EXERCISE 1.4
Self-Regard
Toot Your Horn and Scratch Your Back
Purpose
To encourage people to give themselves a break. To shift the focus away from all the things they need to accomplish in the future and the things they regret not accomplishing in the past. To zero in on the successes they have had—small and large. To identify what they are not giving themselves enough credit for and to celebrate their accomplishments.
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25 to 45 minutes
Facilitator or coach provides a list of the different roles people may play throughout their lives and asks participants to identify the areas that apply to them. They articulate the good things they have done in those areas and celebrate their accomplishments. The facilitator may need to help participants surface their successes and view them as accomplishments.
Outcomes
- Greater self-appreciation
- Enhanced self-regard
Audience
- Intact team
- Unaffiliated group
Facilitator Competencies 
Easy
Materials
- Aspect and Roles Handout
- Back scratchers, whistles, toy horns, or noisemakers and bags to keep them in
- Tissue paper to cover contents of bags
Time Matrix
| Activity | Estimated Time |
| Discuss self-regard | 5–10 minutes |
| Select areas and list accomplishments | 5–10 minutes |
| Discussion in pairs | 10–15 minutes |
| Debrief and celebrate | 5–10 minutes |
| Total | 25 to 45 minutes |
Instructions
1. Have people sitting in table groups with an even number of people at each table.
2. In the center of each table have two bags:
- Bag containing back scratchers
- Bag containing whistles, horns, or noisemakers
Make it evident that something is being hidden to create curiosity.
3. Distribute the Aspects and Roles Handout.
4. Discuss self-regard. Ask participants whether they ever find themselves focusing so much on what they want to accomplish that they forget to stop and appreciate the small everyday successes they have had.
5. Ask participants to check off those categories on the Aspects and Roles Handout that pertain to them. Ask them these questions:
- Which of these types of groups do you participate in?
- Are you ever in any of these roles?
6. Have them select three areas and list things they have accomplished in each area. Give them examples such as the following:
- Work—individual, project, or team success; help another employee, help your boss, help develop or coach an employee; assume a new responsibility
- Home—clean the house, cook, do repairs, pay bills, decorate, make it safe
- Health—exercise, watch diet, do special things to mitigate a particular disease or condition, sleep, meditate
7. Ask them to divide into pairs (or threes if necessary) and take turns sharing their accomplishments. When listening to the other person’s accomplishments, each should provide positive feedback such as “great job” and “that was a lot to get done.” Tell them they don’t need to share anything they feel is too personal.
8. Reconvene the group and debrief by asking:
- Did anything surprising happen? Any a-ha’s?
- Did you realize you have been overlooking things you achieved?
9. Have them take a few moments to appreciate themselves:
- Retrieve the back scratchers and have them scratch their own backs. An alternative would be to have them pat themselves on the back (their own backs).
- Retrieve the whistles, horns, or noisemakers from the bag and have them toot their own horns!
10. Ask them to take their back scratchers and noisemakers with them and use them as reminders to stop and appreciate themselves.
| ____ Team | ____ Friend |
| ____ Work | ____ Spouse |
| ____ Home | ____ Child |
| ____ Health | ____ Employee |
| ____ Church | ____ Boss |
| ____ Community | ____ Citizen |
| ____ Parent |
List your accomplishments in three of the preceding roles or areas.
1. ________________________________________________________ (selected area)
2. ________________________________________________________ (selected area)
3. ________________________________________________________ (selected area)