“Y ou?” I glare at him.
“No, it’s not me.” The Pillar winks. “And I’m fine, thank you for asking.”
“How did you get in here?” Tom asks behind me.
“Dear Tom.” The Pillar drags from his pipe. “You have no idea how hard it is for a cripple with a bullet in his leg to climb up a waterpipe, wearing a police officer’s clothes?”
It suddenly hits me that Pillar is wearing one of those red, white, and black Queen’s Guard’s uniform — with the black hat and all.
“You killed Jack, you bastard.” I grit my teeth and step forward with the dead March on my back.
“Easy.” The Pillar waves a hand and points at the chair. “Highly flammable.”
“You activated the chair?” Tom says.
“I thought you needed help with a volunteer,” the Pillar says. “I figured with a crippled leg and another bullet scratch on my left arm — and being the world’s most wanted terrorist — I’d take that bullet for you guys.”
“Great,” Tom says. “So all is solved. We should go now.”
“Wait,” Constance says then turns to face the Pillar. “Why do this?”
“I’ve always loved exploding chairs,” he replies. “Wish they had those in the Circus.”
“The chair will not explode as long as you’re on it,” Constance says. “You’re risking turning yourself in when the police arrive.”
“And saving you,” the Pillar remarks.
“I can see that; you’re saving us.” Constance approaches him closer, trying to read his eyes. “But why? Why are you doing all of this? Why visit me before all of this began and ask if Alice was the Real Alice? Who are you?”
“But I thought you figured me out,” He says. “I’m the Caterpillar, remember?”
“Answer her,” I insist. “You need to tell us what you have in mind. You need to tell us how it’s possible you can kill Jack and yet want to save us all? You’re driving me insane.”
“You were insane when I came here, so don’t point fingers,” the Pillar says playfully. “But if you really want to know. Jack was going to kill you.”
“Nonsense!” I say.
“The Queen convinced him he had to do it to prove his loyalty,” the Pillar explains. “She promised him a few things every young man would love to have.”
“And Jack agreed?” I feel the weight of the world upon my shoulders.
“It’s a boy thing. Us men love to kill our exes. It’s kinda like washing after you eat. Leave no traces.”
“That’s not cool to joke about.” Constance holds my free hand. “Let’s go, Alice. He is a mad man.”
I don’t listen to her. “So you killed the Queen because you were mad at her for persuading Jack to kill me?”
“Not at all,” he says nonchalantly. “I just couldn’t resist blowing up that head made of poop walking on legs. It’s pretty satisfying, the feeling of blowing up a dictator’s head. You should try it some time.”
“Now let’s go!” Tom stands by the door. “We’re wasting time.”
I approach the Pillar, close enough to make the conversation seem personal. “You’re sure you’re not my father?”
“Positive,” he says. I believe him. He has that rare look of being serious in his eyes. No curtains of a faked-person hiding his intentions.
“And are you a good man or a bad man?”
“Kinda Batman,” he returns in a flash.
“So there is no use knowing who you are before I say goodbye?” I lean back.
“All you need to know is in that Tiger Lily pot,” he says. “You have it locked in a safe box at the airport, I think?”
“How could one word possibly explain all of this?” I say.
“It’s a very delicate word.” His eyes moisten for a second. I see truth in them again. “One we overlook every day.”
“Really?”
“The most precious thing.”
“Does it explain what the Wonderland War is about, too?”
“It explains everything.”
“And it’s your Wonder, all at the same time. I find that hard to believe, Pillar.”
He closes his eyes, as if enjoying the taste of a delicious meal. “You haven’t called me Pillar in a long time. I like it.”
“I’m not sure I share the same feeling,” I say.
“I understand. What matters now is that you go.” He arranges himself comfortably in the chair. “I have a chair to sit on and a world to save. Do you have the British anthem on tape here somewhere, Tom?”
“British anthem?” Tom is confused, so are we. “I’m sure you’ll find it on the radio next to the console. Why’d you need it?”
The Pillar smiles bitterly and swivels the chair around. “So long Alice of Wonderland. It’s been frabjous doing business with you. I think you have ten minutes left, so use them wisely.”