She lifts an eyebrow. And then she mouths: “Oh my god!”
I roll my eyes. “No. I know. I mean, I don’t know. I-I just can’t let him see me here, but I want to stay and listen. It’s been so long since I’ve heard him and he never sounded quite like this. He’s been texting me nonstop since his party the other night, and I—”
“Wait, hold up. You’ve talked to him?”
I nod and put my finger up to my lips, shushing her. She puts her hands on her hips and I laugh. I know I’ll have to fess up soon enough, but for now, I just want to stare at my beautiful boy who is now a stranger.
A few songs later, I know the moment he sees me. He smiles a heart-stopping smile and doesn’t look away. Between songs, he says something to one of the guys, straps on an acoustic guitar, and sits on a stool. The other guys step back and listen as Jaxson plays.
His eyes find mine once again and Maddie squeezes my arm.
“He’s completely into you!” she squeals.
I swat her hand away and listen to every word Jaxson sings.
I can’t believe I let you walk away
I didn’t know you meant forever
We spent a lifetime chasing firefly dreams
Now it seems you have forgotten
Blue-eyed shadow
Black-haired beauty
Remember me
Come home
Blue-eyed shadow
Black-haired beauty
Remember me
Come home
I took a detour along the way
I didn’t know what I had until you were gone
All the promises and memories
Now it’s up to me to remind you
Blue-eyed shadow
Black-haired beauty
Remember me
Come home
Blue-eyed shadow
Black-haired beauty
Remember me
Come home
When he’s done, he stares at me before giving the guitar back to his friend. A tear runs down my cheek and I turn away. Maddie puts her arm around me and we walk out.
“Mira! I didn’t realize,” she says. “The two of you…”
I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter. He didn’t mean it.”