I’m not a big fan of being used. Megan’s statement bounced around my mind, and I did my best to hide my instinctive flinch.
“Intelligent and beautiful,” I muttered before my brain could lock the observation behind my lips.
Her gaze dropped away as color slid into her cheeks, and she sipped from her mug. They weren’t empty words, but part of me wished they weren’t so true. Her sharp mind existed behind an understated beauty that deepened with exposure, and there was no denying a good heart beat at her center—a heart that would be easily damaged if Wolf discovered she was someone’s weapon. Knowing that and hearing her easy acceptance of the whole fucked-up situation pissed me off and added to my feeling of guilt. In the end, it might not be the faceless enemy she needed to worry about but me. No matter how intriguing she was, if she threatened the team, I’d have to deal with it. I wouldn’t like it, but I’d do it.
On the counter near the stove, her phone rang, shattering the tension. Being closer to it than she was, I could see the colonel’s name on the screen. Straightening, I picked up the phone and handed it to her.
“Hello?” She moved to the living room as she answered, but with the apartment’s open main room and kitchen, there was no way to avoid eavesdropping. “He will? Great.” A pause. “Uh-huh.” Another pause. “Okay, sure, that should work.”
Guessing that we would be heading to Wolf’s soon, I gathered up our breakfast dishes and took them to the sink, multitasking by rinsing them off while listening to Megan’s side of the conversation.
“Go ahead and text it to me, just in case… okay, right, will do.” Her tone softened. “Colonel, thank you… uh-huh. Bye.”
I put the plates in the dishwasher, pulled the hand towel from the oven’s handle, and turned to find Megan standing at the counter, a small frown on her face as she stared at her phone. I asked, “You okay?”
Her head came up as she focused on me instead of whatever was running through her mind. She gave a forced smile. “Wolf agreed to meet at eleven at his place. Delacourt said you knew his address.”
Even though it wasn’t a question, I nodded and tucked the hand towel back in place. “Yeah, I know where it is.”
She worried her bottom lip.
“Megan?” I waited until she looked at me before continuing. “You still want to do this?” When she nodded, I pressed, “Then what’s wrong?”
She wouldn’t meet my eyes as she answered, “I thought we’d be meeting at HQ.”
It took a moment for understanding to dawn, and when it did, I closed the distance between us and took her hand, phone and all. “If meeting at Wolf’s place makes you uncomfortable, I can ask him to meet us at the office.” I brushed the underside of her wrist with my thumb, subtly checking her pulse. It was a little fast but not too worrying.
“No, it’s fine.” Instead of pulling her hand free, she used the other to rub over her face as she blew out a long breath and met my eyes. “It’s fine. I don’t know why I’m reacting like this. It’s not like…” Seeming to regain her composure, she gave me a game smile that held for a second before fading into a worried frown. “Besides, you’ll be there.”
“Yes, I will, but cut yourself some slack.” I squeezed her hand then let her go. “You have every right to be nervous about this.” Honestly, I had a few nerves of my own. “If it helps, you won’t be the only woman there. Chances are high that Meli will be home.”
Her frown eased. “Meli?”
“Wolf’s girlfriend. You’ll like her. And she’ll like you.”
I wasn’t just blowing smoke to ease Megan’s concerns. Unlike the more dramatic and dominant women on our team, Meli was open and accepting. Meli, like Megan, radiated an easy acceptance of others as she tackled what life threw at her without complaint. Wolf adored Meli and not just because her mind was one of the few he couldn’t read. And it was crystal clear that Meli reciprocated that adoration.
Megan’s small smile eased the lines bracketing her eyes and mouth. “What? You can see the future now?”
Joining her move to lighten the mood, I waggled my eyebrows and intoned with an Eastern European accent, “The winds of fortune indicate good things.”
She gave a soft giggle that hit me in unexpected places. “Before those winds change, I’ll go get ready.”
I watched her walk away, my gaze dropping to her ass, and my inappropriate reaction hardened into unmistakable want. Damn. She was under my skin. Forcing myself to turn away from the mesmerizing sight, I braced my hands on the counter and blew out a hard breath. When her door clicked shut, ensuring she wouldn’t hear me, I muttered, “Get your shit together, man.”
Being around her, I forgot why proceeding with caution was necessary, which made her even more dangerous than anticipated. It took a minute or three before I could move without hurting myself. No matter how much my brain warned that this was the wrong damn time, I couldn’t ignore the fact that my need to explore the temptation Megan presented might outweigh the risks involved.
I was so fucked.
Megan emerged from her doctor’s office, waving a piece of paper. I rose from the butt-numbing chair I’d been planted in for the last forty minutes and tossed aside the months-old sports magazine. She came right up to me, stopping only when a couple of inches separated us, and grinned. “I’m free!”
“No more appointments?”
She shook her head, sending her dark ponytail flying. “No poking and prodding for another six months.” Based on the happiness lighting her face, I could tell her relief was off the charts. Her hands flattened against my chest, the paper in her hand caught between us, and her nose wrinkled. “If only it was this easy with my therapist.”
With temptation so close, resistance was futile. Not even the threat of Wolf confirming that she was a sleeper agent, and the shit that entailed, could stop my fascination with her. My hands went to her hips, and I bent down to press a quick kiss to her forehead. “Hang in there, grasshopper. That, too, will come.”
Lifting my head, I discovered a million and one emotions swirling in the blue depths of her eyes. Instead of voicing them, she managed a shaky smile. “Promise?”
I raised my right hand and held up three fingers. “Scout’s honor.”
The shakiness disappeared, and her smile went full blown as she tilted her head. “You were a scout?”
“Once upon a time.” I shifted my hold until I could hook my arm around her waist, gently directing her toward the door. Then I used one hand to hold the door open.
She turned to look at me as she walked through. “Sounds like there’s a story there.”
There was, but it wasn’t pretty. I shrugged. “Not really.” As I followed her out of the medical center, I pulled my sunglasses down over my eyes.
She stopped in the shaded overhang of the doorway and pulled out her phone. “Hang on a second.” Her fingers flew over the keyboard, then she was tucking it away. “Okay, daily check-in complete.”
Taken possession by a green-eyed monster, I tried not to snarl. “Check-in with whom?”
She shot me a look over her shoulder, feminine amusement plain on her face. “My mom.”
Relief snuffed out that weird spurt of jealousy. “Cool.” Determined to regain my balance, I put my hand at the small of her back as we headed toward the parking garage across the street. “Now that you’re free, does this mean we have to flip a coin to decide who’s driving?”
That earned me a muffled giggle. “I don’t know. I think I could get used to having a driver at my beck and call.”
I gave a snort. “Uh-uh. More like you just don’t want to deal with traffic.”
We hit the crosswalk at the four-way stop. Midmorning on a workweek, the street was quiet. Unfortunately, that didn’t translate to available curbside parking. Hence, we had to hoof it to the multi-level parking structure on the other side of the street. At least we didn’t have to pay for parking since the gate arms were up. Remembering our odd moment with the selfie guy, I scanned our surroundings for anything unusual but fortunately came up empty.
She kept pace as she settled her sunglasses in place. “Who would want to drive around here? It’s a freakin’ nightmare.”
I couldn’t argue with that. We made it across before I changed the subject. “You want to stop and pick up something to eat before we hit Wolf’s?” My tension ebbed as we stepped inside the parking garage. Somewhere on the level above us, an engine came to life.
She thought about it for a whole second, maybe two, then shook her head. “No, I’m good, thanks.”
We were closing in on the car and I’d fished the keys out of my pocket to beep the locks when the rev of an engine echoed through the dim parking structure. I turned and caught a flash of movement bearing down on us. Headlights seared across my eyes, blinding me for a crucial moment. Wrapping my arm around Megan’s waist, I jerked her close and dove toward the narrow space between my Jeep and a nearby sedan. Megan’s startled “Eep!” was muffled against my chest as I turned to keep her protected. My hip hit the unforgiving metal of the sedan as I kept twisting, stopping when a side mirror tried to impale itself in my back. I got a hand on the sedan’s roof as I tried to focus on the blurry image of the retreating car. All I got was a dark four-door vehicle before the brake lights flashed, and I heard the squeal of rubber on cement as the car hit the exit and disappeared.
“Dammit!”
“Bishop! Are you okay?”
I looked down at a pale-faced Megan, who had my T-shirt clenched in white-knuckled fists. With her in my arms, there was no missing the tremors shuddering through her body. “I’m good. Are you okay?”
She nodded as she turned toward the exit. “What the hell is wrong with people? They could’ve killed us.”
That was their intent. That uncanny knowledge hit the back of my brain like a gunshot, locking me in place.
She didn’t wait for my response, which was good because I had no intention of offering a verbal confirmation of her claim when she was already on edge. She let go of my T-shirt and tried to step back. “Are you sure you’re okay? It sounded like you hit the car kind of hard.”
Not willing to let her loose, I kept my hands at her hips and nudged her toward the Jeep. “I’ll probably be the new owner of a few bruises but nothing serious. Come on. Let’s get to the Jeep.”
She twisted her head toward me as she kept walking. “Shouldn’t we report this?”
I steered her around the Jeep’s bumper. “To whom?”
“I don’t know,” she said sharply. “Garage security?”
I opened the passenger door, held it, and guided her in. “No one’s here, babe. I don’t think it will do us any good. Besides, they’re long gone.”
She hitched her butt into the passenger seat and studied my face. Whatever she saw left her biting her lip, but she didn’t say anything and simply pulled her seatbelt into place. When it clicked, I stepped back but stopped when she called my name. When I met her eyes, she asked in a low voice, “That wasn’t an accident, was it?”
Guess my poker face needs work. “I don’t know.”
Fear seeped back into familiar lines around her eyes and mouth. “What if…?”
I stopped her with a gentle squeeze of her knee. “Don’t go there, okay?” When she opened her mouth to argue, I cut her off. “Don’t. One thing at a time. We’ll get to Wolf’s, let him do his thing.” When that didn’t seem to reassure her, I said, “I’ll see if Rabbit can work his magic and find out what the deal was with Speedy Gonzales, okay?”
At her reluctant nod, I let her go, stepped back, and closed the door. I rounded the Jeep, pulling out my phone to thumb through my contacts. Finding Rabbit’s cell, I hit Call.
My ass was hitting my seat when he picked up. “Bishop, my man, what’s up?”
“Hey, Rabbit.” I started the Jeep and waited for the Bluetooth to connect. “Need a favor.”
“Name it.”
“You in front of a computer?” With an arm across Megan’s seat, I twisted to back out, ignoring the protest of my bruised side, then navigated my way clear of the parking garage.
“When am I not?”
That was God’s honest truth. Rare was the time when the man wasn’t connected to something with an electronic signal. “Need you to access the traffic cams near Henderson Medical off of First.”
The sound of fingers flying over a keyboard came through the speakers as Rabbit did his thing. “Tell me what I’m lookin’ for since this is goin’ to take a few.”
“Megan and I just missed getting clipped by some moron in the parking garage.” Determined to play it smart, I added, “I want to make sure the moron is just a moron and not someone with an agenda.” Maybe, if we were lucky, I’d be proven wrong. You never knew. I joined the traffic and headed to Wolf’s place.
“Y’know, city’s full of crazy drivers,” he said.
“You’re not telling me anything I don’t know.”
“Well, if you’re wantin’ new information, I’m goin’ to need something to work with.”
Unfortunately, I didn’t have much to give him. “Didn’t get a good look since I was busy trying not to play hood ornament. Four-door sedan, dark gray or black.”
“Gray,” Megan chimed in.
“Older? Newer?” Rabbit asked.
“Based on the headlight shape, I’m thinking an older model.” I hit the freeway and added, “Probably five, maybe ten years.”
Rabbit muttered a curse that I couldn’t catch. “Got anythin’ else I can use? Tinted windows? Bumper stickers? A flashing neon light?”
Even though I was far from amused, Rabbit’s disgruntlement made my lips twitch. “I’m betting they didn’t slow down when they hit the main road.”
A derisive snort sounded. “Great. Don’ think I have a filter for speed racer here.”
From Megan’s seat came a muffled giggle filled with nerves and adrenaline.
Rabbit gave an overly loud sigh. “Right. Probably goin’ take more than a few, seein’ as that’s about every third car on the road.”
Despite his grim prediction, I had faith he’d find what we needed. “Then I’ll leave you to it. We’re heading to Wolf’s, so call when you can.”
“Copy that.”
“Thanks,” I said.
“Anytime. I’ll catch you in a bit.” With that, Rabbit hung up.
“Thank you,” Megan said with a hint of embarrassment. Risking a glance, I saw that hint reflected in her averted face.
“Nothing to thank me for.” I turned my attention back to the road. “Nothing wrong with wanting peace of mind.” For either of us. “Besides, it doesn’t hurt to have Rabbit check it out.”
“Regardless, I appreciate it.”
“Well, then, you’re welcome.” Focused on maneuvering through the busy streets, I let the quiet settle between us.
It wasn’t until I’d managed to merge onto the death race of the freeway that she muttered, “This sucks.”
Taking a chance, I shot her a quick look. “What?”
“This.” I caught the blur of her hand waving before she continued with an honesty that hurt. “This was the first time I wasn’t afraid to be out of my house. Then that… that jackass almost hits us, and I’m back to being scared.” She turned to face her window.
That was exactly why I hadn’t shared my belief that it was a deliberate attempt to hit us. Not touching on why she felt safe, I addressed the less treacherous part of her revelation. “I’m thinking that’s a fairly normal reaction to almost being run down. Comes with the adrenaline letdown and all that jazz.” I went to switch lanes and caught her dismissive headshake. “Not to mention, your life hasn’t exactly been all sunshine and roses recently. I’m thinking you can cut yourself a little slack.”
“I just want to get back to normal.”
The amount of emotion buried in her voice had me clenching my teeth in frustration. Part of me wanted to take her away from all of this until shit blew over, even though I knew it wasn’t even in the realm of possibility—especially considering she was smack in the center of the storm. Even knowing that it was lame, I gave her the only comfort I could offer. “I don’t know what you consider normal, but it seems to me you’re well on your way.”
A soft snort came back. “Glad one of us believes that.”
“You don’t?”
“This—me—isn’t normal, Bishop. I’m so far from normal I don’t think I’ll ever find my way back. I can’t sleep, because every time I close my eyes, I end up in a nightmare. I can’t step outside without feeling like I’m being watched. Half the damn time, I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not because I can’t shake the fear that all of this”—she waved her hand as her voice rose—“is just another mind game meant to break me. Which is pointless because I’m already broken.”
Her unvarnished sincerity managed to sneak under my guard, leaving me with an ache. “You aren’t.”
“I am,” she said, sounding uncharacteristically hard and unyielding. “I’m in so many pieces that there’s no way I’m going to be able to find them all. I’m never going to be who I was.”
“No, you won’t.” Determined to drag her out of the well of self-pity she was getting ready to swim in, I hauled her back with a dose of harsh pragmatism. “You can’t be. You survived six months of hell, and you’ll carry those scars forever. There’s no escaping that—it’s done. Now you have to choose how you’ll move forward—bent and cowed, or head up and fearless?”
“It’s not that easy.”
“Isn’t it?” I shot her a look. “Seems to me, considering where we’re heading, you’ve already made your choice.” I turned back to my driving, letting silence fill the space between us and hoping I got through because this fight was hers alone to face.