Creating meaningful connections through social media
When it comes to social media, I have a lot to be thankful for. I’ve made new friends, reconnected with family members I hadn’t seen in years, joined inspiring communities and used the wisdom of the people I admire to try different things in my own life. There are so many wonderful things which have come to fruition simply because I’ve tried to become more intentional, mindful and genuine in my relationships via social media. It can get a bad rap, but if it is used cleverly, social media can be a great facilitator of meaningful connections. In this chapter, I’ll share some of the ways you can connect with others and also some ideas for using social media to your advantage.
Strengthening relationships
Reconnecting with family
One day on Facebook I found my great-uncle; more than ten years had passed since the last time I’d seen him. It turned out we’d actually been living in the same city for a few years without even knowing! Because of Facebook, we had the opportunity to organise a catch-up in person and we’ve since spent hours chatting, eating good food together (he is an incredible baker) and going for walks.
When we use it to connect with other people, social media can have such a powerful and positive influence. It provides a safe and easy space to get in touch and possibly even organise in-person meet-ups. At the same time, even if you live on the other side of the world to your friends and family, social media can still help you stay connected with one another.
Action tip: Browse through the ‘Friends’ section of your Facebook account and find someone in your family you haven’t spoken with in a while. Send them a thoughtful message to ask how they’re going and, if it feels natural, allow a conversation to flow from there.
Staying in touch with friends
When I moved to the city, I lost contact with many of my friends from home. City life was hectic, I felt particularly introverted, I was getting used to living in my own place – and when I did go back home, I spent time with my family. Over the years, I’ve stayed in touch with my friends via social media, which has allowed us to share our journeys with each other and catch up when we get the chance.
Tips for using social media
Be an ‘active’ rather than a ‘passive’ friend on social media. When one of your friends posts something, don’t just like it and scroll on. Instead, take a little bit of time to leave a thoughtful comment and let your friend know you care.
Be mindful of who you are following. It’s easy to follow many friends, brands, strangers, celebrities and businesses on social media, but the more you follow, the less you are likely to see posts that are actually meaningful to you. While social media algorithms are becoming more sophisticated and try to guess which posts you would prefer to see, they won’t always get it right and the posts you actually want to engage with will be lost. To stop this from happening too often, start unfollowing anyone you don’t actually want or need to be following. When I went through the list of Instagram accounts I was keeping up with, I found many I didn’t really want to continue following – cafés I’d been to once, clothing brands I didn’t wear any more, people I didn’t know at all and celebrities I didn’t feel the particular need to see on my feed. When I stopped following them, it freed up more space in my feed for people I really cared about and gave me more opportunities to connect with them.
Asking for support
Not only does social media provide the opportunity to interact with people regularly, it also creates the potential to ask for support when it’s needed. I’ve seen countless examples of people going through difficult times – suffering the loss of a loved one, experiencing illness (both mental and physical), going through a break-up, or facing challenges as a new parent – who have reached out to their circle and then received meaningful support.
In many cases, I think some people actually find it easier to ask for help online than in person. Perhaps it feels less confronting to type a request for support than to speak the words out loud. Or maybe there’s more chance of receiving validation and understanding when there are more people listening to what you need to say.
However, it can be important to remember that being vulnerable online also opens you up to people who might not be particularly kind, supportive or understanding. Whenever I post something, I first ask myself if it’s something I truly feel ready to share. If not, I’ll often find someone to talk with in person before I share anything online.
Action tip: Next time you would like to hear some advice or ask for support, share a post on social media and see what your friends might have to say. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something incredibly important – it could be something simple like recommendations about where to go on holiday or tips for dealing with stress.
Meeting new people
Discovering like-minded people
It’s not always easy to find new people you naturally click with. When I finished studying at university but continued working at the same place I’d been at for the previous few years, I noticed my social life stagnated a bit (actually, quite a lot!). However, I also enrolled in an online course that allowed me to become part of an exclusive Facebook group. Within this group, I met many people I had heaps in common with: we were creating blogs, we were interested in wellness and mental health, and we were also growing our small businesses for the purposes of helping others and working in a way we enjoyed.
Many of these people I’ve become close friends with and we’ve shared some really wonderful times over the years. In fact, I have even collaborated with quite a few of them in different ways, via interviews and workshops.
Action tip: Do some research to find hashtags that are particularly relevant for you. I often search for posts that use hashtags related to blogging, flat-lay photography, meditation and Cavalier King Charles spaniels. Before I travel to new destinations, I like to browse through relevant hashtags to discover the best places to visit, such as great cafés and pretty landscapes, and to search for local tips. For example, when I was planning a trip to Tasmania, I browsed through the hashtags #hobartandbeyond and #discovertasmania (to name a few!).
So what are your interests in life? What inspires you? What would you like to learn? Once you have a few ideas, just type the hashtags into the search section of whichever social media platform you might be using and enjoy!
Not long after we welcomed our second Cavalier King Charles puppy into our family, I started a new Instagram account for her and her older brother. The original intention for their account was to keep our close family updated with their growth, but Moose and Minnie quickly gained followers from around the world. One day, I received a message from another dog owner in Melbourne, who invited us to a monthly walk just for Cavalier King Charles spaniels and their owners! It still amazes me how many opportunities I’ve found (or received) as a result of being on social media.
After my mum joined Instagram, she had a similar experience as a result of sharing photos of her beautiful garden. She began connecting with other gardeners and even visited some in person! not only did she meet like-minded people, but she started discovering more ideas and inspiration that she could incorporate into her own garden. Instagram became a source of connection and inspiration for her and I was excited to see it all unfold.
Having a sense of community
Even though I was only just learning how to create flat-lay photos, I felt both welcomed and inspired by a creative online community called Creatively Squared. By using their specific hashtags, my photos were shared with the creators and members of their community, many of whom encouraged me, offered helpful advice and answered my questions about how to improve my photos. Having that sense of community helped me persevere and created a supportive space for me to learn and feel included.
Action tip: There are many, many Facebook groups that can offer a brilliant sense of community and inclusiveness. I’m a member of a Facebook group book club, a few groups about business and a few groups about wellness. They’re a great place to find support, connect with like-minded people, share things you’ve learned and feel that sense of community. Take the time to find some Facebook groups you could join and put in the effort to connect with other people in there.
Connecting with people who can inspire you
Learning from others
Did you know that many podcasters have their own Facebook groups for their listeners to join? And there are online courses that offer Facebook groups so you can continue learning with other people who also enrolled in the course?
With the growing popularity of live video, more and more people are sharing helpful knowledge and experiences with their followers – often for free!
Social media can offer fantastic opportunities that allow you to learn from other people and gain new knowledge and skills.
Action Tip: Think about the people you would most like to learn from and then search on social media to find if they have any accounts. Follow them for a while to discover if they’ll offer helpful posts, live videos, or groups.
Finding new opportunities
In 2017, I became a writer for a wonderful online platform simply because I saw a Facebook post about an open position on their team. A few years before, when I’d first discovered that platform, I actually wrote on my vision board that I wanted to submit an article for them to publish. I submitted an article and felt absolutely over the moon when they agreed to share it.
I never imagined that I would become a regular writer on their team (getting paid to do something I really loved), but thanks to social media, that was exactly what happened. New opportunities pop up on social media in various ways – some people are literally making a living from posting on their social media accounts by working with brands they resonate with.
However, opportunities on social media don’t always have to revolve around making money. It can also be used a powerful force for sharing messages and pushing for positive change. Many people with large followings are using their influence to support causes they believe in. I’ve signed petitions, donated to charities and used my own voice to share messages so I can play my own part in creating positive change, no matter how small.
Seeing new things and discovering different possibilities
It may be true that people tend to post their ‘highlight reels’ on social media. Basically, we see the best moments of everyone else’s lives and this can lead us to believe that they all wear beautiful clothes, do fun activities, go to incredible places and enjoy delicious food regularly. We compare our ‘behind the scenes’ with other people’s ‘highlight reels’ and end up feeling not good enough.
Not to mention the fact that people who gain large followings are often able to invest in hiring professional photographers, getting their hair and makeup done and having their photos edited to perfection. However, those flawless photos don’t always tell the whole story!
I remember one particular time when I saw a photo on Pinterest of someone reading on their bed with their legs up the wall and I thought it looked so cool that I tried to replicate it. I even painted my toenails red (I think it might have been the only time I’d painted my toenails in a few years!). I also put on a pair of nice jeans, which I would never have normally relaxed in because they were quite tight. I climbed on the bed and lay down with my legs up the wall (which took a bit of manoeuvring, thanks to my jeans) and Moose jumped up on the bed with me and started rolling and jumping around. My partner probably took about fifty photos. Maybe more. As soon as we were finished taking photos, I climbed off the bed and put my tracksuit pants back on.
Just by the way, it’s super uncomfortable to lie with your legs up the wall while reading a book! The book was heavy, my legs got pins and needles and I couldn’t even read because the light was shining in my eyes. Anyway, I chose the best photo – one where Moose actually settled down for a few seconds next to me – and posted it. It received some lovely comments and I felt glad to have created a photo I was proud of.
But that’s the thing; I created the photo. It wasn’t a quick snapshot of a natural moment in my life.
It can be really important to remember that what gets posted online is not usually the whole story. It’s common for people to select the images which look the best or tell the best story. Even natural-looking photos don’t always reflect what’s really going on for someone. I can take a pretty photo of flowers and create an inspirational post when I’m feeling stressed or sad. I can share a cute photo of my dogs cuddling together when they actually only stayed there for a few seconds before getting annoyed with each other. I’ve created flat-lay photos with tea that didn’t get drunk because it cooled down while I was taking photos of it.
However, social media does allow you to discover new possibilities and exposes you to things you may not have ever known without it. I’ve been inspired to try interesting recipes and do my hair in different ways. I’ve seen stunning landscapes which are now on my list of places to visit. I’ve discovered new music, new styles of photography, new quotes, new books, new movies. Social media is like an ever-evolving advertisement for things to try and learn, but the difference is we get to largely control what we see (and don’t see).
For example, when I first started my Instagram account, I followed many yoga and food pages because those were topics I was interested in and wanted to incorporate more into my own life. As my interests changed, so did the accounts that I followed. These days, I tend to follow accounts that feature flat-lay and landscape photography, beautiful travel accounts and small business accounts that inspire me to try new things in my own business.
Final thoughts on connections and social media
Among the billions of people using social media, not everyone has the best intentions. While social media can be a fantastic way to connect with people and share things that are important to you, it’s also imperative that you keep yourself safe. Unless you 100 per cent know and trust every person who follows you, don’t share your home address, identifying information, or anything else you wouldn’t want a stranger to know.
Unfortunately, bullying, trolling and nasty comments have been on the rise. Protect your own wellbeing by blocking anything that doesn’t serve you, and talk to someone who can help if you don’t know what to do.
Guidelines for social media
• Be kind and supportive: treat other people the way you want to be treated.
• Set boundaries: don’t go on social media when you’re having a bad day.
• Allow others to have a voice: you won’t agree with everyone online, and that’s okay.
• Block hate: don’t bother arguing with trolls – just block and move on.
• Seek help: in the event that you’re being bullied online (or feeling upset about something you’ve read or seen), talk to someone who can support you and provide guidance on what to do next.