THE PILLAR'S CELL, RADCLIFFE ASYLUM, OXFORD
T he Pillar lies on his back on the couch. He is still smoking and listening to "Alice in the Sky with Diamonds." The butterfly in the jar is calmer now. It doesn't push its way out of the glass. I am too exhausted to be here but thought I'd tell him that I am ready for the job. I am ready to save lives.
"I see the butterfly is calmer now," I remark.
"I had to send her some of my hookah smoke to ease her," he says.
"I wonder why you keep her."
"I am a caterpillar, Alice." He chortles. "One day, I am going to be as beautiful as her. She helps me remember this."
"Whatever." I don't have the strength for another riddle. "I'm here to tell you that I'm…"
"Ready to save lives?"
"Yes."
"Ready to accept that you're Alice, even if it makes no sense?"
"Yes."
"Ready for accepting the madness in your life?"
"Yes." I am reluctant about this part.
"How about the None Fu techniques? Did you master those?"
"Not at all." I laugh. "I tried it, and it doesn't work. It's such nonsense. How is Jack, by the way?"
"We went on a date together. It was a Carrollian date, where neither of us paid because we snuck into the restaurant when it was rather late. He tried to kiss me, but he smelled of playing cards. I'm not going out with him again." He doesn't even catch his breath when he jokes like this.
"It means you haven't seen him," I say. "And he is hard to track. With all his nonsense, I was warming up to him. I mean, he is a stalker, but he just wanted a date with a mad and lonely girl like me. What more could I ask for? I hope he is all right."
"I am sure he will be," the Pillar says, "You should get some sleep. Now that the Cheshire is on the loose, I wouldn't be surprised if you and I are invited to a tea party in a few days."
"In Parliament, I imagine?"
"Or the Queen of England's palace," he says, topping my mockery. "You haven't discovered who the Red Queen is and why she always said 'off with their heads' yet."
"Please." I raise a hand. "Enough for today. I don't want to know. You're right. I have to get some sleep."
"How was the meeting with Carroll?" he says before I go. "Did he give you anything, if I may ask?"
"Not at all. He just advised me to save Constance."
I feel the key Lewis gave me in my pocket. I am not going to tell the Pillar about it. I think the Pillar shouldn't know these things.
"Since you have a writing desk in your cell, aren't you going to tell me what a raven and a writing desk have in common?"
The Pillar turns his head toward me and smiles. He knows I am changing the subject like he always does. "Not now. But I could let you ponder over an even crazier question, one that historians always skip and never investigate thoroughly."
"Oh, and what would that be?"
"What do Lewis Carroll and Red Riding Hood have in common?" he says.
"What? Are you crazy? Of course, they have nothing in common." I roll my eyes and begin to walk away. "I never thought I'd say goodnight to a serial killer, but goodnight, Professor Pillar."
"One more thing, Alice," he says. "There is something that still puzzles me."
"Puzzles you?" I raise an eyebrow.
"In the previous days, you have never tried to look up your bus accident, neither on the internet or anywhere else," he says. "I wonder why that is."
"I don't know," I reply. "I guess I was busy."
"Unlikely."
"Maybe I am just not ready to see the faces of the friends I killed. Adam told me something like that in my dream."
"Oh." He drags from his pipe. "That's most likely it."
He turns off the lights and disappears in the dark.