Present: The Wonderland War, London
“F abiola!” I say. “You’re alive?”
“Why in Wonderland’s name didn’t you kill him?” Fabiola limped in the distance, blood covering her face.
I am stunned and numb. Almost dizzy with both shock and happiness.
“How come you’re alive?” I say, my legs cemented in my place, unable to run toward her and hug her.
“Just stab the Pillar in the neck,” Fabiola was running closer.
“Is everyone else alive?” I can’t stop myself from asking.
“Then after you stab him, grab his hookah,” Fabiola wouldn’t answer my question. “Then choke him with its hose. It’s the only way to kill him forever.”
It escaped me why Fabiola wants the Pillar dead now. She had all the time in the world. I can understand the Reds playing games with me and convincing me I should kill him. But Fabiola certainly wouldn’t lie to me. Besides I couldn’t kill him. And how come Fabiola is alive?
But I’m glad I didn’t kill her. I need to know if Constance is alive. If Jack is alive.
Fabiola arrives and snatches the Vorpal sword from my hands. God, she looks awful. It’s a mystery how she is still alive. Such a tough woman.
I let her have what she wants, occupied with looking closer at her and making sure she is real and not a figment of my imagination.
She swings the heavy sword in the air and aims at the Pillar’s neck. For a moment, I’m so sure she will kill him. Her furious eyes could not miss.
But the Pillar is no easy feat. He does stop her and in the most unusual way. He doesn’t duck. He doesn’t run. He doesn’t hit back.
All he does is pull out a mushroom from his pocket and shove it her way up in the air.
Fabiola stops hands mid-air, looking at the mushroom as if she has seen the devil.
“Addiction is a bitch, isn’t it?” the Pillar says with a smirk.
Fabiola is speechless, frozen with surprise, sword in the air. Just like me a few minutes ago.
But something about the Pillar’s smirk bothers me. I mean this is the man I’ve spent most of my time with for the past few months. I’ve seen him live, kill, laugh, sad, stoned, and I’ve surely seen him smirk. This smirk he gave Fabiola was… fake.
I am not sure how because he is definitely making fun of her. But something isn’t right.
While the world is in turmoil all around us, time stands still between the three of us.
The Pillar smirking. Fabiola gritting her teeth. I am trying to understand what’s going on between them.
“I will kill you eventually,” Fabiola tells him.
This time the Pillar’s smirk fades. He nods in a sincere way I can’t fathom.
The heavy moment is interrupted by the arrival of a fourth person. A man driving a scooter. He stops like a reckless child, letting the scooter roll on as he jumps off it. Looking closer I see he is wearing a Joker’s mask. He snakes his way between me and Fabiola and heads right to the Pillar.
“Not Fabiola,” the Joker says. “I’m going to kill the Pillar, now that I know how.”
Somehow I understand this is the Cheshire. True, he never has a concrete face, neither a voice to recognize him, but it’s the devilish way he talks that gives him away. He is like a corrupted kid, aiming to cause chaos for no reason but his own amusement.
The Cheshire jumps high in the air with hands stretched like a lion’s paws, ready to kill the Pillar.
But soon enough the Cheshire falls onto his Joker’s face.
What happened?
Things happened so fast, I have no concrete idea why the Cheshire lies face down on the street.
Then I see the Pillar holding a cucumber next to the mushroom.
Should I smile at the irony now? In all this mess?”
“He wasn’t going to kill you with the mushroom in your hands anyways,” Fabiola says to the Pillar. “You got the Cheshire addicted to mushrooms, just like me.”
“I know,” the Pillar said, amusing himself with the look of the sprawled Cheshire on the asphalt. “But I couldn’t resist the fun. I mean why cats are afraid of cucumbers still amuses me.”
“How about me?” I tell him.
“Don’t you have a Jabberwocky to kill?” He purses his lips at me. “Stay out of our family business,” he points at the Cheshire and Fabiola.
“Fabiola and the Cheshire can’t kill you because of their weaknesses,” I say. “Why can’t I?”
“Well you have another weakness,” he says. “Mirrors.”
I nod in shame. I know my weakness of mirrors.
“But walking around with a mirror is a bit of a hassle. I barely carry my hookah and it annoys me sometimes.”
“You didn’t shove a mirror my way anyway,” I say. “Why couldn’t I kill you, Pillar?”
“You’re smarter than asking a question like that,” his eyes aren’t looking at mine. He is facing Fabiola.
“You’re bonded to him,” Fabiola says, looking back at the Pillar. “It’s always been his plan.”
“Plan?”
“Oh, God, Alice, you’re so naive,” the Cheshire stands up and puts his Joker face back on. “The Pillar bonded with you by making you like him. All the time you spent with him, knowing him. All the stuff he taught you was his way to avoid you killing him. You’ve always been the only one who could kill him and Jabberwocky.”
The lump in my throat is thick and bitter enough it can kill. I’m Alice’s naive and fragile soul. “Why?” My voice is barely audible.
“We don’t know,” Fabiola says. “Since you came back from the Looking Glass, you’ve brought Dark Alice with you. Since then you’ve been both a tender hand, but also a threat to everyone. This is why the Jabberwocky killed your parents, so he can break your heart and weaken you.”
“Is that true?” I ask the Pillar, unable to stop the tears in my eyes. Goddamn it, I realize I love this man.
“The greatest trick the devil ever pulled is making you think he is your friend,” he says with that smirk again.
I can’t tell what’s wrong with the smirk, but who cares. My life and journey with this man makes sense now. Whatever he keeps telling me, Fabiola’s story makes more sense. He made me like him and put me under a spell strong enough I can’t kill him. Perfect plan.
“Go kill the Jabberwocky and save the children, Alice,” the Pillar says. “Let me handle Fabiola and Chesh. We have our own past to resolve.”
I grab my sword from Fabiola, tears still welling in my eyes.
“I’ll take your scooter,” I tell the Cheshire, not sure how I feel.
“I kinda need to go home,” he protests.
“Shut up,” I wave my sword in the air and pick up the scooter.
But I stop. I turn around. I have to ask the Pillar one last thing, “If you’re such a scumbag, how come you want the Jabberwocky dead? Are you using me to kill him so you rule Black Chess?”
“The children,” he says.
“What about them?”
“I’m who I am because of the bullies in my childhood,” he says. “What if I can do one last good thing and help the children have a better life?”
“Blah, blah, blah,” Fabiola says. “Don’t believe him. Just go, Alice.”
“And what about you?” I ask Fabiola. “Why not warn me from the beginning? Why did you want to kill me at some point from the beginning?”
“Because we’re all like Lewis Carroll,” she says firmly. “We all have a Carolus inside us. You had Bad Alice, Dark Alice, whatever. And you’re goddamn strong. I feared you would let the Dark Alice win. It’s been a journey full of hard decisions to make Alice. All we care about is the children.”
I step over the scooter, feeling lonely and without a friend. With the Pillar exposed and Fabiola conflicted, Lewis confused, I wonder if Constance can be my only friend.
“Is Constance alive?” I ask Fabiola, not bothering to ask how they’re still alive when I saw them die.
“She is, but you have to find the Jabberwocky.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” I tell her. “I will do what I see as right for me. Enough with Alice going to save the world. I want Alice to save herself. I will find Constance.”
None of them say anything. I guess my voice is authoritative enough they don’t want to confront me.
Before I go to look for Constance, I use my sword and swing at the Pillar’s hands, forcing him to drop the cucumber and mushroom.
“Maybe I can’t kill you, but they can,” I point at Fabiola and Cheshire.
I leave on the scooter. And since the Pillar’s limousine disappeared, the Pillar starts running as Fabiola and Cheshire give chase.