You never write me back, but I feel like you have more to say than Jaxson’s measly letters. Give me some meat to those bones, boy! UGH. I guess you’ll have to do, Diary. Sigh.
Love, Mira
The night before Jaxson moved, we lay on the floor in his room, looking at the ceiling and not saying much. We’d spent the day together packing up his room and moping. We took a brief time-out to ride our bikes to our favorite chippy place then came back full and lethargic.
“I already know I’ll hate it there without you,” he muttered. His head turned toward me and I kept my eyes on the ceiling, afraid I’d cry.
“We’ve always wanted to go to America. You’re going to love it there and forget all about me,” my voice trailed off.
Jaxson’s hand found mine and he squeezed it. “Stop with the crazy talk, Bells. Like I’d ever forget you. I’m gonna write every day,” he promised.
At nearly twelve and thirteen, we were about the same height, which annoyed Jaxson daily. We measured once a week to prove he was getting taller—his idea—but he was as lanky and short as ever. I was glad—my boobs hadn’t come in yet either. He already had a year on me, so in most everything else I was usually behind. At least in this, we were both playing catch-up. He motioned to the wall of our measurements and said, “Maybe I’ll have finally passed you by the next time I see you.”
I didn’t dare comment. Stupid baby tears still clogged my throat and I didn’t know when or even if I’d ever see him again. He hated when I talked like that, so I’d stopped saying it. Our mums would make sure we saw each other, he always said. But I wasn’t so sure. My dad’s job had been unpredictable for a while and we had to live a lot tighter than Jaxson’s family. I heard my mum call my dad a skinflint at least weekly and would try to hide after that because it set off one of his rants every time.
“I’ve already got some saved.” Jaxson propped his head on his elbow and turned my chin to face him. “I’ll get a job when I get there…find a way to make some money. Don’t worry.”
He could usually tell what I was thinking without me saying a word. I wondered if that would change when we lived an entire world away from one another.
“Come here.” He pulled my hand and we stood up. He opened his laptop and typed in my address and his new address in La Jolla, California. When the directions came up, he tapped the screen. “Look at that,” he said, his arm looping over my shoulder. “Only 5,331 miles…that’s not so bad. It would really suck if you lived in Sydney, Australia. Look…” He typed Sydney where Holmes Chapel had been and 7,506 miles came up. “See?”
I couldn’t hold it in any longer. A sob burst out and I covered my mouth with both hands. I looked at him in panic and ran out of the room. I made it to the front door and made it a few feet down the sidewalk before he caught up.
Neither of us said a word as we ran to my house. When I reached my steps, I turned to him and put my hand out.
“I don’t think I can tell you goodbye,” I said, no longer bothering to wipe the tears that weren’t going to stop.
Jaxson put his hands on my cheeks and looked from one eye to the next. We were so close I worried I might look cross-eyed to him. I closed my eyes and his thumbs smoothed away my tears. And the next thing I knew, his soft lips were on my chapped ones. My eyes flew open and his were scrunched closed as he kissed me. I held onto his arms and kissed him back. After a few perfect moments, he pulled away and I wasn’t even disappointed he hadn’t tried a “real” kiss. I sighed and he rested his forehead on mine.
“We won’t say goodbye. Not now and not ever. Okay?” he whispered.
I nodded and more tears came. He hugged me tighter than he ever had and then took off running down the street. He looked back once more before rounding the corner.
“I’ll see you soon,” he yelled, waving and grinning.
He did write a few letters. The first one was disappointingly short.
Hey Bells,
I’ve never seen sunshine so many days in a row. It’s pretty sweet. That’s what they say here…sweet.
Speaking of that, EVERYONE makes fun of my accent. Everyone. Most of them can’t even understand me half the time. I feel like I have to say everything extra S-L-O-W. But two weeks down with school, the people aren’t so bad. Get this—year 9 is eighth grade here. Weird, eh?
How’s school going there? I hope you manage to avoid Ms. Rafferty.
I heard my mum telling yours to get here quick. I’m counting on that.
Missing you.
Jax
I scrunched my forehead. Jax? Since when did he go by Jax? And I couldn’t help but wish he’d mentioned something about our kiss. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it, but maybe for him it had just been an alternative to saying goodbye.
I put the letter in the drawer by my bed and took it out each night to read it. Some days it made me feel better, and other days it made me even more miserable. I had gotten stuck with Ms. Rafferty and she was worse than the rumors about her. Mum and Dad were fighting constantly it seemed, and there was no escaping to Jaxson’s house to ease the sadness. The days felt long and hollow. I wished I were in the land of sunshine. I didn’t have anything exciting to write about, but I did write him back a week later.
His letter came three weeks after I mailed his letter. I knew because I’d counted the days and checked the post relentlessly. When it finally came, I clutched it to my chest and ran to my bedroom before carefully ripping it open.
Hey Bells!
Still sunny. Can you believe it? It’s like freakin’ paradise here. You’ve gotta come. I’m sorry I haven’t written more often. I got a job mowing lawns in my neighborhood. It’s a sweet neighborhood too—I couldn’t believe anyone would trust me with their flawless grass! But the man next door told me I did a good job on ours and asked if I’d help him out. Now I’m mowing ten yards every other week. I’ll have money to come see you in no time…or I’ve been thinking, would your parents let you come here to see me? Think about it.
Anyway…I’ve gotta go. My friend Derek is coming over in a few minutes to play basketball.
Oh, one more thing. You better sit down for it. My mum is dating someone. Shocking, right? And I think she might really like him because she said she wants me to meet him soon. Hopefully I like the dude.
Missing you.
Jax
Yes, very shocking. I wondered how much my mum knew about it. She hadn’t said anything. Anne had never dated anyone that I knew of. Jaxson’s dad left before he was born and between raising him and her job as a court reporter, she claimed she didn’t have time for anything extra.
Her extra was hanging out with my mum, I thought. Now that they were also divided by an ocean, I guessed she’d found time after all. I hoped her son wouldn’t find a new best friend too.
Months went by with no word. Desperate, bleak months where I cried myself to sleep and often in the bathroom at school. Before, I had been okay without many friends because I had Jaxson to look forward to at lunch and after school. Without him, the days felt endless.
My dad lost his job. The fighting was now the norm. I couldn’t fit into any of my clothes and we didn’t have money to get new ones. It felt like the worst time in my life and Jaxson was nowhere to be found.
And then this letter came…
Hey Bells!
Has your mother told you yet? I’m positive you’ve heard the news that my mum is getting married! It’s fast, but I actually feel good about the whole thing. Charles is great. He’s nice and—get this—he’s quite well-off. I’m laughing when I write this because…wait until you see the place I’m moving into, Bells. “Well-off” is an understatement. It’s far swankier than The Vicarage, I’ll say that much. And it’s on the beach, Bells! Can you believe it?
I can’t wait for you to get here. Mum says your mum is her matron of honor, so that means I’ll see you soon! It’s been way too long.
Missing you.
Jax
I immediately went to find my mum, bouncing on the balls of my feet with excitement. I couldn’t believe she hadn’t told me this news—it would’ve made all the difference in the world to know I had this to look forward to. Maybe she’d been planning to surprise me…
I knocked on her bedroom door and stepped in when I heard her blow her nose. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, crying.
“Mum, what’s wrong?” I rushed to her side and sat down.
“Things are just complicated right now,” she said. “Your dad…his job…and now Anne is getting married. She wants us to come, which is wonderful, but I don’t see how we’ll be able to…”
I gasped. “We have to go. We can’t miss it!”
She wiped her face and gave me a sharp look. “Believe me, I want to be there as badly as you do.”
“Well, we have to find a way. When is the wedding?”
“Next month.”
We sat there in silence for half an hour, both trying to come up with ways to make quick money and becoming more and more hopeless as the seconds ticked by.
The next morning, my mum screamed and I went running to find her. She was laughing and crying, jumping up and down and screeching on the phone. “No way!” she cried. “I should tell him absolutely not, but I can’t afford to be too proud at this moment.” She put her hands over her mouth and her shoulders shook as she cried. She saw me then and pulled me close. “Jaxson gave Anne money for our tickets last night. When Charles heard what he’d done, he refused to let Jaxson pay for it. Actually…we’re flying on his private plane.” I’d started jumping up and down while she was telling me and we had Anne on speakerphone, yelling and cheering with us.
Before we hung up, Anne said, “Jaxson’s been working tirelessly since we got here, even with school…so he could see his Mirabelle again.”
I went to bed smiling and it didn’t wear off that entire month…until we got to the States.