The Mush Room
T ears trickle down my cheeks as I shock the March. Every time I want to stop, he insists that I have to keep going. Then, when I totally stop, he tells me he remembered something and that I should continue. After a couple of times, I asked him what he remembered, he said he lied to me to get going.
“I can’t do this,” I say.
“You can’t stop now or all this pain you’ve caused me will be in vain,” he says.
I hate this insane logic. I hate this. I feel like I’m torturing a child. And it’s not like I don’t know how it feels. I’ve been mushed long enough to understand. How can I be doing this to someone else?
“Tell me the truth, March?” I demand. “Why are we doing this?”
“I told you, I met Patient 14 in The Hole.”
“Are you sure?”
“It’s a blurry memory, but I believe it’s him.”
“What does he look like? What did he tell you?”
“That’s why I need shock therapy. Do it, Alice.”
I’m hesitant. The world is closing down on us. “Not unless you tell me more. I feel that you know more.”
“I don’t.”
“You’re lying. I hate to tell you this, but in the cell with writing on the wall you had a memory back in Wonderland. What was that all about?”
“Forget it, Alice. Let’s focus on Patient 14.”
“I want to know about your brief Wonderland memory. I want to know about the Hatter.”
“He is just a cool dude who I loved so much.”
“No, you’re lying again. Why were you looking for him?”
“To attend one of his mad tea parties. You don’t need to know anything about him. I’ve never met him in this world. He never left Wonderland.”
“March, I’ve once seen the Hatter in a restaurant where Elton John was playing,” I tell him. “I was talking to Jack and the Pillar came along, too.”
“This can’t be.”
“I’m telling you.”
“Did he tell you he was the Hatter?”
“No, but someone had pointed it out. I’m not remembering clearly.”
“That’s because not everything that’s happening to you is real, Alice,” the March says bluntly, now weakened by the therapy.
“Are you saying I’m really imagining things?” I feel like something is stuck in my throat.
“Some things. Not all. Us, now, it’s all real.”
I move closer to his face, unable to stop crying. What have I done to him by shocking him? “You’re still not telling me the whole truth, March. You’re distracting me with talking about the Hatter. It’s the Pillar you’ve seen in the memory.”
The March doesn’t reply.
“It’s the Pillar, isn’t it?”
Nothing.
“Why are you hiding this from me? You saw the Pillar in Wonderland. You were so afraid of him. You said he killed children. Why are you keeping this part from me?”
“If I tell you will you continue the therapy?” The March stares into my eyes.
“This isn’t the right time to bargain.”
“It is, Alice. The prices and stakes are high. Things are coming to an end and we have to deal with the consequences of knowing the truth.”
“I know the truth. Part of it at least. The part that deals with the Pillar. He killed my family and I tried to avenge them by foolishly joining him and Black Chess. I walked into the beast’s den, thinking I could outsmart him, but he fooled me and outsmarted the heck out of me. And now, after all these years, the beast played the same game with me. He came to me, offered his help, offered to join me, convinced me I could save lives. And I believed him, only he wanted something else. Something I’m assuming is the Keys.”
“I know it’s me who told you about your family being killed, but I was wrong.” The March coughs… blood.
“What?”
“I wasn’t wrong about your family being killed. At least, that is what the writing and my memory in the cell proved.”
“Then what were you wrong about?”
“I was wrong about assuming the Pillar is Him.”