The hours go by and I remain tied to the cot. Zentrica’s words play on repeat in my head. I try to banish them. Burn them. It’s no use. How can she say such things about her own mother? Mami never betrayed us. She was sick. The sueños helped her. It was because of Yamaris she overmedicated. It was an accident. I won’t let her reimagine history.
My father wants to see me. No. I will never give him the satisfaction. I will never forgive them. He also failed my mother. Their selfishness killed her.
I hear footsteps. I expect it to be another one of the Ashé Ryders, checking in. When they do, they ask me if I’m ready to be untied. I usually respond with curses.
“Leave me alone,” I yell. My voice hurts. I’m thirsty. No water and food for who knows how long.
Truck steps in front of the cot. She takes a seat at the edge. “Hey,” she says. Her expression is serious.
I try to loosen the binds that keep me fixed to the bed. They are secured tight. Truck doesn’t lift a finger to help. Punishment, for screwing everything. Or maybe she’s made a deal with Zentrica. My body for a permanent stay in the Ashé Ryders’ garden party? Naw. I can see Smiley doing that or maybe Shi. Not Truck. She is not a joiner. I stop trying to break free.
“What?” I ask. She shrugs. This won’t be easy. I must play nice until Truck decides to say what she has come here to say. Payback for my wrongdoings.
“So, I take it you’re the leader of the LMCs now?” I say.
Instead of loosening my bonds, Truck tightens them. My fingertips start to go numb. I won’t be able to keep this up for much longer.
“I never pictured you for a rat. The salad they’re serving must have potent herbs in it for you to buy into this neat story.” My hands are falling asleep. A slow burning sensation covers my arm.
“I can’t take these straps for much longer!” My neck is the only body part I can move.
“You’re an idiot,” Truck says after a delay. “Nice work, though. What were you planning to do next? Was that a preview earlier, an opening act to the main event, or was it all part of this fun trip? Because believe me, it’s been epic so far.”
She loosens the binds. I feel an overwhelming urge to cry. I concentrate on my wrists, rubbing the rope burns. If I do so, I can push back on this hurt.
Truck pulls my hand toward her and rubs the red marks on my wrists, hard. I don’t complain. We sit in silence. I don’t know how to make amends for what I’ve done to her and the LMCs.
“What were we meant to do here?” she asks.
“What I said back in Mega City still holds true. We gather information and relay it to Déesse.”
“But . . . ,” she says. “Don’t you think Déesse will consider you an enemy if your own blood is the leader of the Ryders?”
“I’m sticking to the mission. My loyalty stays forever with Mega. They raised me. Not my sister. Not the Ashé Ryders.”
Truck shakes her head. “Then let me finish her,” she says. “She’s hurt you. Imagine how grateful Déesse will be. Off the leader of the Ashé Ryders. From what I’ve seen, it should be easy.”
I don’t know what to say. What Truck offers seems an easy enough solution. I hesitate, which is evidence Zentrica has more of a hold than I can admit. By saying yes to Truck I will cross a line. How different would that make us from the Deadly Venoms? They killed Manos Dura and got away with it. They did it simply to prove a point. Can I do the same with my own blood? Am I that heartless?
“The LMCs aren’t punks,” she says. “Nena suffers because you’re too afraid. Talk to me. Dammit. Your silence has jeopardized the LMCs for too long.”
I can’t keep the tears from streaming down no matter how hard I try. Seeing how disappointed Truck is with me is too much. I’m too wrapped up in feelings I can’t explain. A new revelation hits me hard. Truck is wrong. I am a punk.
“Zentrica is my sister. I can’t let you hurt her,” I say. “I can’t.”
Truck chews on my admission. Lets it sink in. She doesn’t let go of my hand. I’m brought back to the first time I met Truck. Our friendship wasn’t instant. We were forced together, a predicament similar to the one we are in now.
I walked inside the training camp scared out of my mind. Mami was dead. My sister and father gone. I can remember the Rompe Cocos holding court in a spacious room. They were the crew leading the training camps at the time. I was placed next to a skinny girl who sniffled back tears. I paid her no mind and sidled closer to a bigger girl to my right. That was my first mistake.
“Move!” the big girl boomed. Then she shoved me with such force I landed right on top of the skinny girl. Kids laughed their heads off. I couldn’t let what she did stick.
Hit first and hit hard. It’s what I did to the big girl. I ran on top of her and threw blow upon blow until she was bleeding through her nose. The skinny girl cried next to her, and I lunged for her, too.
We were led to the stage. Blood spilled from the big girl’s nose. My shirt was ripped.
“What’s your names, young guns?” asked the Rompe Coco.
“Nalah,” I said. I tried to steady my breathing.
“Cyn,” the skinny girl said.
“Soledad,” the big girl said.
“From now on, you are going to be called Baby Rocka and you’ll be Truck,” she says. “As for you, skinny shit, you’re going to be Flaca Nada, because you played bystander while Baby Rocka fought. Now sit down and shut up.”
I went to sit farthest away from the newly anointed Truck.
“No, you shit. You three are going to be partners. Sit your ass right next to her.”
The Rompe Cocos went over the rules of the camp. When we were meant to wake up (at dawn), the exercise (every day for eight hours), and our meals (two meals a day). Fridays would be fight nights, where the kids would prove their worth. I listened as best I could. It was hard to concentrate with Truck muttering threats throughout the whole speech.
When they told us we would be sleeping right next to each other on the floor, the intimidation continued. However, it was Flaca Nada who proved to be our biggest problem. My eyes were heavy and I wanted to sleep. Flaca lay there whimpering, crying for her mother.
“I want to go home,” she said.
Truck hushed her with a fist in the mouth. Any noise and we would get in trouble.
“Shut it or we’re going to get kicked out,” I pleaded with her. Flaca couldn’t stop sobbing.
“I want to go home,” she continued. Her voice was so desperate. I felt it too. I wanted to give in to the feeling of hopelessness.
“Stupid. Shut your mouth,” Truck said. “This is your home now. Close your eyes before I poke them.”
Then Truck started to gently caress Flaca’s forehead, back and forth. No one else could see her doing it. But I could. Truck continued until Flaca’s eyes weighed down, until she gave in to the exhaustion. With Truck’s tenderness, Flaca slept nestled between us.
“What are you looking at?” Truck hissed. I rolled my eyes. We didn’t sleep much. I guess we were both nervous Flaca would wake again.
We did what we could to keep Flaca from falling apart. There wasn’t enough time. Her days were numbered and we knew it. It came on Friday, the day of the practice throwdown.
“You two, fight each other.”
I would beat Truck in a heartbeat. Kick her ass good. No, Flaca had to battle Truck.
“Don’t hold back,” I yelled. Flaca didn’t know what to do. She tried to punch Truck. Landed a pathetic right on Truck’s bulge. The hits were brutal, and everyone cheered. I watched. Every blow tore me up, made me harder, too.
One solid jab sent Flaca flying across the stage. No one went to help her, to see if she was okay. Tears streamed down Truck’s round cheeks. I didn’t cry. I held the knot in.
“How do you feel about your sister? She doesn’t have enough respect to defend herself. Finish her.”
Truck shook her head.
“You better finish that girl, or I’ll finish you.”
The trainer strolled over to Truck, her hands balled into fists. Before she reached Truck, I jumped in front.
“No,” I yelled.
I couldn’t see Truck or Flaca getting beat anymore. I couldn’t let that happen.
“No?” The trainer laughed. “Baby Rocka thinks she’s got a say. I’ll show you what’s up.”
The trainer pulled back her fist and slammed it across my face. It was lights out. I found out later Truck got beat too. As for Flaca, they dumped her outside. I don’t know what became of her. I never saw her again.
Things changed between me and Truck. We survived the training camp and found others to make Las Mal Criadas. I shed the name Baby Rocka and became Chief Rocka. We clawed our way through Mega City.
“Ever since we met at the training camp, you’ve shown me underneath the fists and the anger, there is also heart,” I say. “I haven’t leaned on you as much as I should have. I thought a real leader must do it alone. I was wrong. You’re my ride or die. From now on, I will follow your lead as much as you follow mine.”
“What about Zentrica? What about your sister?”
“She will never have my back,” I say. “She hasn’t been through what we’ve been through.”
She squeezes my hand. The tears continue to flow.
“Ugly,” she says. “What do we do now?”
“Zentrica is letting us go. It’s what she said, and I believe her. We go back to Mega and give Déesse the lowdown,” I say. “First, there are a couple of bohios the Ashé Ryders seem to guard. Have you noticed?”
Truck raises her eyebrow. “Definitely,” she says. “I overheard one of them say they’ll need to expand their storage. Weapons, perhaps?”
I take the glass of water she offers, grateful she doesn’t mention anything about my emotions.
I nod. “Yeah. I’m not buying this peaceful hype they keep dishing. It has to be a front.”
“Did you see how the men talk? I almost clocked that old man.”
I smile. “I’m surprised it didn’t go down. They are following the old ways. Déesse always says men will be our downfall. The Ashé Ryders are stupid.”
My father is in this camp. I can’t wrap my head around it. Zentrica said they had to leave Mega City. I would bet everything it was my father’s idea to bail on the family. Only a man would be so cruel. I hope I never run into him.
“Apparently my father is alive. Can you believe it?”
“For real? The hell. This was a bullshit family reunion. Have you seen him yet? Was it the old man at the bath?”
“No. I don’t think so. Who cares? You think I want to listen to a man who calls himself my father? It’s a meaningless title. He can never redeem himself for what he did to Mami.”
“And to you,” Truck says.
Truck is the only girl born in a family of three boys. Her father and brothers work at the sueño factories. Her mother tends their station. Truck sees them once a month, bearing gifts. Food. Items she’s found along the way. This is why Truck loves the papis so much. She misses her brothers and the way things used to be before she had to enter the camp.
I try to imagine how different my circumstances would have been if my father had stuck to the plan and worked at the sueño factories. For starters, I would not be in this bohio dealing with a hateful sister. Why ruin a good thing? Mega is not an easy city. There are ways to make it great. Work hard. Keep to your script. You move up. I can attest to that. When I return to my city, I’ll be rewarded for the many years of grinding.
“Let’s gather the others and find what the Ashé Ryders are hiding.”
The urgency to leave burns. If the Ashés try to enter Mega City, the whole city will rain on them. I may not be the one leading the charge, but I’ll definitely be the one igniting the spark.
“So. Are you happy you found her?” Truck asks.
“No. She should have left me alone in Mega City,” I say. “This mistake she will regret forever.”
My life will be back to normal. Distance is what I need—and the LMCs beside me.