SKILL 15
Optimism
Optimists believe that good events are frequent and long-lasting and that bad events are limited and temporary. Even if they have not found the solution to a problem, they’re certain it is just around the corner and that they have some control over the problem.
Optimism correlates closely with success. Merely the mention of this fact gets most people to sit up and take notice! “How can growing my optimism make me more successful?” they ask. Success is directly related to how we manage our expectations. However, the kind of success we experience depends on how we define it. People often think of money first and all the things it can buy. But before long they also include the more enduring factors, such as good health, a happy family, and a safe and prosperous community. Optimism can help us achieve all of these. But what is it?
Webster’s (1993) defines optimism as “a doctrine or opinion that reality is essentially good or completely good; or as good as it conceivably could be; an inclination to put the most favorable construction upon actions and happenings; to minimize adverse aspects, conditions, and possibilities, or to anticipate the best possible outcome.”
Martin Seligman (1990), author of Learned Optimism, points out that optimistic people tend to think of defeat as a temporary setback that is not their fault. A difficult situation can be reframed as a challenge . . . an opportunity to do something novel and innovative or as a call to try harder.
Bar-On (2002, p. 18) defines optimism as “the ability to look at the brighter side of life and to maintain a positive attitude even in the face of adversity. Optimism assumes a measure of hope in one’s approach to life. It is a positive approach to daily living. Optimism is the opposite of pessimism, which is a common symptom of depression.”
We act optimistically when we respond to good events with a positive attitude, believing they are permanent. We give ourselves messages such as “Life is good today because I’m making sure to get enough exercise and making a conscious effort to be friendly” rather than “Life is good today, but I don’t know why or what tomorrow will be like.” Furthermore, we respond to bad events with a specific explanation, framing the event as temporary. Thus, we would say, “My workload is pretty heavy right now, which means I’m almost to the point of hiring some help” rather than saying, “I am so busy and tired, I will never get out of this cycle of working too much.”
WHY SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT OPTIMISM?
As Seligman (2002, p. 128) writes, “Being optimistic brings about less depression, better physical health, and higher achievement, at a cost perhaps of less realism.” How many of those would you like to see more of in your life? All of them? Clearly, our lives will work better if we increase our optimism.
Optimists are much more likely to be survivors. Mark Jenkins (2003, p. 53) wrote about survivors, including Aron Ralston, the climber who was trapped in a slot canyon in Southern Utah and cut off his arm to save his life. Jenkins quotes Peter Suedfeld, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of British Columbia, as saying that “people under high stress are more likely to become rigid, which only decreases their chances of survival.” He continues by saying that, even in a jam, “survivors are extremely adaptable people. They know how to improvise. . . . They keep an open mind, searching for options, developing strategies.” Notice that this brings together several subscales in the EQ-i, all of which influence the effectiveness of optimism, and that optimism, in turn, influences the effectiveness of other skills. Certainly emotional intelligence is much more successful when our skills are well integrated!
Optimism is also linked to improved physical health, as demonstrated by an American Psychological Association report on a study in 1995 and 1996 by Martin Seligman and Gregory Buchanan. They worked with two groups of university freshmen who were inclined toward depression and volunteered to participate in the research. One group had no training; the other group participated in a workshop on cognitive coping skills. The group with training reported fewer adverse mental health concerns, as well as fewer physical problems, and was more active in getting checkups to maintain their health (American Psychological Association, 1997). The excellent results these types of studies cite are enough to inspire many to do the work it takes to develop and maintain a truly good attitude!
BE SOLUTION FOCUSED
- Focus on the possibilities and the answer rather than on the problem.
- Be grateful. Go out of your way to be thankful. Make sure you express gratitude at least ten times a day.
Possibly the most critical aspect of developing optimism is learning that you have a choice about your attitude. Many people think they are born optimists or pessimists and that it is something they just have to live with. Not so! Cognitive development strategies such as learning to dispute negative statements make a big difference. If your clients have a tendency to evaluate a bad event as permanent, help them learn to challenge themselves and change the message. As they will find by implementing the exercises in Part Three, they can change their lives by learning to give themselves more optimistic messages. Imagine the impact this attitude has on developing self-regard. Naturally, the more positive we feel about our capabilities, the more positive we feel about ourselves as a whole. This is one of the many examples of the multiple connections among the sixteen skills.
Another valuable strategy is to expand gratitude. What are you grateful for right now? Stop, take a breath, and name five things. Right now! We really mean it! Stop right now before you read any further and list five things you are grateful for. We guarantee your state just changed if you did this quick exercise, as it will every time you do it! Now your attitude is more open and positive and ready to move forward with helping your clients to avail themselves of the many opportunities in this book.
Increasing your optimism may very well change every part of your life—and we do not make such broad, sweeping statements carelessly! You will find data on the positive effects of optimism, for example, in Learned Optimism (Seligman, 1990), and much more in Authentic Happiness (Seligman, 2002), Flourish (Seligman, 2011), The EQ Edge (Stein & Book, 2011), the Positive Psychology Center at www.positivepsychology.org, and the Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations at www.eiconsortium.org. There is so much research supporting this statement that we can confidently assert that the business case for optimism is robust and convincing. The cost-benefit ratio is top-notch. For very little investment, your clients can learn to change their thoughts to more positive ones, which will result in better heath and in better engagement with others. What our clients believe is manifested through the messages they give themselves. Their self-talk has an enormous influence on what their future reality will become.
STAR PERFORMERNelson Mandela has been hailed by many as one of the most inspirational leaders in the world. Mandela was willing to be imprisoned for years if that’s what it took to achieve the right result. He continually held out the possibility, even the probability, of the high-level transformation he envisioned. His undying optimism led him and his country to an entirely new way of being together with much greater respect for all. His service as president of South Africa rallied his people’s optimistic belief that the hurdles could be handled successfully. He gave people the courage to show up and vote and to continue participating in their government.
REEL PERFORMERThe Wizard of Oz is a treasure of characters learning to believe there are answers to the problems they face. Dorothy is the leader. This child’s “can do” optimism in the face of her own great challenge inspires the Tin Man, Scarecrow, and Cowardly Lion to face their fears and achieve what they truly desire.
After a tornado in Kansas knocks her unconscious, Dorothy finds herself in the Land of Oz. She is encouraged to be optimistic that she can find her way home by the good Witch of the North, who says she must travel to find the Wizard of Oz. On meeting Scarecrow, she draws on her growing reservoir of optimism and convinces him the Wizard will help him find what he most desires, a brain. She next inspires the Lion to believe that he will find courage and the Tin Man to believe that he will find a heart.
They go through many trials getting to the Wizard just to learn that he is a phony. However, in the midst of this challenge, each one recognizes that acting as if he or she would get what was most wanted actually caused him or her to develop the desired skill. If we are feeling deeply challenged, even scared, we suspect that Dorothy would advise us to remember that we just don’t know the answer yet. If we will just act as if we are confident that the problem will be resolved, our faithful action will make it so! Finally, she’d advise us to focus our intention and willingness while we click our heels and say, “There’s no place like home!”