Chapter 11

~John~

 

I’m pacing up and down my uncle’s office, my hands pulling angrily at my hair as my boots thump heavily on the hardwood floor. I can’t calm down. It’s been years since I’ve been this angry about anything. That night when Nicki was attacked was the last time. And what I’d done then to that scum bag who’d touched her had been a wakeup call. Since then, I’ve never let myself get that out of control again. Until now.

“Sit down,” my uncle growls at me from behind his desk.

When that guy tells you to do something, you don’t argue. I mutter a curse under my breath and force myself to sink into the chair beside Nicki. He leans over his desk and orders me, “Talk.”

“Jim, he won’t hurt me,” Nicki says, her cheeks red with embarrassment at the idea of discussing what we’re about to in front of my uncle.

“I know, princess. But when John gets like this he tends to take it out on whatever’s lying around at the time. I don’t want him trashing my office, so I’m staying.”

Nicki heaves a sigh and twists her body in her chair to face me. “Why did you attack him?”

“He’s a piece of shit.”

“That’s not an answer, John.”

Seems like the only answer when it comes to Axel. I draw in a breath in an effort to calm myself. I hate being angry around her, because I know how much anyone losing their temper scares her. And the struggle of trying to cool down just antagonizes me more. It’s like a frigging catch-22 situation. Argh! “I came here to give you a ride home.”

“And I appreciate it.”

“And then that…fuck…told me he was taking you out.”

She nods. “Yeah. It’s just lunch.”

I roll my eyes and slump back against my chair. Just lunch? She’s so naïve.

“What? What is that look for?” she asks. “Tell me,” she presses.

I look at my uncle and I can tell immediately that he knows what I’m not saying. But, as usual, Nicki doesn’t get it. And that’s exactly why she won’t be able to handle Axel and his sick games and manipulations.

“Axel wants to fuck you.”

“So what?”

I’m shocked. Why? Cuz she’s not shocked. She’s…what then?...fine with it? What the hell? “What? You want that?”

She shrugs her shoulders like it’s no big deal.

And just like that, my anger sparks to life again. I jerk forward in my chair. “You want that asshole to stick his limp dick in your pussy? You wanna spread your legs for him and let him use you like another one of his easy lays?”

“John!” my uncle scolds me. “Watch your mouth.”

“Do you?” I push, ignoring his warning.

“Maybe!” she blurts out.

Fuck. I feel like she’s just slapped the shit out of me. “Maybe, huh? You think he’s gonna be gentle with you? You think he’s gonna care if you’re hurt and sore when he takes you? You think he’s gonna make you come like I did? He’s not gonna give a shit about you.”

“John! I said watch your language!”

Nicki looks away and shields her face with her hands. “Stop it.”

I kick back my chair and jump to my feet. “You’re making a mistake. I’m trying to protect you. He’s going after you to get at me, okay?”

“You’re so full of yourself!” she yells, getting up from her chair and storming over to me. “And you’re such a liar.”

“Liar? I wish I was lying. I don’t want you to get hurt here.”

“Right, of course. You’d rather do that yourself.”

I wince at her comment. “No, I never want to hurt you.”

She shifts her weight, blows out a breath and cocks her head to the side. “Look, are we together?”

“What?”

“Are we together? Are you and I dating?”

“No, but—”

“Then I’m not yours.”

“Nicki, that’s not—”

“Great, then all of this is pointless.” She brushes past me roughly and storms to the door.

I beat her to it and slap my hand against it before she can open it.

“John, stop it!”

“Not until you listen.”

She thrusts both her hands into my chest. “Stop suffocating me! Do you want me to be like this forever; afraid to be touched by anyone?”

“No.”

“Is it that you want to be the only one, John? Are you jealous? You can’t stand the idea of any other man laying his hands on me? Of any other man being with me?” She steps into me and glares up at me. “You keep them all away from me, yet you don’t want me. So you want me to be alone forever, never with anyone until you’re ready to step up? I don’t fucking think so. You’ve already made it perfectly clear where you stand. So back the hell off!”

She pushes me again. Even harder this time. I don’t do anything to stop her. I let her. My back jars against the wall, winding me. But I don’t care. I can’t look away. I can’t take my eyes off her as she gives me a dirty look and then turns her back and walks away from me.

I jump suddenly as something cold presses against my cheek. It takes me a second to realize that it’s my uncle pressing an ice pack to my right eye where Axel punched me while I was restrained. Shit, how long have I been standing here just staring into space?

“Thanks,” I say, taking the ice pack from him and holding it to my face.

“You slept with Nicki?”

I shake my head.

“Well, you clearly did something with her. You know you’re making a mistake here, right?”

“I know. I should’ve never done anything with her.”

“No, you idiot. You’re making a mistake by blowing her off.”

I look away. “I’m not…ready.”

He slaps my shoulder. Hard. “Then hurry up and get ready or that asshole is gonna take your girl.”

I look up at him, surprised. “So you think he’s an asshole too?”

“Of course.”

“Why can’t she see that?”

“Nicki’s been through a lot. You know that better than anyone. She hasn’t grown up normally like other girls her age. She doesn’t have those street smarts when it comes to men. She’s still learning. Do you want her to have to learn the hard way?”

“No.”

“Then man up, John.”

He walks out of the room and I call out, “Man up?”

“Yeah, you heard me.”