THE PAST: BIG BEN, LONDON
M r. Tick and Mrs. Tock live in a hidden room in the Big Ben. It has a wall for a door that only opens when you knock on it six times, like a secret cave. They live in a lavish, huge room inside. The only disadvantage is the horribly loud sound each time the Big Ben strikes.
But being married since the beginning to time, both of them aren’t bothered by it. In fact, they look so bored, they love it when it bangs.
Mr. Tick is certainly bored of his ticks. I watch him blame Mrs. Tock for being a boring wife who can’t find a way for him to spice up his life. Mr. Tick really hates London. He hates the rainy weather, the drunks late at night, the football games, and calls it a boring city. Mrs. Tock keeps telling him that soon, the Wonderland Monsters will arrive, and the city will become incredibly entertaining. Mr. Tick says it’s all lies, like there’s never been a real Severus Snape in Harry Potter.
The couple are so bored that Mrs. Tock doesn’t mind finding me in her kitchen. She doesn’t ask how I got inside their secret hideout. Worse, she doesn’t remember who I am.
This is going to take some time.
“Tea?” she offers me.
“Please.” I am trying to think of the right words to explain to her that I am from the future and that she is supposed to help me.
“I don’t know how to please my husband,” she complains. “I mean, our marriage was perfect for the first two thousand years. The love, the cuddles, and all the things we did together. But then, a thousand years after a thousand years, things went down the drain.”
“How long have you been married?”
She scratches her head. “I really forgot.”
“Never mind.” I wave a hand, like a good neighbor chitchatting with her. “I’m sure it’s been a long time. Ever had kids?”
“Mr. Tick doesn’t want to.” She lowers her head. “He thinks he is still young. He still chases young girls.”
“Midlife crisis.” I rub my cup.
“He says I’m boring,” she explains. “That I’m always late.”
“You’re Mrs. Tock. It’s who you are.”
“See? I’m meant to be late. All women are meant to be late. We need time in front of the mirror.”
“I agree.” Now that I can finally stare into a mirror.
“Of course, he doesn’t need a mirror. First of all, he is too tall for all mirrors. Secondly, he has no hair to comb.”
“Three hairies, I believe.”
“I’m surprised you can see them.” She snickers. “He keeps lubricating them, combing, and even dying them. All for that girl he’s liked recently.”
“I’ll bet she is young.”
“Nineteen. Can you believe it? He’s easily her great-great ancestor. Her name is Lorina.”
“Lorina?”
“Lorina Wonder.”
I rest my case. I have nothing to say.
“Now, he wants a divorce, which we’re not allowed to have.”
“Of course. What would the world be without a tick and a tock?”
“I’m glad you understand,” she says. “He’s looking for a cure for baldness these days.”
“I bet he’s been looking for it for a few thousand years now.”
“And it’s all a hoax. Can’t grow back hair unless you go back in time.” Mrs. Tock laughs. “So, do I know you?”
I haven’t told her my name. “I was sent to you from the future.”
She bursts out laughing. “Nice one.”
“No, really,” I say. “Two years in the future, you sent me back here. You gave me this address and told me you could help me when something goes wrong.”
Mrs. Tock’s face dims. She doesn’t like what I’m saying at all.
“Listen.” I am trying my best to embrace my Bad Alice personality, but it’s not working. “You were supposed to send me a day back, but you messed up, and I need you to help me go back to yesterday.”
“You’re insane.”
“Not anymore.” I grin. “If you don’t help me, I will die in the next few hours.”