“I know you didn’t mean to upset her, Joshua. Less will talk to her. Jenny is just, well, she’s shy would be understating it,” Bill said.
That didn’t make Joshua feel any better. He’d been an asshole, and without intending to be. If he’d said something so mild to any of the women he worked with, dealt with for business, or even taken out on a dinner date, they would have run their perfectly manicured nails across his tailored dress shirt and flipped his words back on him, wanting exactly that, his bite and his money.
“I have to explain myself to her.” Joshua ran his hands through his hair as he sat across from Bill and Lessy in a booth tucked into the corner of the diner. “I looked at her, and something clicked instantly. Bill, you know me like a brother. You know I wouldn’t say that unless… I mean… It was in every fiber of my being.”
“Something clicked? Are you saying my self-proclaimed bachelor-forever bud just might have found the one?” Bill asked. “In one glance? One look? I’m starting to side with Jenny on this, and you truly are batshit, a honey badger gang member, looney-bin-headed cray cray, and she’s damn right to be hiding. Love at first sight. Boy oh boy.”
Bill might have had a slight sense of teasing in his words, and he’d failed to hide the hint of a snicker, but Joshua could tell his closest friend didn’t quite believe him. Lo… The “L” word. He couldn’t even form the word in his brain, yet it’d been something close to it, and at first sight.
“Fuck a duck.”
“What did you just say?” Lessy asked.
Though she was young and her witchy goodness kept her face flawless beyond her years, the deep indentions between her brows were alarming.
“Where did you hear that?” she asked.
“He’s always said…damn. I didn’t even think.” Bill started to chuckle. “Jenny has dropped that saying here and there since I’ve met her. Joshua, here, I’ve heard him say it for years.”
Lessy eased back in the booth, her arms crossed over her chest, the lines between her brow gone. She studied him so intently, the back of Joshua’s neck started to bead with sweat. She picked her cell phone up off the table.
“Call Vivian,” she said into the device.
“Why are you calling my mom?” Bill asked. At the same time her finger went up, pausing him, Bill started to grin. “Oh, you are a genius. Have I told you how much I love you lately?”
Joshua could swear he felt his jaw hit the table. “Dude, no.” He covered his ears, though he knew it wouldn’t do a damn bit of good. “No. Please, Bill. Do not let your mom into my head. That is so way past the bro code, you could have your member card revoked and blasted into bits. It should be illegal. I call bullshit and a foul on the play.”
“Y’all really have member ID cards?” Lessy asked.
“He’s being dramatic because you have his balls in a vise grip. Go on, my dear. Do your thing.” Bill winked at his wife.
“Oh. Ha-ha.” She rolled her eyes. “I was soooo going to call you geek asses. Don’t worry, Joshua. Vivian won’t be walking around in only your head.” Lessy grinned.
Joshua sat very still while listening to Bill’s wife talk about him as if he weren’t right across the table from her. Everything in his bones told him to transport back home. Just leave, go back to the world and women he was used to. The money, the fake laughs, the pretentious snobs, the couture clothing, cars, homes—all of it. He knew how to deal with being used for a fancy meal in hopes of more. Joshua knew the women he’d dated only wanted a huge rock on their hand and his Centurion American Express card. But he had proceeded through life with his eyes wide open. He knew exactly when to cut bait and escape with no strings attached. His other golden rule? No one traveled with him on business.
Lessy put her phone facedown on the table, blocking him from seeing incoming information, Joshua assumed. Then she proceeded to edge closer, rested her elbows on the checkered tablecloth, and started tapping her steepled fingertips together, almost villainous-like. She was definitely up to something, and Joshua didn’t like being at a disadvantage.
In his world, he knew the market, he knew his clients, and he knew the stakes. Joshua should have come to visit Bill the very first time his friend had asked. He could have gotten to know Lessy before now. Joshua had always put work first, and now he’d put himself on the opposing side simply because he’d been too busy to be a good friend. What a hard way to learn a lesson.
I really am an asshole.
His mother thought he needed to settle down. After today, he was rethinking his entire personality. There was no way he’d attract someone he’d want to be with for a lifetime.
“Can we go back to your house? And is there a liquor store in this town? I could use some whiskey,” Joshua said, looking from Bill to Lessy and back to Bill.
Lessy’s phone buzzed. She picked it up, and her face lit up with a genuine smile, then her fingers flew as she typed out a reply so long, it could have been a short story. He watched her eyes go wide, then a grin tipped her lips.
“Can I trust your wife? And…can I please go get a drink? Two things, man, please, Bill, two things I need to know.”
“One, yes, your love life is in good hands with my wife, and two, we don’t need to stop at the store. I have whiskey, beer, tequila, whatever your heart desires,” Bill replied.
“My say-what is in good hands with your wife?”
“You heard me.” Bill smiled a bit too wickedly for Joshua’s nerves to handle.
“I don’t have—and don’t want—a love life.”
“Too bad,” Lessy answered. “One, you’re a liar. Two, you’re not the only one in this ballgame now. Let’s go, boys.”
She was up and out of the booth before Joshua could ask what she was talking about, who else she was including in her conspiracy theory, and where they were going.
“Roll with it, man.” Bill clasped his shoulder. “I’ve learned with Less, you just have to roll with it. She’s made you her mission—and, well, just wait it out and see what happens.”
As had happened through the last half hour of his life, he was being told where to go, whom to trust. Giving up control and having patience were not two things Joshua was used to. He definitely didn’t like either. And getting out of Assjacket seemed to be the only way to get back to his regular life, even if he was bored with it.