Tools of the Trade
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN
❖ Choosing which oil works best
❖ Pillows for proper positioning
This chapter is going to cover the basics and then some—all the things you will need to put in your massage treasure trove to be sure that when it’s time for touch, you have what I consider the necessary accessories. Of course, we all know you could just set up in the corner of your living room, lay your sweetheart down on her tummy, remove her top, and start pushing her flesh. But if you want to maximize your couple’s massage experience, read on.
The line of necessities for a successful couple’s massage often includes oils and something soft and comfortable to lie on. Why? Because part of the process of a couple’s massage is about awakening the senses and more.
The first massage essential that you’ll need to get your hands on is some sort of lubricant. You’re going to need something between you and your partner’s body that will allow your hands to glide over the skin with smooth, relaxing movements.
Although you could certainly use lotion for massage, I have found that it’s absorbed into the skin far too quickly. Instead of enjoying the process of extending pleasure, you’ll be cursing under your breath as you apply more and more lotion.
Make sure that neither you nor your partner is allergic to any oils, especially peanuts or avocado, or to any of the ingredients in a massage oil mixture, such as chemicals or perfume. When in doubt, test it out. Rub a tiny bit of oil (or lotion) on your wrist and keep it on without washing for 24 hours. If irritation or a breakout occurs on the skin, don’t use that particular oil.
Oil feels best if it’s warmer than your body temperature. Place your bottle of oil in a pot of warm water for approximately 20 minutes to warm it up. Or splurge and buy yourself a commercial oil warmer. If your room temperature is steamy and sultry already, cut back your warm-up time to 10 minutes. Warm oil is easier to apply and feels good to both giver and receiver.
Unlike lotion, oil will last longer, and I consider it the ideal choice for massage.
Every massage movement is easier with oil that allows the hands to glide, nourishes the skin, and arouses the senses. Ready-made massage oils can be purchased at health food stores, or you can get inventive. Look around your kitchen for vegetable oils such as sunflower, peanut, or safflower oils, all of which are excellent for massage and are called “carrier oils.”
Other carrier oils that you might consider include the following:
❖ Coconut oil: It can be purchased in economical tubs (in solid form; it liquefies at room temperature) at health food stores, and unlike most other oils or lotions, is absorbed into the skin after gentle heating. It’s like food for your skin.
❖ Apricot kernel oil: An odorless pale yellow oil that contains minerals and vitamins and can be applied to all types of skin. This oil is very helpful to prematurely aging skin, and dry, inflamed, or sensitive skin.
❖ Avocado oil: Dark green in color, this carrier oil comes from the fruit itself. It contains protein, vitamins, fatty acids, lecithin, and it is odorless. Great for all skin types, especially if you have eczema or dry skin.
❖ Grape seed oil: (My personal choice) I recommend this oil for all types of skin. It is almost colorless and contains minerals, proteins, and vitamins. I like it because it is so light and goes a long way.
Here are some of my aromatherapy massage oils with a grape seed carrier oil. I’ll discuss aromatherapy in chapter 11.
(Jaymie Garner)
❖ Jojoba: (This one’s a little pricey.) This yellow oil comes from the jojoba bean. Because it is slightly thicker than the other oils I have described in this chapter, dilute it 10 percent with a lighter oil, such as grape seed oil. It’s excellent for treating psoriasis, acne, eczema, and inflamed skin.
❖ Sweet almond oil: Mmm. And you thought this was a food! It is a very pale yellow color, contains minerals, vitamins, and is rich in proteins. It comes from the kernel of the almond and helps relieve itching, soreness, inflammation, and dryness.
❖ Wheat germ oil: It is a yellow-orange color and needs to be diluted 10 percent with a lighter oil, such as sweet almond or grape seed oil. It contains vitamins, minerals, and proteins, and is used especially for prematurely aging skin, psoriasis, and eczema, although it is suitable for all skin types.
❖ Vitamin E: Although it’s very thick and extremely expensive, vitamin E is great to use on your or your partner’s face, which is more delicate than the rest of the skin and requires only a thin coating of oil.
Putting oil of any kind on the face can result in acne or other eruptions or irritations on the skin. I recommend using apricot kernel oil or sweet almond oil on the face, as they are evenly balanced, which is important, as the skin on the face is usually a combination of dry, oily, and normal skin types.
Once you’ve found a carrier oil that you like working with, you can add an essential oil to it, the fragrance of which will spice up your couple’s massage. Mixing essential oils with carrier oils can create different effects on your partner, from relaxing to invigorating, depending on the combination. I discuss essential oils in detail in chapter 11.
The quantity of oil you use is important. If you add too much oil, your hands will skid all over your partner’s body and you will be unable to make proper contact—too little oil and you will end up making uneven, jerky movements.
To aid in getting just the right amount of oil, pour your massage oil into a plastic squeeze bottle. When you’re ready to begin the massage, pour just enough oil to cover the hollow of your palm. You can always add more if you feel the skin drying out. It is always easier to add more than to mop up too much. Don’t add oil to the whole body at once—you can add oil to other parts of the body as you progress.
Pour a quarter-size amount of oil into the palm of your hand first. You can always add more as you need it.
(Jaymie Garner)
You can use any of the above-mentioned carrier oils for the feet. However, go lightly with oils on the soles of the feet, so that the person receiving the massage doesn’t slip when he gets up to walk and to minimize carpet stains.
If you are worried about staining sheets or clothes with massage oil, you can purchase nonstaining massage lotions and oils that the professionals use. These are available at massage supply stores.
The first place most people think to give a massage is on their bed. However, most mattresses are too soft and pliable, not offering any support for the giver. For a couple’s massage you’ll need a firm, strong surface that will support you and your partner.
Before you decide on the kitchen table or the coffee table, assess their stability. If you have extra-thick padding under your carpet, then a duvet (essentially, a comforter) on the floor covered with a sheet could do the trick.
Place a pillow behind your knees for comfort.
(Jaymie Garner)
A double-size futon mattress will also work, but of course there has to be enough room for the person giving the massage to move around.
If you have a U-Shaped Neck Pillow that you use for travel, it will make an ideal face cradle to support your partner’s head and neck during your couple’s massage. For extra comfort, invest in the memory foam one. To prevent oil stains, cover the neck pillow with a pillow case. Place the neck pillow at the head of the mattress or mattress pad and ask them to place their face on it. Your partner will soon discover this pillow is more comfortable than lying with their head turned to one side.
Place a U-Shaped Neck Pillow at the head of the mattress for your partner’s comfort.
(Jaymie Garner)
The most comfortable massage surface for both giver and receiver is one that is firm but has a pliant surface. It supports the back nicely and doesn’t rock or sway when pressure is applied on the body. The best type of surface allows room to move around the massage area, plus has a well-padded surface for knees.
Be wise about what you use for your massage platform. Avoid accidental injuries by using a stable flooring, tables, or a couch, and don’t take chances with anything that may wobble and break. The sheer weight of your body and the added pressure of the massage itself can be too much strain for many tables. As with anything that you choose for pleasure, always put safety first!
If you use a table, make sure it isn’t too low, so that the partner giving the massage doesn’t have to hunch over. If the table is too high, you won’t be able to apply enough pressure with your body, and believe me when I tell you that you are going to tire easily when only using pressure from your hands. Being at just the right height will propel you into lasting action.
Determining the appropriate height for your massage surface is simple. Stand next to the table with your arms down by your side and make a fist. If your fist is level with the surface, then it’s just right. If it’s not, then you need to adjust the height.
If you find that you really like giving and receiving couple’s massages, you may want to go all out and invest in a professional massage table. Expect to pay around $250 for a basic table with adjustable legs and a face cradle, which is a donut-shaped extension of the table where the receiver’s head rests. I recommend the fine tables from Living Earth Crafts, EarthLite, and Oakworks. They all come with a manufacturer’s guarantee, and you can buy them in massage supply stores. You can even buy a carrying case if you plan on taking your table on that Hawaiian vacation.
Not only does a massage table enable you to massage while standing up (which is less tiring than kneeling), but your partner will also be more comfortable with her head cradled in that funny donut hole. Single (twin) sheets fit most massage tables. When you’re not using the table, you can fold it up and stash it under the bed or in the closet. Pretty neat, eh?
If you’re short on time, you can do just a foot massage or a scalp massage. You can ask your sweetheart to join you on the sofa and you won’t need all the props. I’ll cover the massage routine for the feet in chapter 7.
If you’re short on time, a 15- to 20-minute foot massage does the trick
(Jaymie Garner)
YOUR TOUCH NOTES
❖ Oil is the best lubricant for your massage.
❖ Your massage platform should give you support and your partner comfort.
❖ Pillows protect your knees so you won’t tire easily.
❖ A professional massage table is worth the investment.