PILLAR'S LIMOUSINE, SOMEWHERE ON THE ROAD BACK TO LONDON
"Y ou're all right, sweetie?" Fabiola's generous smile lands upon my face and blesses it with safety I have always needed: a rare moment to feel that someone truly cares for you.
I don't reply to her, though. I realize I am in the back of the Pillar's limousine, stretched with my head resting on Fabiola's lap. The first thing I do is stare at my legs. They look all right. But it's not enough. I wiggle my toe. It's all right. But not enough. I bend my knee, and it works. I am not crippled. Then what was all of this? A bad dream? Or am I living in my imaginary world right now?
If so, then so be it!
I don't mind.
"Where am I?" I straighten my back on the seat of the Pillar's limousine. The chauffeur is driving. Fabiola, the White Queen, sits so elegantly next to me, and the Pillar is in the front passenger's seat. I guess Fabiola made him sit there, against his wishes.
"We're in—" the Pillar begins, his head turned back to face me.
Fabiola shushes him immediately. "We're in the Pillar's limousine, driving to London. You seem to have entered the mirror back into our world, but a bit later than fourteen minutes." She hands me a glass of water. "Thank God almighty you weren't that late. A few seconds after the fourteen-minute range usually causes dizziness, but no great harm. At least, this is what Lewis' transcripts say about the Blackboard. You just came back unconscious and the Pillar thought you'd died. He sent for me to help. And I am glad I could."
"Sent for you?" I gulp the water, still not quenching my thirst, neither for water or the questions piling up. "From the Vatican?"
"It took me about four hours, including the drive and wait at the airport," she explains. "Gone are the days of Wonderland, when I was able to travel to some place by the blink of an eye."
I remember entering Einstein's Blackboard a few minutes after midnight. What would the time be now? How long did it take me to wake up? I dig my hand into my pocket to find the watch. It seems I have lost it, along with the letter.
"I took my watch back, if you don't mind." The Pillar shows it dangling from his hands. A weak smile is plastered on his face. He is really annoyed that we're occupying his backseat. As usual, he can't stand up to Fabiola, and I still wonder why.
"It's three o'clock in the afternoon," Fabiola says. Her soothing voice has the power to bring such horrible news with ease. Otherwise, I would have panicked. It's only two hours to the Muffin Man's deadline.
I can't panic. I can't complain. Whatever happens in this mad world, I love it. Because if I am truly crippled in an asylum in real life, I can't go back there, no matter what. I love it here. My arm itches, right where my tattoo is. Right where it says: I can't go back to yesterday because I was someone else then. I wonder if "yesterday" only means "reality."
"I was unconscious for that long?" I ask.
"What you did wasn't an easy task," Fabiola says. "I mean, none of us can go back in time through that mirror. Lewis' leftover papers say only 'the Girl' can."
"Does that mean I am the Alice?"
"I can't say," Fabiola says. "'The Girl' mentioned in his transcript could be anyone. We're only suggesting it should be Alice."
"But I passed."
"It wasn't easy. You were almost going to die. I had to use special potions I rarely use to bring you back," Fabiola says. "I'm truly sorry; I still can't confirm you're the Real Alice."
Although I love Fabiola, I am rather mad at her. Why can't she just tell me I am the Alice? I need to hear it so much now because I am so afraid I will lose consciousness and go back to that scary "reality" of mine again.
"Don't listen to her," the Pillar sneers. "Religious people are always hesitant and old-fashioned. They can hardly cope with anything that's new to their ancient beliefs. As if we're not supposed to evolve and create." Fabiola tries to shush him, but the Pillar doesn't care. Not when the subject comes to me being the Real Alice. "You are the one and only, Alice. You want me to prove it?"
"Pillar!" Fabiola raises her voice elegantly, though.
"Yes, please prove it." I lean forward.
"If you're not the Real Alice, why did she save you?" The Pillar points at Fabiola, who lowers her eyes, escaping mine. "Why are we now sending you on a last new mission? Ask her!"
I stare back at Fabiola, whom I can't believe could be lying. Ever. But why is she shying away from my eyes?
"When Galileo discovered the earth's rotation, the likes of Fabiola killed him for opposing the 'man up in the sky,’" the Pillar says.
"Stop it!" Fabiola's jaw tenses. "We could argue about who you are all afternoon," she says to me. "And let people die." She breathes briefly and closes her eyes as if meditating. When she opens them up again, serenity has caught her. Is it possible she can show a darker side sometimes? "We do have a new mission, Alice," she says. "It's less than two hours before the Muffin Man mass-poisons millions of people. You're the last hope for millions of people."
"So, he didn't change his mind?" I am disappointed I couldn't change the course of events when I was back in Wonderland. I can't even begin to think what this means. Does it mean Lewis couldn't save Gorgon's kids? Oh my. I feel like I am going to vomit again.
"No," the Pillar says. "We don't have time to tell you what happened since it didn't work anyway."
"So, that's it?" I am not going to cry. I have seen too much already. I know that crying doesn't solve anything.
"There is one last thing you can do," the Pillar insists as we enter London. "And it's not even an option."
"I'll do it. Time is running out," I tell them both. "What is it?"
"I feel ashamed that our final hope is what I am going to tell you." Fabiola exchanges a look with the Pillar and turns back to me. "The Cheshire called me in the Vatican a few hours ago."