71 Towers of Terror

You just moved into your dream neighborhood only to find your most hated rival has purchased a tower right next to yours. Open conflict would destroy the universe, so you settle the score by building a house designed to annoy him. Make choices to participate in a supernatural neighborhood rivalry.

 Your distaste for this person knows no bounds. Roll a d6 to discover that it stems from:

1 A lifelong rivalry

2 A comment you thought you overheard at a party

3 The cosmic game of chess you play against each other through surrogates and servants

4 His ostentatious and self-important manner of dress

5 A flippantly critical review of your autobiographical epic poem

6 You actually can’t remember, but this rivalry has been going on too long to stop now

 He is a . . . (roll a d6 or write in your own idea)

Race	Class	Alignment
1 Draconic 2 Undead 3 Aberration 4 Elvish 5 Noble-blooded 6 Fey	1 Paladin 2 Mind tyrant 3 Lich king 4 Socialite 5 Author 6 Bard	1 Lawful good 2 Lawful evil 3 Chaotic neutral 4 Wet blanket 5 New Age 6 Libertarian

 You cannot move your home because . . .

1 You have a perfect view of the lake

2 You just found a tile that really works in the master bathroom

3 This house has been in your family for generations

4 This was land appointed to you by the crown

5 You hear big moves can be stressful for hirelings

6 You won’t give him the satisfaction

In order to drive him away, you have to engineer your home to offend his sensibilities. If you can add six offensive elements to your home, you will be successful. However, if your additions exceed twenty points, you’ll be blocked by the homeowner’s association (HOA) and forced to live near your most hated rival forever.

 Roll for random additions with a point cost equal to the roll.

Animals	Noise
1 Install a bird feeder on your road verge 2 Become a hobbyist beekeeper 3 Adopt ten large beagles 4 Begin raising endangered screaming butterflies 5 Gift him a white elephant 6 Hire a pied piper to attract rats and children to his yard	1 Learn the saxophone 2 Teach tap dancing in your backyard 3 Open an all-seasons caroling club 4 Breed hydrangeas that sing at sunrise 5 Host weekly fireworks viewings in your backyard 6 Hold group therapy meetings for at-risk banshees

View	Sabotage
1 Construct a fence on your property to inhibit his view of the lake 2 Paint the shutters facing his house a ghastly yellow 3 Introduce horrific abominations to the lake that cause madness on sight 4 Install a series of glass orb decorations that always reflect light into his windows 5 Commission a twenty-foot marble nude statue of yourself for your backyard 6 Cast a See Invisible spell on his windows and host swingers’ parties for ghosts on your property	1 Teleport a faulty septic system onto his property 2 Enchant the mirrors in his house to reflect him as he truly is 3 Pay every cleaning service in the area not to work with him 4 Hire dwarfs to engineer a sinkhole on his property 5 Open a portal to the shadow realm in his pantry 6 Fill his pipes with water elementals who reduce his water pressure
Social	Natural
1 Host parties he is not invited to 2 Write and produce a hit musical at the local theater satirizing his life 3 Convince your neighbors your rival hates dogs 4 Become a board member of the HOA and question every decision he makes with his property 5 Organize street festivals to celebrate food he is allergic to 6 Send invitations to a party in his house	1 Hex his grass to grow at an accelerated rate until it exceeds HOA standards 2 Convince local deer to target his garden 3 Hire a cloud to constantly hover over his property to block sunlight 4 Make the east wind continually knock over his trash cans 5 Resurrect the wood in his home so it grows and warps the house 6 Perform a ritual to give the winter lord domain over his property