APPENDIX

Meditations

Body scan

A body scan involves finding a comfortable, safe space where you can sit or lie down quietly. The aim of this practice is to simply notice each part of your body, without changing anything or being judgemental.

You can begin by taking your awareness to your toes or the top of your head. For example, you may notice your toes, then the balls of your feet, the arches of your feet, your heels, the tops of your feet, your lower legs, knees, and so on. Continue to move your awareness through your body, all the way up to the top of your head. You can do this practice quickly (if you only have a short amount of time) or you can slow it down and focus on each body part in depth. For example, you could focus on your hand as a whole, or explore your right wrist, the palm of your right hand, the back of your right hand, your right knuckles, each finger (one at a time) and each fingernail.

Once you’ve scanned your awareness through your body, you can spend some time focusing on your body as a whole, and then end the meditation when you feel ready.

Take a moment to lie down or sit comfortably with your spine fairly straight, and close your eyes. You may like to spend some time bringing yourself into the present moment by tuning in to your senses, noticing your breath and settling yourself into the environment around you.

When you’re ready, take your attention down to the tips of your toes. Allow your attention to rest there for a moment.

Move your focus to the rest of your toes, then the arches of your feet, your heels and the tops of your feet.

Notice your ankles and lower legs. See if you can feel their weight, sinking into the furniture or floor.

Bring your attention to your knees and the backs of your knees, exploring any sensations there.

Feel the strong muscles in the top parts of your leg, including your hamstrings, quadriceps and inner thighs.

Move your focus to your groin, pelvis, hips and glutes.

Continue moving your attention further up your lower stomach, noticing your bellybutton. Observe any sensations there.

Rest your focus for a moment on your ribs and chest. You might like to explore the soft movements of these areas as they rise and fall with each breath.

Bring your attention to your right shoulder. Allow your attention to trickle down your right arm, noticing your upper arm, then your elbow, your lower arm and wrist. Explore the palm of your right hand and the back of your hand, then try to notice each finger, one by one. Your little finger, ring finger, middle finger, index finger and your thumb. You may even notice your fingernails.

Slowly, allow your attention to flow back up your right arm to your shoulder, across your chest and over to the left shoulder.

Begin to move your focus down your left arm, starting with your upper arm, then your elbow, your lower arm and wrist.

Notice the palm of your left hand and the back of your hand. Bring your attention to your left little finger, ring finger, middle finger, index finger and thumb. Try to notice each of your fingernails.

Gently allow your attention to move back up your arm and when it reaches your shoulder, feel that attention flowing over your upper back and lower back, like a wave washing over the sand.

Imagine your spine like a string of pearls and bring your attention to the bottom of the string of pearls, just at your tailbone. With each breath, move your focus slowly up your spine, taking all the time you need. When you reach the top, take a few easy, soft breaths, feeling the entirety of your back.

Invite your attention to continue moving up your neck, to the back of your head. See if you can notice the sides of your head and the top of your head. If you are lying down, you may notice the contact of your head with the floor or furniture, or maybe you can simply feel the support of your neck, holding your head up.

Move your attention to your forehead, eyebrows and temples. Notice your eyes and eyelids and explore the sensations of all the little muscles here. Feel your cheeks and nose, your upper lip, lower lip and your tongue, resting heavily in your mouth.

Notice the lower part of your jaw, the upper part of your jaw and your ears.

Take a few more easy breaths and begin to sense your body as a whole. Your entire body resting heavily, perhaps feeling a sensation of relaxation and support.

You may like to spend a few moments observing these sensations.

When you’re ready, bring your attention back to the room by noticing what you can hear, taste, smell or feel. You may notice your breath by following the journey of each inhale and exhale. Take as much time as you like to slowly open your eyes and notice everything around you.

Meditation for self-love

Find somewhere quiet to sit and spend a little bit of time getting comfortable. When you feel ready, close your eyes.

Begin to bring your attention into the present moment by noticing:

       •   the connection between your body and the floor

       •   the sounds in the room around you and further away

       •   any tastes or aromas

       •   areas of tension and relaxation in your body, plus areas of warmth and coolness

       •   how you’re feeling emotionally.

Once you feel more grounded and connected with the present moment, do a gentle scan through your body, noticing each body part from the top of your head all the way down to the tips of your toes.

Now allow a kind and positive thought about yourself to float into your awareness. It may take a little bit of time and you may notice a variety of different thoughts before you settle on one that resonates.

A few examples might be:

       •   I appreciate my individuality.

       •   I love the person I am.

       •   I embrace myself and everything that makes me who I am.

       •   I admire both my strengths and my weaknesses.

       •   I am proud of myself.

Once you have a kind and positive thought in your mind, try to immerse yourself in the meaning of it. For example, explore what it feels like to be proud of yourself. Notice where you can feel that emotion in your body. It might help to bring to mind someone else you’re proud of and transfer your affection for them towards yourself.

You may feel challenged during this meditation, and that’s perfectly okay! Let go of any unnecessary thoughts and refocus on either your positive thoughts, or take a break by noticing your breath.

When you feel ready, you can bring your attention back to the room, noticing all your senses and how you feel.

Soothing touch

Place one hand over the part of your body where you feel the most stress. For me, this tends to be my chest or stomach. Notice the warmth of your hand and the gentle pressure of it against your body. If it feels soothing to you, feel free to gently rub the area in small circles, or imagine a warm light emanating from your hand into that stressed area of your body. If you choose to picture the warm light, you can also experiment with visualising the stress melting away from the area; you might picture it as a dark sticky substance like tar that will melt and dissolve, or a hot red liquid that evaporates and disappears).

Progressive muscle relaxation

The aim of this strategy is to systematically isolate and tense your muscles and then release the tension while paying close attention to the sensation of relaxation.

For example, you might start with your feet by squeezing all the muscles in that area and then releasing them. You can continue up your entire body – your lower legs, upper legs, groin and buttocks, stomach, chest, upper back, upper arms, lower arms and hands. You can then do one final squeeze using your entire body and allow yourself to sink into the floor or seat, becoming heavy and relaxed.

Alternatively, you can choose particular muscles that you know often tense up when you’re stressed, and focus on deliberately tensing and relaxing them.

Be careful not to tense your muscles so much that you feel pain or discomfort – the aim is simply to experience a sense of relaxation.

Meditation for self-compassion

Find a comfortable space to sit quietly. Start becoming grounded in the present moment by doing some mindful breathing or a short body scan, or tune in to each of your senses. You may also like to close your eyes.

When you feel ready, start to observe your emotions – without judgement. Simply notice how you’re feeling. For example, you might notice that you’re feeling hurt, sad, guilty, stressed or angry. There may be a whole constellation of emotions.

Begin to imagine some kind words you would say to a friend if they were experiencing all your present emotions. How would you comfort them? What would you say to ensure they felt loved and supported?

Now begin to direct those kind words to yourself and your emotions.

Practise speaking to yourself in a compassionate way and acknowledge all your emotions with kindness and open-mindedness.

It can also help to imagine yourself holding each of your emotions in your hands and gently exploring each one – what they look like and feel like.

Once you’ve finished compassionately exploring your emotions, bring your attention back to the room and open your eyes.