nineteen

Kate drove Merry back out to the ranch. “I wish you’d called me when the shit hit the fan in Dallas. I didn’t find out about what was going on until it was too late for me to do anything.”

Merry’s brow furrowed. “You made it clear you hated my guts. Why would I have called you?”

“I know I said a lot of stuff back then. I was angry about Rand. I thought you’d intentionally seduced him. I didn’t realize he was just a cheating asshole.”

“I was pretty flattered that he’d picked me. I’d always thought of you as the one who had it all together, the one who got the guys.”

“You did?” Kate laughed. “I always thought that about you.”

That gave Merry pause. “Well, you ended up the lucky one, Rand-wise.” Her tone was bitter.

“I know.”

“Not that you would have stuck around as long as I did. You would have realized right away and left him.”

Kate shook her head. “Don’t beat yourself up. He’s a charming bastard. And if I’m so damn discerning, why did I blame you instead of him when he broke up with me?”

“Well. There’s that.”

Kate looked sidelong at her. “We okay now?”

Merry nodded. “Yeah.”

Kate smiled. “Good.”

Jamie’s Jeep was parked in the round drive in front of the ranch house when they arrived. Wearing jeans and a T-shirt, he sat on the porch in Mama’s rocking chair with his feet up on the polished log railing.

She got out of Kate’s Volvo and hurried toward him. “Jesus, Jamie. Why did you mouth off like that?”

“Something I should have done a long time ago.”

“When will the chief let you go back to work?”

“I don’t know if he will. Don’t know that I’ll go back even if he does.”

“Hell. You can’t give up your job over … well, you just aren’t going to do it.” She had been going to say “over me.” Like Jamie couldn’t control himself where she was involved. And that, as their brief physical encounter by the river had proven, simply wasn’t true.

His next words bore out her thoughts. “I can do any damn thing I want to, McCoy. I’ve been working for that prick Hawkins for three years, and he’s the sorriest excuse for a lawman I’ve ever seen. When the old chief retired and they brought in this new guy, I thought things might change. Turns out, even though he’s from over by Butte, he’s well connected in the old-boy network in this county. You know, the ones not too fond of people with last names like mine—doesn’t matter a damn whether I was born and raised in this county or not.”

“So he’s a racist, and he’s corrupt. Can’t you lodge a complaint?”

Jamie exchanged knowing looks with Kate. “With the mayor who appointed him? Or the city council made up of his cronies? My best bet is to find something else to do.”

“But you love being a cop.”

Distress crossed his face, and he looked away.

“Listen, I’ve got to get back into town and uncover an alibi for you,” Kate said, breaking the mood on the porch.

As she was climbing into her car, Merry called to her. “Kate.” Their eyes met. “Thanks.”

Kate nodded. “I’ll call you later, after I talk to Yvette.”

Merry waved and watched the Volvo leave, pulling a plume of road dust behind it toward the highway. She turned to Jamie.

“You hungry?”

“What did you have in mind?”

“That cutthroat I caught. It’s a day old, but—”

“That’ll do.”

They walked inside and Merry set about fixing the trout. She salted the interior cavity and layered slices of lemon and onion and dabs of butter in and around the fish, then folded the whole thing into a foil packet. While Jamie fired up the barbeque, she assembled a salad, sliced strawberries, and whipped the cream for strawberry shortcake.

Check two items off the list.

When the food was ready, they loaded their plates and returned to the porch, Merry in Mama’s rocker and Jamie sat on the top step. She closed her eyes as she took a bite of trout.

“God, that’s so good.” The words came out almost a groan.

She opened her eyes to find Jamie watching her with an odd expression on his face. Maybe not odd so much as changing, the messages in his eyes warring with one another.

“What?” she said.

“Nothing.”

“Something.”

“Just … for a second there, you looked so … I don’t know.”

She suddenly knew exactly what she’d looked like, savoring that first bite. And he’d recognize that look, not from a meal eaten on a front porch but from long moments of a different sort of pleasure altogether.

She finished eating without comment. They went in to get the shortcake and returned to the porch. The talk turned to Denny Teller’s murder. Jamie didn’t have any information Hawkins hadn’t already imparted, and Merry updated him on everything she’d told Kate. Inside, he helped her put away leftovers and wash the dishes. When they were done, a sudden awkwardness descended between them, and she led the way back outside in order to escape it.

“Does Gayle know you’re suspended yet?”

Jamie shook his head.

“You want to call her?”

Holding her gaze for a long moment, he shook his head again. Then in two long steps, he closed the distance between them, sliding his arms around her shoulders and pulling her to him. She stiffened, half afraid to respond, half afraid not to. His arms tightened, and one hand shifted to her neck, fingers tangling in her curls. He eased her head back so she could see his face.

There was no mistaking the message in his eyes now.

“Jamie,” she whispered, giving a slight shake of her head. “You can’t—”

He bent his head, brushing his lower lip along the length of her upper one, an almost-kiss, soft as goose down. Tentative. Teasing.

The seed of desire that had germinated by the river exploded through her veins, licking at the inside of her skin, seizing her breath and forcing a small moan. His lips moved across her mouth, firmer now, demanding and seeking. Then his tongue found hers, and all pretense of being on the verge of stopping vanished.

She closed her eyes and pressed against him. She wanted to slide inside his clothing like liquid, glide across his skin, surround him, dissolve and soak through his pores. Lose herself in tasting his otherness, receiving without judgment or even thought. She wanted to rip his clothes off, climb him like a monkey, and fuck his brains out.

She slid her hands under his T-shirt, raking her thumbnails over his nipples. He grunted and his hips jerked against hers. Pushing her against the porch railing, he slipped her tank top over her head and leaned her backwards, licking along the inside curves of her breasts as his fingers worked off her bra. She watched through half-slit eyes as he tongued one erect nipple, then covered it with his lips, sucking and pulling, each time a little harder. He scraped his teeth over the sensitive skin, whipping her need into a blistering demand.

Pushing him back and scrabbling at his shirt, she drew it over his head and reached for his belt. He grabbed her wrists and stepped forward, holding her arms to her sides as his mouth sought hers and plunged into another probing kiss.

She broke away, releasing a long shuddering breath. One last attempt at reason. She closed her eyes, forcing herself to concentrate.

“You’re married,” she managed to get out. What was her name again? “Gayle.”

Jamie went still, and she looked up into his steady brown gaze. He kissed her again, their eyes open, watching each other.

He drew his head back, his fingers now entwined in hers by their sides, his chest hot against her breasts. “I love her. But I can’t stop loving you because of that. You’re my … well, you’re my Merry.” Smiling, he moved a hand up and ran his thumb along her jaw. “It’s like you and I are something outside of things. Rules don’t exist for us. They just don’t apply. Even jealousy is silly. Because no matter who else we might be with, it slides off whatever you and I have.”

She wanted to believe him so badly it made her throat ache. She wrapped her arms around his neck, tugging at his earlobe with her teeth.

He nibbled her jaw in response, then trailed upward to her temple. She arched her neck, and he licked across the hollow of her throat, lingering on her collarbone for a moment before kneeling in front of her.

He pulled her boots off, first the right and then the left. Still kneeling, he unbuckled and unbuttoned and unzipped, drawing her jeans down and tossing them toward the end of the porch.

If anyone drove up now, they’d get one hell of a surprise, Merry thought, standing by the railing, stark naked in the slanting sunshine as Jamie stripped off his own jeans. She grinned at him, and he grinned back.

They moved together with informed ease. She scraped practiced fingernails down his back, and he hissed with pleasure. He smoothed his hands across her hips, cupping her ass and lifting her to the porch railing. Wrapping her legs around him, she arched one eyebrow and urged him forward with her heels. He resisted, pausing to slide his fingertips along the nerves behind her knees, smiling as her eyes widened.

He pushed into her then, with slow, savoring strokes, their tongues entwined. Each exquisite sensation building like an incoming tide. The railing groaned and creaked beneath her as their tempo took on a driving urgency.

They abandoned their kisses, their faces inches apart, eyes locked. The cords in Jamie’s neck stood out, his teeth clenched and his face flushed as he waited for her. Her beginning spasms spawned his own, and they clung together until the convulsions faded and their heartbeats slowed. An alfalfa-scented breeze cooled their sweat-covered skin.

“Good God,” Merry said.

“Uh huh.”

After several moments they disentangled, and Merry staggered inside. She returned with two couch cushions and placed them on the floor of the porch. They curled together there, watching Izzy graze in her pasture and listening to a Steller’s jay complain from the depths of the big maple.

She turned her head to murmur in his ear. “Thank you.”

He looked down at her with an expression of mild surprise, pulled her closer. “Jesus. All the shit you’ve been through. And nothing I could do to help.”

If he only knew. She wanted to tell him, but her throat was too clogged with relief and gratitude. They sat and watched the sun sink beyond the Bitterroot Mountains, Jamie running his fingers slowly through her hair while silent tears ran down her face.