THE PRESENT: PILLAR’S CELL, RADCLIFFE ASYLUM
T om Truckle, having made a deal with the Pillar, keeps me in the Pillar VIP cell upstairs. It’s a lonely place up there in the empty ward. But it’s necessary to have everyone else think I’m still dead at this point. I understand.
The Pillar doesn’t use the cell anymore. He said he wanted to make something useful out of his days alive. When I asked where he’ll be, he said: “Where madness is a virtue.”
I can’t imagine where that would be, but he promised me he’ll have a great time.
All until next week’s monster arrives.
Now in the Pillar’s cell, Tom brings me my Tiger Lily pot from downstairs. He sets it next to me and asks me if I need anything else. I thank him, and he leaves.
I spend hours and hours trying to solve a few mysteries in my head. Like why I had to kill those on the bus, where it was going, and who my future husband really is.
And why the Pillar really helped me. I keep the note about his Wonder with me all the time, worrying I’ll lose it. I need to find a safe place to hide it.
Sometimes Jack comes to mind, but I cry the thoughts away. And then I’m fine.
Even when I can’t stop thinking about him, I remind myself he is alive and happy. It helps, not much, but it makes me not cry.
I remember my future husband. I don’t know what to think of him. Hey, I’m too young to think of it, even if time pushes me to marry him.
But all I think about are my children. They break my heart. They mend my heart. They make me laugh. Make me cry. I know it’s a weird way to put it, but they’re the light of my life. They’re the reason I will keep on fighting, even though I won’t meet them until several years from now.
It puzzles me how time didn’t consider them my Wonder. Maybe because they didn’t happen yet.
Not that I’m really convinced by the Pillar’s explanation of my Wonder, me saving Jack, but I can live with it.
At night, I hug the Tiger Lily pot and think of my children. Then I realize I need to take care of it in a better way. I need to quench its thirst and make sure its roots are fine.
So I spend the night checking the pot.
This is when an idea comes to me. To bury the Pillar’s note in the mud in the pot. Carefully, I start digging through it with my thumb.
Instead of tucking the Pillar’s note inside, I find another note. One similar to the Pillar’s.
What’s going on? Did I do this before in the loop of time?
I dig the note up, rub away the dirt, and unfold it. It’s in handwriting that I think is mine. The words delight me. They make sense:
This is me, writing a note to me. Don’t panic. Time is a loop we’ll never understand. Just read the note:
A little lower, it says:
You’re alive because you found your Wonder. Which isn’t Jack. Your Wonder is YOU, Alice. Beating the evil inside.
My heart flutters with a mix of euphoric emotions. I even hug the thin note. I am fine with the Wonder being mine, although I’m oblivious to how and when I wrote this message.
It doesn’t matter.
I beat the evil me. I beat my recklessness, my anger, and my weakness to Black Chess. My name is Alice Wonder, and I save lives.