The Queen’s Limousine
“L OL.” The Queen grinned, sipping her champagne.
“Please don’t say that,” Margaret said, incredibly annoyed by her company.
“LOL!” Jack followed, cheering with Lorina.
“You can’t say LOL, My Queen,” Margaret protested. “This is real life, not Facebook.”
“What do you want me to say? Laughing Out Loud?” the Queen said.
“Not even that. Just laugh,” Margaret said.
“But how would you know I’m laughing out loud? It’s hard to express how much I’m laughing without telling out loud that I’m laughing. Right, Jack?”
Jack, Lorina, and the Queen clinked glasses and cheered as if they were drunk students on prom night.
Margaret could not fathom what was really going on, but she had to ask. “Why do you feel you have to laugh out loud now? Is it because Alice is going to die now?”
“Nah,” the Queen said. “A minute ago I remembered that they may think they’ve found a way out of the asylum.”
“How so?”
“The Pillar used some spell which opened a hole that lead to the underground tunnels,” the Queen said. “This was how Pillar escaped the asylum repeatedly.”
“Really? How do you know that?”
“I’ll get to that in a minute. The brilliant part of the story is that I can imagine them thinking about using the hole for escape — that’s assuming the Pillar is inside as well.”
Since Interpol had announced the Pillar as the head of the terrorist organization, Margaret had already assumed he was inside. Her messenger must have planned that part as well. However, she was curious about the Queen’s story about that hole. “So we should tell your men about this hole, right?”
“Nah.” The Queen raised her glass. “They’ll discover it’s not working anymore. It’s either totally blocked or too small for anyone to pass through.”
“Really, how do you know all that?”
“I found out about the hole two weeks back and arranged for its size to be shrunk. Don’t worry. They can’t leave.”
“Please Queen, I’m curious.” Margaret leaned forward. “How could you have known? The Pillar is usually meticulous and careful enough you wouldn’t be able to fool him so easily.”
“Not when time travel is involved.” The Queen winked.
“Time travel?”
“Mr. Tick and Mrs. Tock had traveled back in time for a mission of their own and told me about the Pillar’s trick when they came back.”
“Unbelievable.”
“I promised them a few favors in exchange for a little tweak in the timeline.”
“You mean you sent them back again to change the tunnel?”
“Sometimes you’re smarter than I think you are, Duchess.” The Queen clinked glasses with Jack and Lorina again. “Last week I sent them to shrink the hole, and now the Inklings can’t leave.”
“But wait a minute. This means…” Margaret was furious. She’d suddenly discovered she’d been played and manipulated by the shortest and most obnoxious ogre in the world. The Queen of Hearts.
“Yes, dear Margaret.” The Queen nodded. “I knew about the invitation. I knew about the message you received.”
“And you acted as if you didn’t know about the message? Why?”
“You’ll understand soon enough.” The Queen stuck out her tongue like child.
“But you’re not the messenger,” Margaret contemplated.
“No, I’m not. I’m just a helping hand. Don’t worry, Duchess,” the Queen said. “Something horribly beautiful is going to happen today. Just remember, I’m smarter than you. In fact, I’m smarter than all of you! And by the way, I was just bluffing when I told the police we’re going to barge in. I just wanted Alice to come out and get shot!”