PART TWO
Exploring Emotional Intelligence and Well-Being Skills
Part Two provides a description of each of the sixteen emotional skills that combine to make up social and emotional intelligence according to the EQ-i2.0 model (the other models have similarities in their depiction of emotional intelligence, and their list of skills can be found in the Cross-Reference Matrix in Chapter 2).
The descriptions of each skill begin with a section entitled What Is It?, in which we define the skill. Following that is a section called Why Should We Care About It? Here we point out both the advantages that strength in this skill gives and the disadvantages we may experience if it is a weaker area. Next we provide a section called How Can We Build It? This starts with a tip to help develop the skill or appreciate what makes it valuable and provides the specific instruction necessary for increasing skillfulness in this area. In the section called Transformational Benefits, we discuss how building this particular competency into a strength can transform one’s experience of life, increasing the level of satisfaction and effectiveness.
STARS AND MOVIES
One of the best ways to learn is by looking for role models who practice a skill, so for each skill, we have a section naming a Star Performer and a section labeled Reel Performer, in which we list a movie that demonstrates the concept. All are listed in Table 2.1. Have fun and think of your own stars and movies!
Table 2.1. Stars and Movies
| EI SKILL | STAR | MOVIE |
| Self-Regard | Doris Lessing | The Good Girl |
| Self-Actualization | Viktor Frankl | It’s a Wonderful Life |
| Emotional Self-Awareness | Maya Angelou | Frost/Nixon |
| Emotional Expression | T.S. Eliot | Jack Goes Boating |
| Assertiveness | Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. | 12 Angry Men |
| Independence | Mahatma Ghandi | The Matrix; Norma Rae |
| Interpersonal Relations | Dalai Lama | Something’s Got to Give |
| Empathy | Mother Teresa | Terms of Endearment |
| Social Responsibility | Jimmy Carter | Remember the Titans |
| Problem Solving | William Ury | The King’s Speech |
| Reality Testing | Hillary Rodham Clinton | The Hurt Locker |
| Impulse Control | Georgia O’Keefe | To Kill a Mockingbird |
| Flexibility | Meryl Streep | Lilies of the Field |
| Stress Tolerance | Tom Hanks | Precious |
| Optimism | Nelson Mandela | The Wizard of Oz |
| Happiness/Well-Being | Dame Julia Elizabeth Andrews | Happythankyoumoreplease |