QUICK!!!

I leaped down the tower steps, two then three at a time.

Down and round the corner,

down and round the corner,

down and round the corner . . .

‘Come on, Frankie,’ I huffed to myself as I sprinted.

My brain started racing. The storm outside was getting worse: it looked like something from my Real-Life Adventures of Captain Plank books. What if the goblin messenger gave up and flew away?

I wasn’t about to miss out on the chance of some real excitement. Only BRILLIANT things arrived by Goblin Post.

I reached the door at the bottom of the tower steps and barged through it without checking if anything—

‘UUUGH!’ Before I could stop myself, I ran straight into Nancy, the hotel cook. She screamed with fright and toppled backwards onto the carpet, waggling her legs in the air. All eight of them.

This is probably a good time to tell you that Nancy is a giant spider – and I mean a really giant one! An Orkney Brittle-Back to be precise. She’s the last of her kind, and has been working at the hotel ever since it opened.

If Nancy stands on her back legs, her head touches the ceiling, and she can easily reach all the way across the kitchen to grab the salt and pepper when she’s cooking at the stove. So she’s a whirlwind when it comes to making food for lots of guests.

Don’t think big scary spider from a monster movie though. There’s nothing monstrous about Nancy. It’s also pretty hard to find her scary when she speaks with a Scottish accent, and wears spectacles, a flowery apron, fluffy slippers on her four back legs and has a blueish/purplish perm.

‘Oh, Frankie!’ she said, blinking all eight of her eyes at me. ‘Where are you off to in such a hurry?’

‘No time to explain,’ I puffed. All I could think about was getting to Mum in reception, and letting the raven and its goblin rider into the hotel. I was still so far away. There were about a squillion hallways and staircases between me and the ground floor. ‘Storm! Raven! Goblin!’

Nancy clambered back to her feet, then touched my forehead as if checking for a temperature.

‘Are you all right, my lamb?’

‘A goblin messenger, Nancy! Out in the storm!’ I finally managed to shout. ‘I have to tell Mum.’

Nancy’s face lit up. ‘OOOOOH! Goblin Post? That’s unexpected.’

‘QUICK!’

Nancy nodded and a look of determination spread across her face. She grabbed me under the arms and swung me over her shoulder.

‘Right you are, ducky.’

With that, Nancy raced along the top-floor hallway with me clutching her tightly to her back bristles the neck. I loved riding on Nancy’s back. There aren’t many things that can outsprint an Orkney Brittle-Back.

She click-clacked down the corridors like an eight-legged rocket, sometimes running right up the wall and across the ceiling to avoid guests that were coming and going from their bedrooms to see what all the noise was about.

‘Excuse us!’ Nancy shouted as we ran past Madam McCreedie, an ancient banshee who had checked in yesterday. The poor old thing screamed in shock so loudly that all the lights bulbs down the corridor exploded.

In no time at all, we had reached the top of the great spiral staircase that wound its way straight down through the middle of the hotel to the reception hall on the ground floor.

‘Here we go, Frankie,’ Nancy huffed over her shoulder. I squinted my eyes and gritted my teeth as she started leaping down the stairs, ten steps at a time. ‘WE’LL BE THERE IN A JIFFY!’

As we rounded the next bend of the great staircase, I spotted Lady Leonora Grey wafting her way up the steps towards us. Usually she haunts Hampton Court Palace, but every summer she takes a break from scaring tourists and comes to haunt the hotel instead.

Ghosts are so weird! They don’t need rooms or beds or toilets; instead they rent stairs to wander up and down, moaning to themselves. Not much of a holiday, if you ask me!

‘Woe is me!’ Lady Leonora was shrieking to herself. ‘DESPAIR!’

‘Watch out!’ I shouted.

‘GET OUT OF THE WAY!’ Nancy joined in, but it was obvious Lady Leonora wasn’t listening. Ghosts NEVER listen. They’re too busy wailing and gnashing their teeth to pay attention to other people – even a boy riding a giant, speeding spider!

‘Fine!’ Nancy grunted and, without bothering to slow down, she ran straight through Lady Leonora. I love running through ghosts. Mum and Dad always tell me off if they catch me doing it, but it’s SO much fun. It feels like ice-cold popping candy all over your skin.

‘DO YOU MIND?!’ Lady Leonora screeched as she vanished behind us. ‘How rude!’

We were nearly halfWay down the great staircase now, but I’d already spotted more guests in the way as we rounded the next curve. A family of impolumps were hobbling their way upstairs, dragging their suitcases behind them. They looked up with wide eyes as we galumphed closer and closer.

‘Oh, bother,’ Nancy said as we sped downwards. I could almost hear a plan forming inside her head. ‘Hold on, Frankie, and, whatever you do, don’t let go.’

Before I even had time to think about wetting my pants with fear, Nancy looped a silky strand of web over the banister and, just before we ran SMACK into the petrified impolumps, she JUMPED!