DOWNSTAIRS, ALICE WONDER’S HOUSE, 7 FOLLY BRIDGE, OXFORD, 11:05 A.M.
A t the foot of the stairs, I see Lorina and Edith staring back at me. They’re appalled at seeing me. I’m appalled to see them appalled to see me. One happy, appalled family.
Without hesitation, Edith waves a glinting knife in my direction. It’s as if she has seen a ghost. The look in her eyes suggests she wouldn’t hesitate to kill me. How is this possible? Isn’t she my sister?
Still stiffened by the heaviness of the moment, I turn and look at Lorina. Maybe my Barbie girl sister will be kinder to me. But she isn’t. She looks upon me with pursed lips, as if I am unworthy.
Previously I knew my sister rather mocked my insanity and blamed me for killing my classmates. I have been thinking about it for many a night in my cell: what have I done to them that made them hate me this much?
“Look what the cat dragged in.” Lorina almost sings the words, as if she is Waltraud making fun of me in the asylum.
“I think we should get rid of her.” Edith’s face is a bubble of hatred and evil.
“Kill her, you mean?” Lorina asks.
“Chop her like carrots and then kill her.” Edith snickers.
I can’t believe my ears. I must be insane—if I had a shilling for every time the thought crossed my mind. This can’t be how the world operates. My sisters can’t be so cruel. It must be me who’s gone Willy Wonka.
“What have you done to me?” The words escape my mouth ever so slowly. “I heard you talk about me. What is this event you’re talking about?”
Then I see the dress hung on the wall behind them. I shouldn’t be wasting my time asking about me now. I shouldn’t be this selfish. My priority should be to get the dress and stop the bomb. But I can’t help it.
“You heard us talk. About the Event? How?” Edith grimaces, and her chubby cheeks bubble out. I watch her face redden. Her anger leaves me paralyzed in my place. It’s so imminent I forget I need an answer to my question.
“How are you not in the asylum?” Edith says as she hurries toward me with the knife, about to stab me.
It takes me a moment to realize that my sister is about to kill me. But it also helps that I don’t really remember her. We don’t have anything in common. No childhood memories. No secrets shared. Not even fights. In the back of my mind, she doesn’t mean anything to me.
I duck, letting Edith swing her knife and slice the thin air above me. Then I kick her sideways in the knees. Nonsensical jujitsu style. My fingers tighten together, and my hand is straight as a rod.
Edith trips and falls on her face. Her head bangs against the foot of the stairs. She is aching. Cursing me. There is a moment when I want to lend her a hand and apologize, but I don’t do it. She tried to stab me. She tried to freakin’ stab me.
I close my eyes for a fraction of a second and breathe in. This is the first time my None Fu skills have actually worked. I read in the book that I should be yelling “yeehaa” or something while fighting. They call it an “anchor call.” A word so strong to you that it gives you strength. The only word that strong to me is “Jack.” But I can’t even begin thinking about him, or I’ll start crying. I figure I can do without that word.
With my eyes still closed, I see the book’s pages flap before me. Page 82. Line 12. It reads: “A true None Fu Warrior never takes success for granted. If you bring your opponent to the floor, don’t expect them not to come back to life. Finish what you started. Long live None Fu!”
Following the book’s instructions, opening my eyes, I kneel down and hit Edith with the back of my elbow, making sure her curses turn to moans then a hissing snore.
I’m Alice’s cruel and nonsensical world of madness.
I step on Edith’s hand, pull the knife and grip it, then turn to face my other sister. The dizziness strikes again. I don’t know why. It’s as if my mind is ready to daydream or envision something, but it’s still too weak to do it. I should have really taken my medication this morning.
I am Alice’s sense of blurring realities!
I have to admit it. I feel insane. And I love it.
Lorina stands casually by the table, sucking on a strawberry. My Barbie sister pretends she is cooler than cool. A sinister smile on her heart-shaped lips gives away her real intentions. “None Fu, eh?” she says. “Where did you learn that?”
“You know about None Fu?” I grimace, waving my knife, eyes on the dress behind her. I don’t know why, but looking at the dress intensifies my dizziness. I look away, for now.
Lorina lifts her chin and chews on the strawberry. “Know about it?” She stretches her arms and knuckles her slim fingers. “I have a black belt in None Fu, little doll.” She suddenly runs across the hall like an acrobat in a circus. She runs backward then somersaults, landing on the couch. She arches her body in some martial arts position, stretching out her hands and calling the fight. “Let’s play.”
My eyes are so wide open they hurt. I can’t believe this is happening.
Knowing the Hatter must be watching me somehow, I dart into the open kitchen and pick up the housemaid’s dress. I wrap it around my waist then check the watch. It’s exactly 11:06 a.m. I’ve done it.
My phone beeps instantly. Another message: Well done. Starting from 12:00 p.m., I will give you 24 more hours to catch the rabbit. That’s if your sister doesn’t kill you first.
I look around for some sort of camera or something. How does the Hatter see all of this?
But I have no time.
Lorina is already in my face. She kick-boxes me so hard my back hits the refrigerator. My head buzzes like a tuning fork. I feel like I want to just faint away from all this madness, sliding against the refrigerator door, down to the floor, deep into an ocean of numbness.
“Lorina one, Alice none!” My None Fu sister sets the score.