THE PAST: OXFORD UNIVERSITY
F or a whole hour, I keep pushing the Pillar to the edge. Until something happens. A headache so severe he drops to the floor, just like Lewis Carroll did a million times. I wonder if this is the moment when another Carolus surfaces out of the Pillar.
But it doesn’t happen that way.
“I think I remember something. But I’m not sure what.”
“I can help you remember more.” I help him stand up. “Does Fabiola ring a bell?”
“The nun from the Vatican?”
“The White Queen, actually.”
“Don’t be silly,” the Pillar says. “Next thing you’ll tell me the Queen of England is the Queen of Hearts.”
“It hasn’t happened yet, but yes, she will be.”
The Pillar stops then ruffles his hair. He hasn’t yet acquired a hat at this point.
“How about you will kill twelve people in the next two years?”
He laughs, adjusts his glasses, and says, “Me?” He raises an eyebrow. “I don’t even know how to use a gun.”
“Of course you do. Someone has wiped out your memory or something. I can’t figure it out.”
“I can shoot a gun?” He thinks it’s cool. “I prefer a whip, like Indy.”
“Stop it!” I say. “You’re much more…”
“Much more what?”
I don’t tell him the crazy killer he is going to become. I shouldn’t have told him about the twelve men as well. What if he has a chance to become a different person?
“Oh.” He jumps on his desk with his hookah hose in one hand. “I will kill them with this.”
Some things never change. I am starting to worry Mrs. Tock is right. I will not be able to change anything.
“A brilliant idea.” He examines his hookah. “I’ve always thought it could be a weapon. But I wouldn’t tell anyone. They’d think I’m weird.”
“How about love?” I ask him. “You remember loving Fabiola?”
“Who wants to love a nun in the Vatican?” he says. “Is that even legal?” Then his eyes glitter. “I’m really going to be that bad? Seducing a nun?”
“Forget about it.” I rest my hands on my hips.
“What else do you know about me?”
This is when I nail it. “The Executioner.” The most suppressed memories will always surface when tickled long enough.
The Pillar drops the hookah. His eyes are gleaming.
I take advantage of the moment and grip his hands. I pull off the gloves and point at his missing fingers. “Remember this?” It’s odd that I don’t even know what really happened to him. I was just told about the Pillar’s missing fingers by Fabiola last week. She refused to tell me the whole story, though.
The Pillar shrugs. The shrug turns into inanimate features. Then into a darker part of him, not so much like in the future, but noticeable.
“I remember something,” he says. “Can’t fully remember it.” He pulls off his glasses and throws them on the desk. “It hurts so much, though.”
“I’m sorry to do this to you, but I need your help.”
“I need to kill the Executioner, don’t I?”
I nod.
“Why?”
“I’m not sure, but you may have been his child slave in some drug cartel in the past. Whether it was in Wonderland or the real world, I don’t know.”
“So, Wonderland is real?” He sits back.
“It is.”
“I can’t believe it.”
“Why? You seem to have persuaded half of the girls in Oxford it is.”
“A hope. A child’s wish. Reality is a bit scary. And I’m a Wonderlander?”
“Yes. The Pillar himself.”
“That whack atop a mushroom.”
“If you want to call yourself names, yes.”
“Wait.” He closes his eyes. “Why do I remember a book?”
“A book?”
“A book by Lewis Carroll.” He stands up again and starts to rummage through his wall-long library, dropping books left and right. “If you’re from the future, you should know what I am searching for.”
“I’m not sure. What book?”
“This!” He shows it to me. “Alice’s Adventures Under Ground.”
I am about to shriek. It’s the same book he showed me in the future, the first time I met him.
“One of the few original copies in the world,” the Pillar says. “Just remembered now when you told me. Why do I remember it now?”
I watch the dark smile on the Pillar’s face. A nerdy professor about to turn into a madman and kill twelve people. He is staring at the same book that drove him mad. This time, I really need to sit down and contemplate. I realized I’ve just triggered the Pillar’s madness.
Mrs. Tock is definitely right. The future can’t be changed. It will always find a way.