ST PETER’S, THE VATICAN
T he March Hare, still hiding in the confession booth, watched the few uninfected people sitting outside. They were waiting for Fabiola’s return. She had taken Alice and the children and went to check on that plane they were talking about with that mousy man who called himself the chauffeur.
During their wait, a priest entered the room.
The March could only see him from behind. He was watching him stand behind the podium, about to talk to the people, who were dead silent. The March wondered if it was out of respect or fear of the man at the podium.
One thing was definitely odd about this priest. He smoked a cigar.
“Hallelujah!” the man said. “All you lazy, obnoxious sin washers.”
The March’s eyes widened. The uninfected people stiffened in their places.
“Seriously,” said the priest. “Is this all you can do when the shit hits the wall?”
The March was confused. Was that Carolus in the priest’s outfit?
“All you whining, crying, wailing wusses of the world.” The priest raised both arms. “Going to church, your arches bent over, your heads lowered, and your whole existence just a mess.”
The uninfected looked extremely offended.
“Is that all you can do? No wonder each villain in this world is treading on your sorry existence, making money out of you, poisoning your food, and just toying with you left and right.”
The March thought this couldn’t be Carolus now. This man was shorter, and he thought he recognized the voice.
“Forgive me, father, for I have sinned,” the priest mocked them, dangling out his tongue. “Sinned? Really? You? Have you ever really been introduced to sin? What did you do? Lie to your spouse? Seen a crime and not told anybody about it? Were late for work? Tell me. What was your worst sin ever?”
The March recognized the voice now.
“Have you ever killed someone with your bare hands and hated it?” The priest walked sideways. The March saw he was all soaked in blood, still smoking his cigar. “Have you ever stared evil in the face and grinned at it? Have you ever met a villain? A real one who kills for grins and giggles? Have you ever been kidnapped as a child and sent to work for drug lords on the other side of the world? Have you ever met the darker side of yourself like Lewis Carroll did? Have you ever had to deal with it over and over again, and swear you’d never pass it on to the world, but write the all-time best children’s book instead?”
The uninfected looked rather embarrassed that March could see.
“If I were you, I would feel ashamed for the rest of your life,” The priest looked around. “If I were you, I wouldn’t hide in here and cry and pray for someone to save my sorry butt because I think I’m a good person. If I were you, I’d turn and face the villain.”
The March’s ears stood erect, seeing how some of them had been influenced by the priest’s talk, about to push the church’s gates open and deal with the plague.
“Go out now! Stare darkness in the face and kick its ass!”
Just before they did, the March Hare saw Fabiola enter the church, yelling at the priest. “How dare you come in here with that blood on your hands and talk to them like that?” she roared like he’d never seen her for a long time. “Get out of here, Pillar!”