Joey wasn’t sure what to do. The more he thought about it, the guiltier he felt for even bringing his situation to Stacey’s attention. But he couldn’t shake the feeling she would make the perfect mother to his child, and they could one day live a nice life together.
But it didn’t stop him from thinking about her beliefs. He didn’t want her doing anything she wasn’t comfortable with. Knowing a wife had certain… duties to her husband was a little too much for him to take in, and he couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t ask more of her if they were married. A marriage of convenience could quickly turn into a marriage of demands. The physical attraction he felt for Stacey was gigantic compared to anything he’d ever felt, even with Cameron.
With Cameron, he’d felt an emotional attachment. He’d fallen into the trap people called love, which he’d discovered soon enough was a farce. With Stacey, it was just different. It was hard for him to put a name to what he felt for her, but he knew it wasn’t just lust. But it wasn’t love either. He was certainly attracted her, as well. A fact which had taken him by surprise. She might have duct tape on her glasses and wear shapeless clothes fit for a grandma, but the few times he’d held her and touched her, he knew she was anything but shapeless.
Which brought him back to his original problem. He couldn’t ask her to do something that went against her beliefs. He was a cad; he admitted it. He’d slept around too much during college, made the wrong decisions and was now paying the price for it. Should he make Stacey pay for his sins, too?
Shame filled him when he thought about the tough times drawing him closer to God. He wasn’t an overly religious man, but these last six months had brought him to his knees and his eyes to his Bible. And he respected the fact Stacey was a devout Christian. Truth be told, he didn’t really believe in divorce either, especially after reading so much of the scriptures, but as he’d told Stacey last night, he was left with no other option. His lawyer had advised him to get his life right and find a steady income and a hobby.
Only by hobby, his lawyer meant wife. He’d never come right out and said it, but the undertones had certainly left little to the imagination.
Shame also filled him at the thought he’d let his attraction to Stacey get out of hand. Several times now he’d mauled her and said things to make her blush. Again, the attraction thing was bound to get out of control if they were married.
Filled with resolution, he crossed the street for the second time that day. He needed to apologize and tell Stacey how sorry he was for everything.
His hand was poised to knock, but the door flew open before he had a chance. Her hair was a rumpled heap on top of her head and her eyes were puffy. Tear stains on her cheeks caused his stomach to lurch.
“Stace…” he muttered and pulled her into his arms. “I’m so sorry.”
Her somberness scared him a little. He pulled back to look at her, but nothing in her face revealed her feelings.
“I’m sorry, Stacey. I shouldn’t have involved you with my problems. You just lost your grandfather and here I am trying to convince you to marry me. Hardly fair, huh?”
“I’ll marry you, Joey. But I have conditions.”
Joey’s heart stopped then started again with a great thump against his chest. “What?”
“I said I’ll marry you.”
“I can’t ask that of you, Stace. I took advantage, and I shouldn’t have.”
“No, you’re right. You shouldn’t have. But you did. And I’m saying yes.”
He stooped and looked into her eyes, which bore a hole through his chest. “Why?”
“I was orphaned once, when my parents died. And I know how important it is to stay with family. I’d like to help your baby.”
He noted how she didn’t say she’d like to help him, which clued him in she still had her reservations.
“What about your beliefs on divorce?”
“That’s one of my conditions. No divorce.”
Joey stood speechless for a second. “What do you mean, no divorce?”
“It might be a marriage of convenience, but if you’re so convinced we’re the perfect equation for a happy life together, then prove it. No divorce. Ever.”
“I… I can’t promise that.”
“You said you weren’t a liar, Joey. If you stand before me, a preacher, and God and promise things you never intend to keep, you’re a liar.”
She had a point. So what reason would he ever have to divorce? If one of them fell in love, maybe. But it wouldn’t be him.
“What if you meet someone you fall in love with? You were right last night. I can’t keep you from your life. This isn’t fair.” He released her, torn between his obligations to do right for everyone involved in this mess.
“I won’t fall in love with anyone, Joe. Love doesn’t exist remember? I guess we’re a lot alike. People don’t love girls like me.”
From most girls, he might have thought it was a ploy for attention, but the dejected look on Stacey’s face told him she truly believed the words.
In an instant, she was in his arms. He wasn’t sure how she got there so quickly again, but he did know it was all his doing. The one thing he wanted to do for Stacey was protect her from herself. Once they were married, he’d make sure she had the confidence she needed to get on with her life.
With or without him.
****
Stacey tried to pull away from Joey, but his grip was too tight. So instead, she inhaled his scent, outdoorsy and comforting. In a way, it reminded her of Papa.
It was easy to believe a life with Joey could be good. He always seemed to do the right things, say the right things, hold her the right way… But marriage was the tie that seemed to break a couple’s perfect relationship. Once she was married to Joey, she held no illusion things would stay the same as they were now. He’d have what he wanted.
And at this particular moment, helping him was what she wanted. Helping a child know its father and having a chance to become a mother herself was what she needed. She was best at taking care of people, and an infant could certainly take her mind off her own woes.
“Joey…” She pushed at his chest. She didn’t want his pity.
“Don’t let go yet,” he murmured in her ear.
“This isn’t the part where you tell me how happy I’ve made you. I’m not stupid.”
“I wasn’t going to say that.”
“And this isn’t the part where you kiss me and take me to bed for us to celebrate.” A knot formed in Stacey’s throat, and she shoved it down with a thick swallow. What she said was exactly what she’d always envisioned.
“I wasn’t going to do that, either.”
“And this isn’t the part where you lie to me and tell me you love me.”
“I wasn’t going to.”
Nope. Stacey was going to fight the tears. Think of the baby. The sweet baby she’d be able to raise.
“What were you going to do then?” she demanded, lifting her chin and shrugging out of Joey’s arms.
For a moment, she thought Joey was going to cry, too. His eyes grew suspiciously bright just before he looked away.
“I was going to say thank you, Stacey.” His eyes settled on hers again, clear and focused. “Thank you.”
It was all that needed to be said. With a nod, Stacey stepped to the door and opened it, fingering her glasses up on her nose with the other hand.
Just as Stacey thought she’d be free of him for a little while, he paused just in front of her. “How do you want to do this? Courthouse? Justice of the peace? Small ceremony? Vegas?” She heard the smile in his voice but kept her eyes averted. Fear consumed her. If she looked at him, she’d get cold feet.
“No to Vegas,” she said. Then she shrugged. “What if we just had something simple here in my back yard?”
“Perfect,” he whispered. She watched in horror as his hand rose and nudged her chin upward. Somewhere along the way she closed her eyes, unable and unwilling to look at him. His soft lips, a simple pressing of flesh together and the tender swipe of his thumb against her cheek, left her reeling. They had to set some ground rules before they pulled the trigger.
Stacey opened her eyes and took a deep breath, ready to tell him what she was thinking.
But he was already gone.
****
Cold feet. Joey could explain away his thought process by telling everyone he had cold feet. His mother might have loved the idea of Stacey and him getting married, but the more he thought about it, the more real it became. He was going to have a wife in a matter of hours. And he was going to be a husband. With responsibility. And in a few weeks, he would add father to the growing list.
He wasn’t ready. No amount of preparation, reading Mars and Venus, or even praying about it was going to help him.
The fact was Stacey Ingram scared the wits out of him. Not because she was going to be his wife, but she seemed to reside in the little corner of his heart that hadn’t been wrapped in the chains he’d carefully constructed after Cameron. He didn’t love Stacey, doubted he ever would, but she made him feel.
And feeling again terrified him, even if it was a feeling that wasn’t altogether unpleasant.
Stacey didn’t expect anything from him, which was refreshing, but he sure did owe her a lot. He didn’t know another woman on the planet who would sacrifice her own happiness to help him get his baby. Except maybe his mom.
And that was something he refused to dwell on.
Inside the small room where he waited for the signal to go outside and meet his bride, he ran his fingers through his hair and paced. The room took exactly seven steps to get across. The ceiling had two water spots he’d need to take care of once they were back from their honeymoon. And there were thirty-nine books lining the shelves of the small bookcase, all romantic classics he knew Stacey favored.
His heart pounded, and he could hear the steady whoosh of the blood in his ears. What a mess he’d gotten himself into.
The last few weeks had blown by like a feather in hurricane winds. He’d worked, spent time with Stacey, paid bills he’d found statements for, and helped his mother plan a small ceremony in Stacey’s backyard. Which was currently underway.
“It’s time,” his mother said softly from the cracked door. “You ready?”
“Can one ever be ready for something so life changing?” he countered, straightening his tie and pulling at his jacket.
“I don’t know, but we’re about to find out.” She entered the room and closed it with a quiet click. “Stacey is a beautiful girl. She’s loved you since you two were little.”
Joey wanted to argue, say Stacey had better sense than to love someone like him. The truth was she barely knew him. But here she was, offering her entire life to him without anything in return. “I know, Mom. I just need to get through this without thinking too much. The last thing I want to do is hurt her. She deserves a lot more than what I can give her.”
“Don’t sell yourself so short, Joseph. You two are going to be just fine.”
He wished he had his mother’s confidence. He’d take a tenth of it, even.
She walked to him and placed her palm on his cheek. “You’re all grown up now. You’re about to be a father. Remember yourself. I raised you to always do the right thing. Go out there, look Stacey in the eyes and promise her you’ll always be there and you’ll always love her. You might think love is this overpowering feeling, but the reality is, years down the road, feelings eventually go away, and you’re left with a choice. That’s where you do the right thing. You choose to love her. Even if she wakes up looking like Medusa and has dragon breath, you remember what she’s done for you and your baby today.”
The lump in his throat dissolved as tears filled his eyes. “What about Cameron, Mom? As much as I never want to see her again, I can’t stop thinking I’m going to hurt her by taking the baby. I loved her. A part of me still loves her. But I don’t want to feel obligated anymore. I want to focus on Stacey, to try and make something of this, but Cameron keeps creeping back in when I least expect it.”
His mother gave him a look he’d seen years ago when he’d cut his hair with a pair of school scissors. A mix between amusement and horror.
“Cameron made her choice, and it wasn’t you,” she said. Her smile softened the blow her words should have caused.
With a small nod, he walked to the door. She opened her arms, and he fell into them, leaning into the strength she gave him. He might have been a fool all these years to never listen to her, but he’d gotten his life all wrong because of it. Now, he was going to do what was right, make her proud and make Stacey proud to have him for a husband.
“Your daddy is walking Stacey down the aisle,” his mother whispered. “And she looks beautiful.”
Joey thought of her duct-taped glasses and gave a wry smile. “I can’t wait to see her.”
Even if she was wearing her customary pajamas, there was no way she could ever be anything but beautiful to him.
After walking down the aisle, he turned and looked out over the crowd. They’d both chosen not to have attendants in the wedding, so it was just him and the minister standing there. A crowd of about twenty-five people sat in the audience, all his family. Stacey had said she didn’t have anyone to invite. The thought tugged at his heart. He had so many people to call family and friends. Stacey only had him. Another responsibility he was acquiring. He would literally be everything to her.
A moment later, his mother stood, as did the rest of the crowd. At the end, a girl in a white, modest dress stood on his father’s arm. As he looked at her, he realized she actually wore a wedding dress. He wasn’t sure how she’d come up with the money for it or where she’d gotten it, but she was a vision.
The dress hugged her curves up top, but revealed nothing but her shape. At the waist, the white dressed flared and fell down to the ground. The light from the sunset glistened off diamond earrings and an elaborate necklace draped around her neck. He recognized them from his mother’s wedding photos.
In her hand, she carried a simple bouquet. He didn’t know what kind of flowers were in it, but they were in typical fall colors. As his eyes rose to her face, she began to walk toward him. She tripped a little on her dress and shot his father an apologetic smile.
Then their eyes met. It was then he realized her glasses weren’t on her face. Could she see him? The way she stared at him told him she could. Why didn’t she always wear contacts?
Her hair was piled in loose curls on the top of her head, and little pearls were woven in. She was something, and at that moment, he felt like the luckiest man in the world.
As his gaze settled once again on her, he saw the hesitation in her eyes in the way they darted just past him. A small blush pinked her cheeks, and finally her gaze fell to her bouquet and stayed there until she and her father reached him.
“Who gives this woman?” the minister asked.
“I do,” his father announced and placed Stacey’s hand in Joey’s. Ice-cold fingers gripped him.
“Relax,” Joey whispered with a smile as his father walked away and the crowd seated themselves.
“I can’t.”
Joey locked eyes with her and refused to let her look away. He squeezed her hands and then rubbed them briskly with his thumb, trying to stimulate the blood flow again.
Finally, just as the audience quieted, he said, “You look beautiful, Stacey.”
“Thank you.”
But he could tell she didn’t believe him. With another squeeze of her hand, he said it again, this time a little louder.
She grinned, another pretty blush creeping up her cheeks.
With a sigh, Joey resolved he’d have to make sure she believed him later. The minister cleared his throat, and Joey nodded for him to begin.
Within moments, a time frame Joey considered far too small to promise his life to someone, they were officially Mr. and Mrs.
“You can kiss your bride now, Joey.”
Stacey was already practically glowing red by the time he turned to her, intent on sealing their deal with a kiss she wouldn’t forget. But the terrified look in her eyes told him to treat her the way she deserved to be treated. With dignity and respect.
So he pressed his lips against hers and stayed there only for a moment before pulling away.
As he did so, she touched her mouth with her fingers in true diva fashion to make sure he hadn’t smeared her lipstick. He grinned. Her lips kicked upward, and she reached up to remove some of her lipstick from his mouth. Already acting like a wife.
The thought caught him unaware, but the applauding crowd diverted his attention as the minister announced them.
Joey couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face anymore than he could stop the joy spreading in his heart.