EXERCISE 7.1
Interpersonal Relationships
Investment in Friends
Purpose
To take personally reflective time to evaluate the value of friendships in life and set priorities for the future.
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45 minutes
Participants are guided to write about the roles of friends and friendship in their lives and then to discuss the value of friendships, the priorities they choose for how they are living their lives, and their related goals for the next year.
Outcomes
- Become aware of the role and value of friendships in their lives
- Set a realistic goal for the role friendships will have for them over the next year
Audience
- Intact teams
- Unaffiliated group
- Individual working with a coach
Facilitator Competencies 
Easy
Materials
- Paper and pens
Time Matrix
| Activity | Estimated Time |
| Explain exercise | 5 minutes |
| Give writing instructions and time to write | 15 minutes |
| Discuss | 15 minutes |
| Goal-writing | 10 minutes |
| Total Time | 45 minutes |
Instructions
1. Give participants paper and pens and tell them you will ask them to write about a few different items that will help them explore the role friends and friendship play in their lives. Emphasize that this exercise is intended to aid personal reflection and awareness; it is not to be used for judging oneself. It can help them make more personally satisfying decisions in their lives. Give them a few minutes for each of the topics. Watch, and when they stop writing and reflecting, move to the next question. Do not give them a handout with all the questions written out, as this can cause them to answer early questions in order to match the answers they think they should give for later questions.
2. Ask them to do the following:
- First, ask them to write the heading “My Friends” and then list the names of friends who come to mind. Don’t give them any further direction, this is for them to define and clarify. Give them a few minutes to write.
- Second, ask them to write “Define Friend” and then write their own definitions. Their definitions can be as concise or detailed and differentiating as they wish. Give them a few minutes to write.
- Third, ask them to write the sentence stems below and to complete each of the statements:
“Friends are important at work because . . . ”
“Friends are important in my personal life because . . . ”
“Friends are important in my whole life because . . . ”
“My best friends are ‘best’ because . . . ”
Give them a few minutes to write.
- Fourth, ask them to write “How I Prioritize My Life” on their paper and then write about how they feel about the time they allocate to friends, to work, to family, and to any other key parts of their lives. Encourage them to be realistic while also noticing whether their task lists with all the objective “to do’s” ends up running more of their lives than they would prefer in the future. You can ask whether they get caught up in checking items off the list instead of playing or engaging with friends. Give them more time to answer this question than the others. You want to encourage reflective awareness.
3. Bring the group together for a discussion, working with the topics from their writing. Questions you might ask include:
- How did you define friends?
- Is the definition different for extroverts and introverts? Do Facebook or other social media friends count?
- Why are friends important at work, in your personal life, or overall?
- How do you feel about how you prioritize the time you give to friendship? Do you want to make changes?
- How much is enough? People often tend to think any good part of their lives should be bigger. Yet we all have twenty-four hours a day; it’s a question of how we allocate our time.
4. You might also want to note that Interpersonal Relations, of which our friends are a major component, is a part of the Well-Being Indicator on the EQ-i2.0, which is a recognition that there is a direct link between our friendships and our personal happiness. Ask for their thoughts on this connection.
5. Ask them to write about one more topic, “My Priority for Friendship for the Next Year,” and to reflect on their goals for the next year. Remind them to be realistic. You don’t want them to set themselves up to fail.
Note: This exercise can be used well with Exercise 2.1 under Self-Actualization, where individuals create their 2% project and with Exercise 16.1 under Happiness/Well-Being.