UN HEADQUARTERS, GENEVA, SWITZERLAND
W atching Fabiola swoosh her Vorpal sword at whoever tries to stop us is both maddening and fascinating.
The best part is how good she is. She fights like an expert samurai, and it makes me more curious about her past. I watch her curve behind a few presidents and stab the first with the syringe, not emptying all of it so she can still save a few others.
The German ambassador looks so relived after his injection as if he’s just been to the bathroom.
“Just the butt, or do we have to pull down the pants?” the Pillar says, dodging punches from a bodyguard who seems to want to hit anyone he comes across.
“Just do it!” I jump on top of a table and kick a few guards in the face with the back of my umbrella.
A lost teacup knocks me down a moment after. I summersault back on the floor. A few None Fu techniques come in handy now.
“Bravo, Alice!” The March claps his hands, a fraction of a second before a huge pie slams into him. He starts licking at it.
I watch the Pillar inject the Iranian president in the butt and suppress a laugh. If only I could take a snapshot of that moment. It looks hilarious. The Pillar looks embarrassed that he did it. But the consequences are amazing. A smile on the president’s face, trying to calm everyone down and listening to the sound of reason.
However, there is this reporter from outside still tailing me. “Didn’t you say Bonkerstan has a cure?”
No time to explain now. I sprint on top of the tables and reach for the Queen of Hearts. If I could only get my hands on her, I’d inject her right away.
But she rewards me with a backhand like a professional tennis player. I stagger back, birds twittering around me.
On the floor, I see the Pillar trying to get hold of the American president. But it seems the president is fixated on throwing saucers at the Queen of Hearts. I wonder how this will look in tomorrow’s headlines.
They’re so close. It’ll only be seconds before this fight turns physical.
The TV is broadcasting.
“I’m close to getting him, Alice,” the Pillar says. “You close in on the Queen from the back, and we’ll do’em both in one move.”
The TV reporter tailing me doesn’t like the sound of that at all.
I prop myself up and jump on the Queen, knocking her to the ground. The broadcasting crew is shocked by my move—as if none of what’s going on around them is shocking.
I look as if I’m strangling the Queen, who only chirps one sentence, off with her head!
Once I get hold of her, I realize the Pillar is gripping the American president as well.
“Time to save the world.” The Pillar snickers, bending the president over as if he is going to punish him for being bad by slapping his butt.
Saying it looks surreal is an understatement. I can’t believe this is happening.
In one move, the Pillar and I inject the American president and the Queen of England with the syringes in their butts with grins of victory on our faces.
“Yes!” the Pillar says.
Turning my head, the reporter tailing me is dangling her tongue like a Mushroomer. Behind her, the camera crew have this unexplainable expression on their faces. They don’t know whether to laugh hysterically or cry.