Simple tips for a better sleep
At 1 am, I turned my bedside light back on and picked up my book, desperate for a reprieve from my racing thoughts and the building frustration of not being able to fall asleep. Eventually, I drifted off, only to wake up thirty minutes before my morning alarm with stressful thoughts immediately flooding my mind. During the day, I felt exhausted and scattered because I wasn’t getting enough sleep.
This was a common occurrence for me in my younger years. Not only did I have trouble falling (and staying) asleep, I also made poor choices when it came to my sleeping habits. I left my phone on loud, so that calls and texts would wake me up. I would often consume coffee in the late afternoon. I didn’t have regular sleeping routines and would sleep in until 10 am on the weekends, then stay up late on Sunday nights and force myself out of bed early on Monday morning. Unfortunately, stories like mine aren’t uncommon, with many people experiencing sleeping disorders and difficulties.
At the age of eighteen, I was diagnosed with glandular fever and spent over a week in a complete blur of exhaustion. Interestingly, as I slept and slept and slept, I woke up to the importance of getting proper sleep and I knew I had to make some changes to take better care of myself.
After gradually implementing better sleeping routines, learning simple meditations to facilitate sleep without frustration and deciding to actually value quality sleep, I now enjoy getting my rest. I really look forward to crawling into bed at the end of the day, when it used to be an activity I dreaded.
Of course, I still have various challenges when it comes to getting good sleep. I remember when my partner and I brought home our eight-week-old puppy and spent several weeks getting up multiple times each night to settle him. Every morning, when my alarm went off at 6 am to wake me for work, I struggled getting out of bed.
Late nights tend to leave me feeling hungover (even without alcohol) and unbalanced. I often feel slightly nauseous and hungry and I struggle to focus, hence why I try to avoid late nights now. I’m also not a happy napper (unlike my partner, who loves a good afternoon nap!) because I tend to wake up from them feeling unwell and groggy.
However, I’ve learned to love and appreciate my sleep and I genuinely believe it is one of the most important things I can do for my productivity, wellbeing, creativity, happiness and stress management.
Why is it important to value good sleep?
Studies have shown that insomnia occurs in approximately 13–33 per cent of the Australian population.1 Sleeping pills are currently the most common form of treatment, and, while they may help individuals sleep better in the short-term, they can also reduce in effectiveness over time and have the potential to cause a number of unpleasant side effects. While medication may be necessary for some people, others might find they can improve their sleep through various natural methods. It can also be incredibly helpful to understand why sleep is important, because we can learn to value and prioritise it more.
Sleep is vital for a variety of functions, including mood regulation, memory processing, waste removal from the brain, and learning consolidation. It may seem that when we fall asleep, we ‘switch off’; however, our brains are actually completing a number of complicated and essential processes to help us maintain our physical and mental health and perform at our best during waking hours.
Proper sleep can enable us to think more creatively, improve work performance, drive better, manage body weight, decrease stress, make better decisions and improve concentration.
Creating a solid sleep routine
We humans are creatures of habit and, therefore, I highly recommend implementing a regular sleep routine. Your routine should suit you and your needs, so please don’t feel that you need to strictly follow someone else’s formula.
I’m a morning person and I’ve found that I feel most nourished by going to bed early, implementing a self-care practice or two, then waking up between 6 am and 7 am.
However, I know many night owls who thrive during the dark hours and prefer to sleep in, or who catch up on sleep by taking a nap in the afternoons.
The aim is to find a routine that genuinely feels good for you and works with the necessities of your daily life (such as work, study or caring for children).
Falling asleep without frustration
One of the most challenging things for me when it came to sleeping well was the growing sense of frustration as the night dragged on and I still wasn’t sleeping. I knew I was tired and I knew I needed to get to sleep, yet I couldn’t stop my mind from going haywire as soon as the lights went out.
Some nights, I lay awake imagining all the things that could go wrong the following day (or week, or month, or year). I was literally playing out the worst-case scenarios in my mind over and over again. Other nights, I worked myself into a state by continuously checking the clock and counting down how much sleep I was likely to get. I didn’t even know that I was slowly teaching my mind to behave this way – it began to recognise the time before falling asleep as an opportunity to think, plan, stress and imagine potential outcomes.
It took a little time and effort to retrain myself to relax and unwind and allow my mind to settle down before sleep, but the journey has been well worth it. Here are some of my favourite tips for gently guiding myself towards falling asleep (without frustration!).
1: Use breathing techniques
A few years ago, I hosted my first live, in-person workshop and to say I was nervous would have been a huge understatement! As an introvert with a history of highly stressful speaking presentations, I was worried I’d forget my words completely, everyone would have a terrible time and I’d regret ever agreeing to do such a thing.
I anticipated that the night before would be difficult and that I would have a hard time falling asleep (generally the last thing you want the night before an important event that requires you to be switched on and quick-thinking!).
I actually wrote down a list of all the meditations and techniques I could try in the event that my mind ran rampant and I wouldn’t be able to sleep.
While I’m glad I was prepared, I didn’t even end up using the list; I fell asleep before I finished doing my first body scan! When I woke up once during the night, I practised a simple breathing visualisation and went back to sleep almost straightaway.
This was the first time I properly realised the power of using mindfulness and meditation to facilitate better sleep and I’ve been experimenting with even more useful practices ever since!
These are the breathing techniques I use whenever I don’t fall asleep within the first few minutes of turning out the light.
Breathing stairs
Imagine your breath is climbing a set of stairs. As you inhale, visualise your breath travelling up the vertical part of the stair, and as you exhale, visualise your breath travelling along the horizontal part of the stair. You can also explore what it feels like to imagine your breath is going down a set of stairs, instead of up.
You may like to experiment with the idea of climbing towards something, such as calm, relaxation, or peaceful sleep. This can be particularly useful if you’re not quite feeling ready for sleep, or if you’re in a state that isn’t particularly conducive for good sleep (such as when you’re stressed and overwhelmed).
Breathing into the body
To begin, bring your attention to your feet and inhale. As you exhale, imagine all the tension releasing from your feet, allowing them to sink into a state of relaxation.
Complete this same process throughout your whole body, moving from your feet, to your lower legs, upper legs, pelvic region and buttocks, stomach, lower back, chest, upper back, shoulders, upper arms, lower arms and wrists, hands, neck, head and face. You can move through the body quite quickly and make your way back down again, or take more time to explore each area of the body. For example, rather than sending your breath into your feet, you could begin with the toes of one foot, then the top of the foot, arch, heel and ankle.
Circular breathing
Imagine your breath is travelling around a circular shape, perhaps moving down one side of the shape as you exhale and moving up the other side of the shape as you inhale. Focus on smoothing out your breathing and reducing the pauses in between the inhalations and exhalations.
2: Do a body scan
Similar to the ‘breathing into the body’ practice described above, body scanning begins by bringing your attention to your toes and gradually moving your awareness through your whole body, with the aim of simply noticing different sensations, such as material on your skin, areas of tension or heaviness, or various temperatures in your body. (For more detailed body scan instructions, feel free to return to Chapter 8.)
I often like to do a body scan practice by imagining a soft piece of material making gentle, circular movements over the entirety of my body, similar to a massage. As someone who enjoys physical touch, I find the added layer of visualisation really resonates with me and helps me sink deeper into relaxation.
Another visualisation you can try is to imagine different colours throughout your body, perhaps yellow in warm areas of your body, blue in cool areas and white in neutral areas. Alternatively, with each breath, you could visualise a soft blue colour moving through your body – blue can be a representation of calm and relaxation.
3: Write in a journal
Many people find it cathartic to write down any worries or stresses in a journal before turning out the light to help them shift insistent thoughts from their minds to paper. This can also be helpful if you often find yourself remembering important things you don’t want to forget come morning! Flick back to Chapter 3 for a refresher on journaling.
4: Listen to meditation music
Music is a wonderful tool to promote specific feelings and thoughts. Have you ever noticed yourself listening to a happy, bouncy and catchy song, only to find yourself feeling more cheerful? or listened to a powerfully down-hearted song and found yourself remembering sad memories?
Music can also be used to encourage feelings of calm and relaxation, making it particularly useful when you’re trying to wind down for sleep. You might like to create a playlist of soothing songs to listen to at night, or do some research to find meditation music that resonates with you.
5: Practise nonjudgement
While it’s clear that sleeping well can have numerous positive impacts on our lives, I’ve found that taking a mindful approach towards sleep can be hugely valuable, not only because it helps to create optimal sleeping routines. When you are struggling to sleep, the practice of nonjudgement and acceptance can be extremely beneficial.
Imagine this:
You go to bed at a reasonable time, do all you can to maximise your sleep quality, then lie awake feeling more and more discouraged and frustrated the longer the night drags on. Swirling around in your mind are thoughts about how you’ll never get to sleep, why you shouldn’t have bothered going to bed early, how you might as well get out of bed and why this always has to happen.
Now, imagine the same situation, but without the judgemental thoughts. Instead, you notice whenever your mind is wandering and you bring it back to the moment, focusing on your breath or a body scan. Even though it may not be easy to practise and you might experience periods of frustration, you allow those feelings to pass, reminding yourself that even though you’re not sleeping, you’re still resting and relaxing.
I tend to find that the second scenario may not necessarily improve my sleep, but it does help me maintain a positive mindset towards getting better sleep in the future. Rather than getting out of bed the next day thinking ‘That was a terrible sleep and I’m not looking forward to going back to bed tonight,’ I can instead acknowledge that it was a difficult night without creating an expectation for the coming evening.
Extra tips for a good night’s sleep
Apart from difficulties with falling asleep, I also found myself waking up regularly throughout the night and struggling to drift off again.
Over the last few years, a couple of habits and tools have helped me minimise restlessness, including:
• always putting my phone on silent before I go to bed
• making sure my bedroom is dark
• listening to white noise via an app to drown out other noises
• avoiding coffee after lunchtime
• investing in a comfortable mattress and pillows
• ensuring my bed is made, because people actually tend to sleep better when they climb into a made bed, rather than a messy bed!
It’s been suggested to me that trying to stay awake at night can sometimes help us fall asleep quicker than if we actually try to fall asleep! Simply lying in bed with your eyes open (but not watching or reading anything) and focusing on trying to stay awake may be a helpful strategy if nothing else seems to be working for you.
Creating a bedtime routine
I’ve also created a regular bedtime routine, which helps me unwind and signals to my body and mind that it’s almost time for sleep.
At the moment, my routine involves getting ready for bed at 8.40 pm. It takes me about twenty minutes to brush my teeth, choose my clothes for the next day, remove my makeup (if I’m wearing any), gently massage moisturiser into my skin and jump into bed.
I spend about an hour doing a few relaxation practices (such as the ones I described above) and maybe watch an episode from a television series on my laptop. I know there’s lots of advice which says to avoid screens at night, but it’s an activity I enjoy and, even though it might not be a perfect bedtime routine, it feels good to me. I usually notice myself feeling tired around 10 pm, at which time I turn out the light, switch on my white noise app and usually fall asleep in a couple of minutes.
There are many different activities you can do as part of your bedtime routine and I encourage you to experiment until you find out which ones resonate most with you. Perhaps you could keep a journal about your activities and experiences until you figure it out! Activities can include any of the relaxation practices I’ve already described, or you could try taking a warm bath (not too hot because it takes the body a long time to cool down, therefore prolonging wakefulness), talking with your partner or a family member, doing a social-media detox, drawing or mindful colouring, or reading a book (I prefer magazines or quote-books because they help me calm down more than exciting or scary novels!).
One of my mindfulness clients told me how establishing a sleep routine had helped change her sleep patterns. Claudia started reducing screen time in the evenings in order to have more time for mindful activities. She said, ‘Each Sunday evening, I write a list of mindful activities to try during the week, such as taking a mindful bath.’ Her efforts soon had a positive impact on her sleep quality, allowing her to fall asleep faster and wake up feeling more rested. Claudia now also enjoys using a few journaling prompts and writing for a while before going to bed. Focusing on herself and being in the moment helps her feel more calm and grounded before sleep.
Finally, try to have some fun with the journey of creating a meaningful bedtime routine. While I do think sleep is hugely important, I also believe we can enjoy learning more about ourselves – there’s something refreshing about approaching personal growth with an open and curious mind to see what might unfold.
However, if you find that you’ve done the best you can and sleeplessness is still regularly interfering with your life, you might like to seek further support. A number of therapies have been found to be beneficial for many people with sleep disorders, including cognitive behavioural therapy, relaxation training and sleep restriction. Describe your experiences to your GP and request a referral to a sleep specialist, or you may be able to visit a sleep clinic directly.
Action tips for a better sleep
Choose one relaxing activity to try in bed tonight. Perhaps read a magazine, listen to music, do some mindful colouring or gently stretch your body. Aim to spend twenty to thirty minutes completing your chosen activity and notice if it helps you relax before sleep.
Use a breathing practice or do a body scan before you fall asleep. To choose which one you will use, simply practise each one as I’ve described it (the breathing stairs, breathing into the body, circular breathing and body scanning) and notice which one evokes the greatest sense of ease and relaxation.
Create your own list of ‘Tips for a good night’s sleep’ and turn it into an actual checklist. You can then use this checklist each night until the activities become an ingrained part of your nightly routine.