T he lions are so close they bump their heads against the back of my Jeep.
I wonder why this Scientist hasn’t woken up yet. I didn’t hit him that hard, did I?
Clutching the pedal to its max, a light suddenly appears in the sky.
Finally, the Pillar’s chopper.
I hear the kids rooting for me up there. “Alice save us!”
“Alice needs someone to save her,” I mumble, trying not to think about the lion running parallel to my Jeep now.
“I’m throwing you a rope to pick you up!” the chauffeur says, as a rope dangles before my eyes.
“I need two. I have to bring the Scientist along. He must know more than what he has told us.”
“I only have one rope. Attach him to it, and I will send it down to you again!”
“How am I supposed to attach him to the rope while driving?” I scream.
I pull my umbrella and squeeze it between the chair and the clutch, so the Jeep keeps speeding, then grip the rope and jump in the back. There is a metal belt that I bind to the Scientist’s body, and then I tell the chauffeur to pull it up.
Another lion slashes his paws at me in an acrobatic move, and I fall back to the driver’s seat.
“I’m sending it back!” the chauffeur shouts.
That’s the same instant when the car starts slowing down.
“No!”
One look at the dashboard, and I realize I’m out of fuel.
In a flash, I grip the rope and begin to tighten the belt around my waist. For some reason, it’s not working. It won’t click closed.
“It’s not working!”
“That’s not good.”
“No shit. I know it’s not good.”
“No, Alice, you don’t understand,” the kids shout. “There is a cliff ahead of you.”
“This is some Hollywood movie I’m in,” I mumble again. “Lions, Reds, and a cliff. All I need is an earthquake.”
The Jeep keeps slowing down, and one of the lions manages to jump inside.
I can’t even scream now. I don’t remember Alice in Wonderland dying in Wonderland.
The belt finally clicks, and I tell them to pull me up.
The lions snatches my shoe away then pulls on the tip of my jeans. He could easily have my feet for an appetizer now, but I guess he’s into the whole meal.
Embarrassed, I have no choice but to pull off my jeans, but not before I pull out the key and tuck it between my teeth.
I stare at the roaring lions and the maddening Reds below me and let out a sigh.
But it’s not long before the Reds start laughing hysterically at me. The kids too.
Damn my pink underwear, shining bright in the dark of the Brazilian jungle.