When the bottom drops out, that’s when the good fills in the spaces, sinking into every crevice until you can’t remember there was ever a hole.
The good came just in time, Diary.
I need to remember that it always will…sometimes in its own time, but it will.
Before I step inside the house, I chant out loud, “Be positive. Be positive. Be positive.”
“Who are you tryin’ to convince—me or you?” Dave asks, stepping around the corner of the house with the garbage cans rolling behind him.
I laugh, embarrassed. “Caught me.”
“What’s up?”
“Ah…it’s been a long week,” I tell him. “I don’t want to talk about that, though! I want to hear what was so important that you called me on the phone…”
“I know—that ancient device that no one actually ever talks on anymore.” He parks the garbage cans and motions to the door. “Come on, let’s go in. It’s good to see you.”
“You too.”
Dave washes his hands and I sit at the kitchen table, waiting for him. Once he dries his hands, he holds up a finger and leaves the room. Really curious now, I nearly follow him out, but he’s back before I stand up…holding a little black velvet box.
He sets it on the table and my eyes go wide.
“Is that what I think it is?” I ask.
He motions for me to take a look. I carefully open the box and inside is a stunning solitaire with an infinity platinum band.
“Stunning,” I breathe.
I look up at him and he’s nervous, waiting for me to say more.
“It’s the prettiest ring I’ve ever seen.”
He lowers his head and reaches over to take my hand. “I did this backward. I should’ve waited on the ring until after I’d asked your blessing, but…I saw that ring and just went for it!” He laughs and pats my hand and my eyes well up. “Hence the call!” His shoulders shake and I laugh too because I’ve never seen him so flustered.
“Mum will totally say yes, and of course, you have my blessing! You coming into our lives was the highlight of my senior year and every year since. It feels like we’ve loved you forever.” I wipe the tears from my cheek and beam. “This will be the best wedding ever.”
His eyes are misty as he looks at me. “Thank you, Mira. It means the world to me to know you’re happy about this. You and Vanessa are a package deal and I love you so much. I hope you know that.”
I lean across the table and hug him, crying into his neck. I cry so hard that eventually he pulls away.
“Hey, are you sure you’re okay?” he asks, reaching for the box of tissues.
“I’m so happy about this. Really, I am.” I hiccup and then laugh at myself. “You know, I’ve always thought I was pretty well-adjusted…not having a dad around and all that. I wonder if maybe I’m not so much…” I blow into the tissue. “I think I might have to deal with that pretty soon.” I sigh. “But you…” My lip wobbles again. “You have never failed to make me feel valued and loved. Like a real dad should.”
“Loving you and your mother are the easiest things I’ve ever done,” he says.
I think about Dave’s words all the way to the restaurant. I didn’t want to infringe on their romantic dinner, but Dave insisted that I be a part of it, so I’m in the back seat half-listening to their conversation up front.
What if loving someone really is as easy as this?
I know it didn’t come to my mum easily. She grieved over my dad for years, both while they were together and after he left. It certainly didn’t come easily for my dad, who’d been able to walk away from us and never look back. Jaxson and I have skirted around each other for years, too afraid to love at the same time…out of sync. Miles—I don’t know if he feels anything like love for me, but he has felt more for me than I feel for him since we met in high school. Why is it easy for some and not for others?
Charles and Anne are already at our table, no sign of Jaxson. I feel like I’m an outsider looking in—not because anyone leaves me out or makes me feel that way, but because I have a hard time shutting off all the thoughts. It’s like I’m closing in on something important but haven’t figured out what it is yet. I try to shake it for now, especially when I realize the moment is here. Dave is asking Mum to marry him.
She whimpers when she sees him get down on one knee and everyone in the restaurant turns to watch. She’s shaking and saying, “Yes!” before he fully says the words. We all laugh and clap when he slides the ring on her finger and kisses her.
“Did all of you know this was happening tonight?” Mum says, wiping her tears with her napkin.
“No idea,” Anne says, practically jumping out of her seat.
“Only Mira.” Dave winks at me.
I reach across the table and put my hand on theirs. “I’m so happy.”
Jaxson texts before I get into bed.
Congratulations! I heard Dave is in for the long haul.
Me: It was pretty great—he got down on one knee and everything. I think we might have a wedding around Christmas.
No need to wait when you know what you want.
I set my phone on the nightstand. Everything Jaxson says lately feels like it has a double meaning, and I’m exhausted trying to keep up with him. I look at my phone and pick it back up.
Me: I’m afraid I won’t be able to hang out this weekend. Mum wants me to go dress shopping with her. Between work and school, weekends are going to be insane until January.
Okay.
Can I watch Winston while you shop?
Me: That would be great actually.
What time can I pick him up?
Me: I’m leaving early, but he’ll be okay here until you’re ready to get him.
He types and the dots go away. That repeats for a few minutes.
Okay.
Mum wants to have breakfast at The Cottage on Fay Avenue and lay out the plans for the day. Anne and Liesl show up at the house at seven thirty with Jaxson on their tails, looking very well-rested despite the hour.
He kisses Mum on each cheek, congratulating her, and then turns and does the same to me.
“You’re looking lovely this morning, Bells,” he says sweetly.
“As are you,” I say with a little curtsy.
He lifts a brow and then scowls when Winston growls at him. “It’s too early in the day for that,” he says, laughing.
I hand Winston to him and my puppy looks betrayed. “I’ll be home soon,” I whisper in Winston’s ear, kissing his face.
“I’m totally envying a dog right now...didn’t know that was possible,” Jaxson says.
The ladies laugh and I flush. I haven’t seen him since we kissed and it’s hard to look at him without thinking of that.
“All right, we better head out,” I say in a singsong voice, backing away from Jaxson so I can breathe.
He holds Winston up to his face and they are a picture I will not be able to get out of my head. “We’ll be waiting,” he says.
Liesl pulls out a wedding binder three inches thick at breakfast. She is not messing around. She’s mapped out the order of the shops we need to try and even has pictures of dresses she thinks will be perfect on my mum.
“Did you just have this on hand or—?”
“I didn’t sleep after she told me the news last night,” Liesl beams, “and I had the notebook, so I just started filling it up.”
“Impressive.”
“Well, we don’t have a lot of time.” She looks at Mum. “Are you serious about a Christmas wedding?”
“If you think we can pull it off.”
“You’ll most likely have to wear either a sample gown or something ready-to-wear, but there are lovely options out there…especially at these places.” She taps her finger on two of the shops.
“It’s my second wedding and the next massive affair we have should be Mira’s wedding.”
They all look at me and smile and I yelp.
“I can’t even keep a boyfriend!”
Anne and Mum exchange looks.
“What?” I ask.
“Oh, I just have a heartsick boy at my house, that’s all.” Anne laughs. “Don’t worry,” she holds her hand up when she sees my face fall, “I think it’s good for him. Lord knows he put you through the wringer in high school. Just…don’t make him wait too long, eh?”
When we get home, Jaxson is in my room looking miserable. “He’s hidden under the bed all day. I can’t get him to come out. He hates me.”
“He’ll come around,” I tell him.
When Winston hears my voice, he runs out and twirls madly around my feet. I bend down and he licks my face, beside himself with excitement.
I laugh and try to pet his wiggling body. Looking up at Jaxson, grinning, I pause when he looks heartbroken.
“Not a single thing has worked on our list. Are we cursed, Bells?”