"H ey," he whispers, sliding down in his chair and tightening the ice cream cap on his head. "I was thinking."
I say nothing. I am happy he is there. It's illogical. It doesn't make sense, but I can't fight the feeling.
"About what I said about marrying you," he says. "I can't."
"Why?" I raise an eyebrow, whispering, pretending to be surprised.
"It's not because I don't like you," he says. "I told you I am mad about you."
"You said that before, Jack."
"Saying it every morning won't express how I really feel." He squeezes my hand. "But it's just...I'm not ready for marriage."
I act upset. "You think you're too young?" I whisper.
"I am too poor, but that's not the reason," he says. "They fired me from Oxford University today, so I practically have no future now."
"Why did they fire you?" A smile sticks to my face and promises not to leave me as long as Jack is nearby.
"It's silly," he says. "They said I was dead. Can you believe that?"
I shrug and pull my hand away. I feel guilty when I hear this. Why does he keep bringing up the subject?
"No." His eyes moisten when I pull my hand away. "I'm not really dead. They just think that. How can I be dead? I am here talking to you. What bothers me is that they said that my name isn't Jack, which is really absurd."
"Then you're not fired. They can't fire you without getting your name right," I suggest.
"I know. I am not giving up, trust me. I will do my best to become a great man and deserve you."
"Selling 'Ice Scream' sounds like a start," I tease, easing my aching heart.
"I did try racing in France, but it didn't work," he says. "It's like I don't know what I really want yet."
"I know the feeling." I pull his hands back. He seems the happiest boy on earth.
"Alice." His voice gets softer. "Don't bother with me. It's you that matters."
"Why do you say that?"
"Just listen. I don't think you know what you are capable of." He holds both of my hands, and his look in my eyes intensifies. "Trust me. You have no idea. I know it's a bumpy road, but you will be all right." His eyes sparkle as his gaze scans every part of my face adoringly. I think he is about to kiss me.
Just before he does, the Pillar interrupts and asks whom I am talking to.
"It's Jack." I sigh. Bad timing, Pillar. Very bad timing.
"Who's Jack?"
"You know who," I grunt.
"Ah, the boy who is not there," the Pillar says, watching the show with interest. "I assume he is on your right side now."
"He is."
"Tell him I said hi because I can't see him," the Pillar says. "Tell him I wonder if he'll still be there when the light turns on."
"I will be," Jack says, finally confronting him. "You shouldn't walk with this man, Alice." Jack squeezes my hand.
Silence steals my breath away. I am still confused about the Pillar's reaction to Jack. I am also heart-warmed by Jack wanting to become a better man to marry me.
Then the silence breaks when the glaring spotlights from the stage are directed toward me. When I look up, the man hosting the play is talking to me.
"Hey, miss," he says in the echoing microphone.
I say nothing, freaked out by the sudden and unexplainable attention.
"Yes, you." He points my way. "Are you even watching the show?"
The crowd laughs.
"We've chosen you to kindly approach the stage," the host says. "I believe you haven't heard us."
"Why?"
"This is the part of the show the reviewers said is the most refreshing. The 'Pig and Pepper' chapter," the man explains. "We select a girl from the crowd to portray Alice for a short scene. Amateur improvisation. You haven't had any kind of acting lesson before, have you?"
"No." I shrug.
"Fabulous," he says. "It's really going to be fun. Would you mind approaching the stage?" The man stretches a welcoming arm.
The crowd encourages me to go.
"No, thank you," I say. I am not going to do some acting improvisation on stage on my fifth day out in the real world.
"Yes!" The Pillar stands up and encourages the crowd to clap their hands. "She will come." He pulls me up, sneering at me.
Finally, I get the message. The Pillar thinks this is the part where we meet the Muffin Man. Come to think of it, he might be right. Why would the host choose me to get on stage? It's too much of a coincidence.
"I'm her uncle," the Pillar says. He needs no other introduction to the crowd. "She doesn't go anywhere without me, which means I will approach the stage with her."
"Hmm..." The host sighs. "If she is going to play Alice, who do you suppose to play, then?"
"I'll play the doorknob," the Pillar says.
The crowd goes nuts, laughing.
"I always wanted to be the doorknob." The Pillar smiles like a child again. "You know, the doorknob Alice has to talk to when she is crossing the Pool of Tears."
"And I am her husband." Jack appears. "I mean, her boyfriend. I mean, I am Jack. I could play...hmm...Jack. Jack of Diamonds," he stutters, uncomfortable with the many faces looking at him.
I take my time to hear the crowd's reaction to Jack. Do they see him, or not? Come on. They saw him as an ice cream boy before. Why not see him now?
A long, long moment passes before the host says, "Why not. You may approach the stage." The man turns his back to us and waves his finger.
My heart drops to the floor. I want to know if he sees Jack.
A few steps in, the man turns back, annoyed by our slow reaction. "Hurry, we have limited stage time. Come on stage, the three of you."