SOMEWHERE IN ALICE’S MIND.
T he drink, unlike last time, puts me to sleep.
It’s a different kind of sleep because I know I am sleeping. I know I am dreaming. And I don’t like where my dreams have sent me.
I dream I am back in the Radcliffe Lunatic Asylum. I dream I am back on that couch in that dark psychiatry room.
I hate this room.
“So how deep have you gone into the rabbit hole, Alice?” the doctor, hiding behind his smoke and darkness, asks me.
“I want to wake up!”
“You’re not dreaming, Alice. This is your reality like I’ve told a thousand times.”
“No, you’re a figment of my imagination. Some kind of a sick joke.”
“Alice. Alice. Alice.” The doctor puffs his pipe. “Haven’t we talked about this before? The rabbit hole. Remember when I told you I would let you delve deeper into your madness until you couldn’t take the nonsense anymore? That’s the moment when you’ll realize you’re mad.”
“I don’t believe you. I’m not mad. I am saving the world.”
The doctor says nothing, trying to suppress a laugh, I think.
“Have you ever considered that you’re the mad one?” I say. “Maybe this is your rabbit hole, and you think you’re some psychiatrist in an asylum.”
“It seems that you haven’t had enough of the rabbit hole yet.” He sighs. “I think we’re done for today.”
“I think so, too,” I retort. “Because I’d really like to wake up to go complete my mission.”
“And where is it this time?”
“Brazil.”
“And you’re saving the world from what?”
“A plague.”
“What kind of plague?”
This is when I hesitate. I don’t even know what kind of plague this is. All I know is that it has driven people so crazy they’re killing each other all around the world.
In my moment of embarrassment and silence, I wonder what this plague really does to people. The Executioner said it’s something unimaginable. That’s why it has no cure. But really, what drives people mad enough to start killing each other all around the world?
“I take it that you don’t know what kind of plague.” There is victory all over the doctor’s voice. “I’ll have the wardens take you back, but I’m afraid you need a higher dose of your medicine this time.”
“Medicine?” I know in this dream I am always given medicine, but I haven’t paid attention to it.
“Your medicine, Alice.” He sounds impatient or disappointed. I can’t really tell. “The pill I’ve been giving you for two years now. It’s called Lullaby if you remember.”