THE MUSH ROOM, RADCLIFFE LUNATIC ASYLUM
O gier rubs the two electrodes together as if he is a child with a fork and spoon in his hand. The spark he creates sends shivers down my spine. I take a deep breath before the electricity reaches me, reminding myself that this is my new life. A hero by day, a mad girl by night.
Waltraud laughs each time I shake and shiver. She is still smoking her cigarette, watching me as if I were her favorite TV series. As electricity surges through me, I remember what the Pillar told me on the way back. He was talking about the easiest way to tell if someone is insane. It's not the way they look, talk, or behave. The most common trait in insane people is that they think they aren't insane. According to the Pillar's nonsensical logic, we're all insane. The only way to survive insanity is to admit it.
"You know that I am not being examined by a specialist when I leave every morning, right?" I tell Waltraud, still sweating from the buzzes. "You know I save lives in the outside world, don't you?"
Waltraud almost chokes, laughing at me. "But of course, my dear Alice." She keeps on laughing with Ogier. "I also know you're a princess in the real world."
Ogier buzzes me again, and all I can do is laugh with them. It's a hysterical moment. We all laugh, and we don't know why exactly. Am I laughing at the fact that there is no way in the world they'll believe me? Maybe I am laughing because I am really insane.
"Seriously." I hiccup between the laughs. "You must have seen me on TV. My picture was everywhere yesterday. I am the girl who ate a block of cheese in the Great Hall of Oxford University that morning."
"Cheeeeeese?" Waltraud kills her cigarette on the floor. Every big thing in her body is vibrating from laughter. "Why did you eat the cheese, Alice? Are you a rat?" Ogier laughs at this part. Sometimes he reminds me of Frankenstein.
My laughing suddenly stops, and I stare at them. They sound like they really haven't seen me. Could it be they never watch the news while living here in the underground ward?
"You seriously didn't see me?" My lips are dry when I say that. And my head is still buzzing.
"I think this is enough therapy for her today," Waltraud tells Ogier. "She is losing it." She tries to cup her hands over her mouth to keep from laughing.
"My God," I say. "You didn't see me."
"Of course, we didn't," Waltraud says. "Christ Church was closed yesterday. The police needed to collect evidence for the Cheshire murders. No students or tourists were allowed inside."