THE SEXUAL
EXCITEMENT SURVEY
Dear Reader:
I’ve included this modified version of the SES so you can see how I gathered information about peak sex for my research. More important, I hope you’ll actively use it as a tool for expanding your self-awareness.
Part I is concerned with your most memorable real-life peak encounters, while Part II focuses on fantasy. Responding to all the questions can stimulate your thoughts. However, particularly crucial items appear in boxes. These open-ended questions ask you to write about your personal experiences in as much detail as you wish.
If you’d like to help expand my research, consider sending me your responses (anonymously, of course). This choice is completely optional, a decision you can put off until later if you prefer. Only if you send in your answers is it necessary to respond to Part III (personal background information).
If you decide to become a research participant, simply print or type the number of each question on sheets of paper. There’s no need to write out the questions. Remember not to put your name anywhere. For questions with lettered or numbered choices, select the appropriate letter or number of your answer. For questions in boxes, please type or print your stories, using as many pages as you wish. Mailing instructions are at the end of the survey.
PART I: REAL-LIFE ENCOUNTERS
Think back over all your sexual encounters with other people. Allow your mind to focus on two specific encounters that were among the most arousing of your entire life. Describe each of them in as much detail as you wish.
1. Describe exciting encounter.
2. How old were you when you had this encounter?
3. What kind of relationship did you have with the partner(s) in this encounter?
a. Anonymous
b. Acquaintance
c. Boyfriend/girlfriend
d. Primary relationship or spouse
e. Multiple partners
f. Other (specify) _________
4. What do you think made this encounter so exciting?
5. How would you rate your level of excitement during this encounter, especially compared to your usual ones?
Not exciting [-0-1-2-3-4] Extremely exciting
6. How would you rate your level of fulfillment during this encounter, especially compared to your usual ones?
Not fulfilling [-0-1-2-3-4] Extremely fulfilling
7. How important was each of the following six groups of emotions in this encounter? Within each group of feelings, base your rating on whichever feeling was most important. (Note: some emotions, especially the “negative” ones, may be very important even though they’re not particularly intense.)
a. Exuberance (related emotions: joy, celebration, surprise, freedom, euphoria, and pride)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4] Very important
b. Satisfaction (related emotions: contentment, happiness, relaxation, and security)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4] Very important
c. Closeness (related emotions: love, tenderness, affection, connection, unity [oneness], and appreciation)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
d. Anxiety (related emotions: fear, vulnerability, weakness, worry, and nervousness)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
e. Guilt (related emotions: remorse, naughtiness, dirtiness, and shame)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
f. Anger (related emotions: hostility, contempt, hatred, resentment, and revenge)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
8. Before or during this encounter, which of the following drugs did you use? (note as many as apply)
a. None
b. Alcohol
c. Barbiturates/tranquilizers (“downers”)
d. Stimulants (cocaine, “speed”)
e. Marijuana
f. Nitrite inhalants (“poppers”)
g. Psychedelics (LSD, “ecstasy,” etc.)
9. Describe exciting encounter #2.
10. How old were you when you had this encounter?
11. What kind of relationship did you have with the partner(s) in this encounter?
a. Anonymous
b. Acquaintance
c. Boyfriend/girlfriend
d. Primary relationship or spouse
e. Multiple partners
f. Other (specify) __________________
12. What do you think made this encounter so exciting?
13. How would you rate your level of excitement during this encounter, especially compared to your usual ones?
Not exciting [-0-1-2-3-4-] Extremely exciting
14. How would you rate your level of fulfillment during this encounter, especially compared to your usual ones?
Not fulfilling [-0-1-2-3-4-] Extremely fulfilling
15. How important was each of the following six groups of emotions in this encounter? Within each group of feelings, base your rating on whichever feeling was most important. (Note: some emotions, especially the “negative” ones, may be very important even though they’re not particularly intense.)
a. Exuberance (related emotions: joy, celebration, surprise, freedom, euphoria, and pride)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
b. Satisfaction (related emotions: contentment, happiness, relaxation, and security)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
c. Closeness (related emotions: love, tenderness, affection, connection, unity [oneness], and appreciation)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
d. Anxiety (related emotions: fear, vulnerability, weakness, worry, and nervousness)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
e. Guilt (related emotions: remorse, naughtiness, dirtiness, and shame)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
f. Anger (related emotions: hostility, contempt, hatred, resentment, and revenge)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
16. Before or during this experience, which of the following drugs did you use? (note as many as apply)
a. None
b. Alcohol
c. Barbiturates/tranquilizers (“downers”)
d. Stimulants (cocaine, “speed”)
e. Marijuana
f. Nitrite inhalants (“poppers”)
g. Psychedelics (LSD, “ecstasy,” etc.)
The focus of Part II is your personal experiences with sexual fantasy, in the past as well as the present. A sexual fantasy is simply a mental image, daydream, thought, or feeling that turns you on. Fantasies can be brief and simple or long and complex. If you’re unclear about what fantasies are, read the fantasy section in Chapter 1.
17. At what age do you first remember having a sexual fantasy?
18. Describe one of the first sexual fantasies you can remember.
19. Considering all your sexual fantasies that include other people, what proportion of the important characters—besides yourself—are of the same or opposite sex as you?
All same sex [-0-1-2-3-4-] All opposite sex
Following are a variety of statements about sexual fantasy. How frequently does each statement apply to you personally? For each statement, select a number from this scale that best reflects your experience:
Never [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very frequently
20. I fantasize about my past sexual experiences.
0 1 2 3 4
21. I fantasize about desired future experiences.
0 1 2 3 4
22. I fantasize about things that couldn’t really happen.
0 I 2 3 4
23. I fantasize about things I wouldn’t actually want to do.
0 1 2 3 4
24. I fantasize about someone besides my regular sex partner(s).
0 1 2 3 4
25. I fantasize when I masturbate.
0 1 2 3 4
26. I fantasize when I’m having sex with a partner.
0 1 2 3 4
27. I fantasize about sex with two or more partners at the same time.
0 1 2 3 4
28. I have fantasies when I don’t want to.
0 1 2 3 4
29. I’m embarrassed or uncomfortable about my fantasies.
0 1 2 3 4
30. I think my fantasies are less interesting than other people’s.
0 1 2 3 4
31. I wonder if my fantasies are normal.
0 1 2 3 4
32. I wish my fantasies were different than they are.
0 1 2 3 4
33. I’ve made a conscious effort to change my fantasies.
0 1 2 3 4
34. Imagine yourself really wanting to be sexually aroused but, for some reason, you’re not. Based on everything you know about your sexuality, describe the fantasy that would be the very most likely to arouse you.
35. What are your ideas about what makes this fantasy so exciting? Please be as specific as you possibly can.
36. Describe the “climax”—the most intense point of excitement—of this fantasy.
37. How important is each of the following six groups of emotions in this fantasy? Within each group of feelings, base your rating on whichever feeling is most important. (Note: some emotions, especially the “negative” ones, may be very important even though they’re not particularly intense.)
a. Exuberance (related emotions: joy, celebration, surprise, freedom, euphoria, and pride)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
b. Satisfaction (related emotions: contentment, happiness, relaxation, and security)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
c. Closeness (related emotions: love, tenderness, affection, connection, unity [oneness], and appreciation)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
d. Anxiety(related emotions: fear, vulnerability, weakness, worry, and nervousness)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
e. Guilt (related emotions: remorse, naughtiness, dirtiness, and shame)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
f. Anger (related emotions: hostility, contempt, hatred, resentment, and revenge)
Not at all important [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very important
38. Think about all the different fantasies that excite you. What percentage of all your fantasies have a similar theme to the one you just described?
39. For how many years have you been aroused by fantasies similar to the one you just described?
40. How often do you use erotic materials—such as sexually explicit books, magazines, videos, etc.—either alone or with a sex partner?
Never [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very frequently
41. If you ever use erotic materials, what is the most common effect they have on you?
No effect [-0-1-2-3-4-] Highly arousing
42. Which of the following people have you told about your most exciting fantasy? (note as many as apply)
a. No one
b. A parent
c. A sibling
d. A friend
e. An acquaintance
f. A stranger
g. A casual sex partner
h. A regular sex partner
i. A therapist
Respond to this section only if you are mailing in your answers.
43. Your gender?
44. Your age?
45. Your occupation?
46. Your race?
a. Asian/Pacific Islander
b. Black
c. Hispanic
d. Caucasian
e. Other _______________
47. In which state do you live?
48. How would you describe the community in which you live?
a. Large city
b. Suburban
c. Small city
d. Rural
49. Your highest level of formal education?
a. Less than high school
b. High school graduate
c. Some college
d. College graduate
e. Some graduate work
f. Graduate degree
50. In which organized religion did you participate as a child?
a. None
b. Protestant
c. Catholic
d. Jewish
e. Other _____________
51. In which organized religion do you participate now?
a. None
b. Protestant
c. Catholic
d. Jewish
e. Other
52. How much influence do you think your religious beliefs (past or present) have on your current attitudes and feelings about sex?
No influence [-0-1-2-3-4-] Strong influence
53. How old were you when you first masturbated?
54. How many times do you masturbate now in an average month?
55. If you masturbate, how many minutes do you usually spend during one session?
56. How old were you when you first had a feeling of sexual attraction toward another person?
57. How old were you when you first did any kind of sexual touching with another person?
58. How old were you when you first had an orgasm with another person (from any kind of stimulation)?
59. How many different sexual partners have you had in your lifetime? (any sexual contact, Not necessarily intercourse)
60. During the last year, how many times have you had sex with a partner in an average month (any sexual contact, not necessarily intercourse)?
61. How many times would you like to have sex with a partner in an average month?
62. During the last year, how many orgasms have you had in an average month (by yourself and with a partner)?
63. When you have sex with a partner, about what percentage of the time do you have an orgasm?
64. What is your current marital/relationship status?
a. Single/never married
b. Married
c. Separated/divorced
d. In primary relationship, but not married
The next four questions are about your current primary relationship. If you are not involved in a relationship, please skip to question 69.
65. How long have you been involved in your current relationship?
66. Is your partner male or female?
67. How many times have you had sex with this partner in the last month (any sexual contact, not necessarily intercourse)?
68. Since you became involved with this person, with how many other partners have you also had sex (any sexual contact, not necessarily intercourse)?
69. How do you define your sexual orientation?
Exclusively homosexual [-0-1-2-3-4-5-6-] Exclusively heterosexual
70. Overall, how satisfied do you feel with your current sex life?
Not at all satisfied [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very satisfied
71. How would you rate your overall level of self-esteem?
Very low [-0-1-2-3-4-] Very high
Please answer yes or no for each of the following questions:
72. Before puberty, did you ever have any sexual contact (not necessarily intercourse) with an adult?
73. Have you ever had any sexual contact with a sibling?
74. Have you ever had any sexual contact with a parent or stepparent?
75. Have you ever been forced to have sex when you didn’t want to?
76. Have you ever forced another person to have sex with you when he or she didn’t want to?
77. Have you ever done anything sexually that was against the law?
If yes, what did you do?
78. Have you ever been arrested because of your sexual behavior?
If yes, what were you arrested for?
79. What was the total amount of time you spent filling out this survey?
80. Are there any comments you would like to make about this survey? (what you liked and didn’t like about it, how it could be improved, etc.)
81. In the course of reading The Erotic Mind, when did you respond to this survey?
a. When I first read about it in chapter I.
b. While I was reading the book.
c. After I finished reading the book.
If you’ve decided to send in your answers, please make sure you’ve answered every relevant question (partial responses cannot be included in the research) and that your name does not appear anywhere. Mail your responses to:
Jack Morin, Ph.D.
P.O. Box 1045
Belmont, CA 94002-1045