QUEEN’S GARDEN, BUCKINGHAM PALACE, LONDON
M argaret watched the Queen of Hearts lay on her stomach on the floor, kicking her hands and feet. The Queen couldn’t stop laughing so hard, Margaret and the guards felt embarrassed for her. They also didn’t quite understand what Carolus said that was so laughable.
“You infected the world with telling the truth no matter what?” Tears of joy sprang out of her eyes. “Brilliant. Bloody Brilliant!”
The only one who shared her point of view was Carolus. Tied in a special execution chair, and still aching with migraines, he let out a few chuckles. He looked satisfied someone appreciated the idea, but he certainly didn’t get a kick out of it like the Queen.
Hiccupping, the Queen walked up, her face red like a pumped tomato. She adjusted her dress, trying to suck the laughs in around her guards. But it was only seconds before she started again.
“May I ask why this is supposed to be so funny, My Queen?” Margaret asked.
“Don’t you get it?” the Queen said. “Imagine a father returns home to his wife and children. He shouts, ‘Honey, I’m home,’ And his wife goes like, ‘Why did you come back? I prayed to the Lord that you’d get hit by a train on the way.’ And the husband goes like, ‘Like I haven’t prayed the same thing for you all of those years.’ Then their child walks into the room and says, ‘Papa, you’re fat. And bald. My friends laugh at you. And Mama, your cooking sucks.’ And from then on imagine the trail of honesty escalating until someone physically hurts the other.”
Margaret didn’t know whether to laugh or not, but she certainly hadn’t grasped the wickedness of the plague at first. Come to think of it, most of us passed the days by lying to each other.
“Now imagine this happening at work,” the Queen said. “Imagine what kind of atrocities the employees would tell their boss. And so on and so on.”
Then why haven’t I felt the need to swear at you, obnoxious queen, all day? Margaret fidgeted at the thought.
“Imagine you had to tell the truth, Margaret, huh? You’d be spitting in my face now and telling how much you despise me.” The Queen stepped forward to face her assistant. “And what would that lead to? I’d order your head chopped off. But then you’d call the Cheshire before you died and order him to assassinate me. And then I’d give Carolus his Lullaby pill and order him to eat the Cheshire for lunch. Do you now grasp the magnitude of the plague?”
“I guess I do.” Margaret fiddled with the blood-diamond ring on her finger. “Carolus managed to plague the world with the one thing people claim they demand the most. Transparency, honesty, and truth.”
“The only things they are truly—pun intended—not capable of. It’s brilliant!”