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The hall was dark, save for the dim moonlight coming through the window, illuminating the floorboards in soft blue phosphorescence. She could have sworn that she had heard someone out here, moving silently across the wood, feet padding along like the soft beat of rain.
Carolyn was unsure of what door she was standing next to. Was it Andy’s or was it the bathroom? She walked to the foot of the stairs leading up to the fourth floor where two doors waited. One directly opposite the staircase and the other to the left of it.
There were muffled sounds coming from the other side of the door that faced her at the top.
Carolyn lifted her leg and planted it on the first step, the wood creaking just slightly, but loud enough that the sound carried throughout the old house.
“Hey!”
Carolyn jumped with a start. She turned to see Amanda Willis staring at her in cotton sleeping pants and a pink tee, her blonde mane pulled back from her face with a scrunchy.
“Jesus, you scared the hell out of me!” Carolyn placed her hand on her heart, as if she were going to say the pledge of allegiance.
“What are you doing?”
Carolyn paused briefly, listening to see if they had disturbed anyone else. Tammy did not stir, nor did the muffled sounds coming from the fourth floor.
“I heard someone out here, I went to see who it was; was it you?”
Amanda nodded.
Of course it was her. Carolyn felt completely stupid for thinking differently. There you go, freaking yourself out.
“You want to go see them?” Amanda asked her, a playful grin spreading across her face.
“But we shouldn’t....” Carolyn returned the grin.
“Do we care?” Amanda and Carolyn laughed and crept up the steps, trying to ‘shush’ each other as to not disrupt what they figured was probably going on beyond Aaron’s bedroom door. The sound was something deep and primal, the way she always figured two men would sound like together.
They weren’t saying anything as far as she could tell, but it was the sound, gruff and hungry—even in the passion they expressed—that confirmed for her that men had a beast inside of them, a darker self that responded to stimulus and gratification. A self that was always craving to be sated. Men were sexual creatures in a way that many women were not, and this came from something deep and biological. Something in the chromosomes that made them.
There were times that hunger—that need—crossed with defective wires and made monsters. Bailey was proof of that. But hearing Aaron and Chase, she realized that what made it different was that even in its carnality there was no aggression. It was low and drawn, trusting in its mutual submission. It wasn’t about dominating, it was about vulnerability.
“Let’s wait. We shouldn’t interrupt,” Carolyn whispered to Amanda, the two of them standing at the top of the stairs, looking at his door in the dark.
Amanda’s brown eyes glanced towards the open bathroom to their left and smiled. “Let’s go into the bathroom and turn on the faucet. That way they’ll know we’re up here.”
Carolyn nodded and they hurried across the floor into the bathroom. It was a large room with a pitched ceiling and glossy black walls with white wainscoting. They pushed the door shut, letting it click loudly into the lock and Amanda turned on the faucet on the white pedestal sink. The water came out in one great rush, the sound filing up the silence of the house.
Carolyn walked over to the claw-footed tub and pushed the wrap shower curtain to the side and took a seat on the tub’s edge. She and Amanda stared at each other in the dark, not speaking and yet communicating nonetheless.
In Amanda’s eyes were Carolyn’s own thoughts, and those thoughts questioned everything that was happening, and the strangeness in being thrown into each other’s lives, when they all thought they would never see anyone from Proctor Junior High ever again.
They were all familiar aliens to each other. Recognizable but completely unknown. The closest to each other had been Amanda and Chase, but even then, there was eight years separating them. A corpse was the only thing that connected them to each other, a school and a snapshot in time was all that they shared, beyond that they were strangers.
Chase and Aaron had been different. They were involved. They had moments of firsts and adolescent explorations between them. They had been at the beginning of all of this, they weren’t strangers to each other; they were two parts separated that had found their way back.
In one way or another they were all adrift, trying to pretend that they all weren’t perfectly awkward and weary with each other. Beyond her name and what she learned tonight, Carolyn knew nothing about Amanda Willis, and her eyes echoed the same thing.
How much did any of them know about each other?
She knew more about Tammy Reynolds than she knew about the three of them, and that’s how it was for all of them. They weren’t friends. They had all just known the wrong boy at the right time and now they were having to deal with it together.
Amanda turned off the faucet and the two of them listened, slowing their breath while doing so, training their ears to detect the slightest sound.
There was none.
“Okay.” Amanda said, and she and Carolyn left the bathroom and crept back out into the dark hall, continuing to listen for any sign that they were still detained.
They reached the door, and the floor creaked beneath Amanda’s foot as they huddled around it.
“Yes?” Aaron sang from the other side.
“Oh, um.... You guys still up?” Amanda asked and looked at Carolyn, not expecting for them to be called out before she had had a chance to knock on his door.
“Yes,” Aaron sang again.
“Can we come in?” Carolyn asked from behind Amanda’s shoulder.
“Uh...” Aaron responded. There was whispering, and then Chase saying ‘just a minute’ followed by more rustling.
Quickly Amanda turned the knob and pushed the door open; it skirted across the floor as Aaron’s room came into view, the drapes still pushed open and the midnight streets lighting up the space in its electric bath.
“What the fuck are you guys doing?” Aaron asked, a mild hint of a grin twisting in the corner of his mouth.
“We decided that we wanted to see hot, gay, man-sex...” Carolyn said, as she and Amanda drew closer to the bed.
Chase smirked. “Perverts.”
“Well, of course,” Amanda responded as both she and Carolyn sat down at the foot of the bed, crossing their legs as if they were going to meditate. Carolyn had to skillfully gather the robe around her so as not to expose herself to the rest of them.
“What are you guys doing up?” Aaron asked, looking over at the clock and rolling his eyes when he saw the time.
Amanda laughed. “Well, I had to pee—”
“And her having to pee woke me up,” Carolyn interjected.
“So, now of course, the logical next step would be to hang out at three in the morning....” Chase yawned and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. Both men were sitting up with their knees drawn, the soft down comforter covering everything below the waist.
“We should talk,” Amanda said. “We’re at the center of this. The four of us. We need to deal with it. This is about Bailey and Proctor, and... that time....” Amanda’s words trailed off.
The sound of his name rang hollow in the pit of their stomachs and Aaron reached for the cigarettes and ashtray on the nightstand. He lit the cigarette and then pulled it away from him as he exhaled, holding it pencil-straight and staring into the burning ember before putting it back between his lips and inhaling once again.
No one knew where to begin.
They started with a discussion about their old teachers, and giving updates on anything new that they had learned over the past nine years. There wasn’t much. They had been so out of touch for so long, that they weren’t connected to anyone on Myspace or Facebook—not even Amanda, which had surprised Carolyn, but apparently when Amanda Willis tested out of high school, she ensured that every bridge was burned in her wake.
“Yeah, I was kind of a total bitch. I just didn’t want to be bothered. I was over it and I just couldn’t get excited about that shit anymore.
“High school was over for me before it had even started.”
“It was that way for all of us, I think,” Chase whispered, and they nodded.
“It wasn’t just Bailey. It was that school, or maybe because of Bailey it became the school for me... I don’t know. It all felt weird to me. Off.... Even now, driving past it... I look at it like I would look at an abandoned hospital or something,” Amanda finished.
“Apparently they’re tearing it down.”
They all looked at Carolyn, who nodded to confirm her statement.
She knew by the look in their eyes that they were shocked but pleased, knowing that a dark chapter in their lives might somehow be coming to a close.
“Thank God...” Chase said, looking from the two of them to Aaron, who still sat stoically, smoking his cigarette and seeing past the two girls, his eyes focused on the wall behind them.
“That place was... evil. I can’t describe it anyway other than that. Maybe it all had to do with Bailey. Maybe it was generations of teenage confusion and heightened emotions constantly being fed. Perhaps there really were ghosts that haunted its halls. Echoes of the past. Memories forever replaying and intensifying with all of that volatile and unpredictable energy, just saturating the walls and the foundations.
“Either way, I’m not going to be sad to see it go. Obviously they’re going to rebuild it, but hopefully they won’t keep any piece of it,” Carolyn finished.
“Ashes to ashes,” Aaron whispered.
“Well, I think we should light up the pipe and just send that motherfucker off in style!” Amanda said.
“Yeah, no kidding, I—” The phone rang, cutting Chase off mid-sentence. They looked at each other quizzically, questioning who would be calling Aaron’s cell at three in the morning. He was hesitant to answer, and continued to stare at the screen; the caller ID said restricted in block letters.
After two more rings, Aaron finally answered it.
“Hello?”
Within seconds Carolyn watched as Aaron’s demeanor changed, shifting from mild compliance to fear.
“Go fuck yourself.” He ended the call and threw the phone on the bed between his legs.
“What did he say?” Chase asked, placing his arms around his boyfriend’s shoulders and pulling him into his chest.
“Soon... he said, soon.” Aaron sat up and began to search the room with his eyes, as if he were looking for something.
“Aaron?” Amanda asked, but he was already out of the bed, crossing the floor in black briefs, his stride slowing as he got closer to the glass and the glow from the lights outside made his eyes sparkle.
Chase, Carolyn, and Amanda looked at each other then got to their feet, crossing the room and joining Aaron at the window. The four of them went rigid and their pulses quickened as they looked at the figure standing across the street in the early morning dark.
It was a dominating and masculine silhouette staring up at them. The build was more or less similar to Chase’s but it was the way in which he stood and how the shadows created by the streetlight made it seem as if he could dwarf anything in his shade. The longish black hair hung haphazardly, but the curve of the jaw, the nose—what they could see—looked uncannily like Bailey Nguyen.
The Shape lifted his left arm slowly, and drew one accusing finger towards the window—towards Aaron, who shook his head and backed away, stumbling into his bed.
“Aaron?” Chase watched him make his way to his closet, emerging a second later with a black duffle bag which he tossed on the bed.
“I can’t deal with this shit!”
Chase folded his arms across his chest, no longer caring about the figure outside. “Aaron, stop.”
He shook his head and looked frantically around his room. “If I go, then you guys will be okay. He wants me.”
Carolyn stared at The Shape, that man whose face she could only see parts of in the shadows the streetlight cast on his face.
“He wants all of us....”
“We’re all involved.” Amanda whispered. “Whether we like it or not. In the end he wants to get to you, but he will go through us to do it.”
“We’ve run long enough, haven’t we?” Chase asked him.
Aaron’s head fell in defeat, and Chase opened his arms and pulled Aaron into him, kissing the top of his head and rocking him slowly in place.
Chase stepped to the side and looked at him and Aaron’s near-nakedness and laughed. “Well, this is slightly awkward.”
“Yeah...” Aaron chuckled.
They both reached for their pants and pulled them on, Chase fastening the button on his jeans and pulling up the zipper, while Aaron stepped into a pair of green sweatpants.
“Hey, Amanda?” She turned to look at Chase. “Is that fucker still out there?”
Amanda nodded, and Chase went to the door and raced down the steps. Amanda, Carolyn and Aaron were running quickly behind him, following him down the winding staircase.
Before they had even reached the second floor, Chase was already sprinting across the foyer. He threw open the front door and was already down the steps by the time they reached the table in the middle of the hall.
The air was crisp, having cooled during the night and a brief breeze came through, licking Chase’s naked flesh, and passing through wind chimes that rang in the distance.
There was no one out there across the street. No menacing presence, and no silent threat. The streets were empty—deserted. All of the homes were dark and secure. Nothing suspicious or out of the ordinary seemed to be at play.
Amanda, Aaron, and Carolyn stood huddled on the porch, trying to keep warm. The gooseflesh spread as they listened to the wind and searched the night cautiously. Despite the street lamps the yard seemed overtly grim, as if light was forbidden to touch the grass where Chase stood ignoring the wet dew on his bare feet, while his brain worked overtime to try to figure out where the mysterious stranger could have possibly gone.
He turned and headed back up to the porch, the other three staring at him with a questioning, a questioning that would receive no answer; not tonight.
He shook his head and narrowed his gaze as the girls went in first, followed by Aaron, who sighed and looked at him with wide, fearful eyes.
Chase turned to close the front door—hesitant at first—his eyes still staring out into that darkness—searching for the specter—wary of turning his back to it.
––––––––
You and I were made for each other, you know it and I know it, and it will always be like that, always, till the day you die....
Bailey’s words floated through Aaron’s mind, curling around his brain as distinct and clear as it had been the day he said it, as if Bailey were standing next to him on the stairs, whispering in his ear as intimate as any lover clinging tightly to him in the dead of night.
They made their way quickly up the stairs, listening cautiously for the others—any sound that they had disturbed the other women in the house. As far they could tell, everyone else was still sound asleep.
They all went straight for the window as soon as they got inside of Aaron’s room, searching the dark for The Shape but finding nothing.
“How many times have you received phone calls, Aaron?” Carolyn asked him softly, her voice shaky as she tried to process what they had just seen.
“Huh? Oh, about three or four....” There were so many tears and so many secrets. The years were soaked in blood and out of all of them, the one who had been ruined the most was Aaron.
He was a shell. An empty shell trying to move on, to grow up and fill himself with other things—tangible and present things—but he could not. Carolyn knew this as well as she knew anything else; Aaron Christopher was a part of Proctor. He was that school. It had defined him more that it had defined the rest of them.
That day in the bathroom had cemented it. Whatever the truth, only two people had been there. Only two kids had stood in that bathroom, and Aaron carried the truth of that inside.
“He blames you, doesn’t he?” Carolyn asked him.
Aaron looked at her, folding his arms across his bare chest.
“Yes.”
“And is there any truth to it? Did you—” She stopped, and they all looked at her. It was the question they had all wondered. It was the thing that they had all thought about over the years, and yet none of them had wanted to be the one to ask.
“Carolyn,” Chase said.
“Well do you—”
Aaron turned and looked at her, eyes blazing, unable to hide his fury.
“I don’t know! I didn’t know him well enough to tell you anything,” he shouted at her. “He raped and tortured me! What I know about Bailey Nguyen is simply this: he’s a monster.
“I didn’t want him to die. Not even in those darkest moments, did I....” Aaron pinched the bridge of his nose with his left hand and swallowed tears. “But I did hate him. Bailey knew torture... he knew it well.
“Once, he followed me into the woods by Puget Park, right down into the ravine. I had no idea that he had followed me, and it became a game to him; I almost fell off the ledge running down the trail to get away from him.”
Aaron was back there, seeing it all. His eyes were distant, and their stomachs knotted as they listened to him.
“He chased me down. Hunted me like an animal. And when he ran me into the ground,” Aaron sniffled and rubbed the tears from his eyes, “he picked me up and dragged me to a fallen log resting across a ten foot ditch.” There were tears now. Hot and heavy, his face becoming flushed from the crying.
“He laid me down on it—on my stomach—and then he fucked me.”
Aaron looked up at them and they all wanted to turn away from him. The pain in his face—the anguish in his eyes—was too much to bear. It was too much to listen to, but they all held their gazes.
“He fucked me until I bled, until I had screamed my voice out, and then he got up and left me there....”
“You piece of shit!”
They all turned to see Andy in the doorway, her face tight with anger.
“I tell you my darkest secret, and you share nothing. You just act like your shit is all normal, but nothing about this... nothing about you is normal. I trust you and share something so personal, and you can’t even give me a little bit back! Obviously I had it all wrong.
“Fuck you, Aaron, fuck you!” She ran from them, her stout body racing down the stairs in black pajamas of crushed velvet.
“Andy!” Aaron rolled his eyes. “Goddamn it. Just add one more thing to all of this.”
“You want to go talk to her?” Chase asked him.
Aaron looked at him and shook his head.
“It’s late. Or early, depending on how you look at it. There’s already so much to deal with. Andy can wait. It’s going to have to. Let’s make sure this guy doesn’t kill us, then I can deal with all of that.” He waved over to the door, dismissing everything that had just happened.