NAN STOOD AT THE GATE to the old cemetery, running her hand over the ornate ironwork. She was always amazed at how, everywhere she looked, there was something beautiful to see. Even the lichen-covered Celtic crosses, their detail worn away by time, were like little monuments to the past.
She’d passed the cemetery several times on her way in and out of town and had always wanted to take a closer look. It was only now that she realized the importance of the place. Her father, Tiernan Findley, had been buried here. This was probably her last chance to visit him before she left.
The past few days had been an emotional roller coaster, full of tears and confusion, questions and doubts. But she’d survived it all, only a little bruised. And it had kept her mind off the real sadness—saying goodbye to Riley and Ireland.
They’d driven back to Kealkill and spent the morning with her grandfather, sharing a traditional Irish breakfast in Carey’s garden. They’d talked about her mother and she’d answered all the questions he hadn’t asked the day before. And when it was time to leave, Nan had felt her emotions well up inside of her, so quickly that she could barely say goodbye.
Standing in the cemetery now, she swallowed the lump in her throat. She’d see him again. In truth, her grandfather gave her the perfect excuse to come back to Ireland. Glancing both ways, Nan stepped through the graveyard gate.
A chilly breeze swirled around her, causing a shiver to run through her body and she pulled her sweater more tightly around her. From a tree on the other side of the wall, a flock of jackdaws cawed. An eerie feeling came over her and Nan nearly turned back, then decided she was being silly. She’d weathered all the other emotional storms that had come her way. What was she afraid of now?
As she began to wander among the stones, she read the names and the dates of death. Some of them were recent, one stone marking a grave that was still covered with dirt. “Aina M. Garrity,” she read from the stone. “Eighty-seven years old. A long life.” She’d died just a month before.
Nan moved to the older section of the cemetery. There were stones from the time of the famine, single stones marking large plots for multiple family members. The children’s stones broke her heart. They’d died from scarlet fever or typhus or any of the simple illnesses that were so easily cured today.
The Quinn family plot stood near the edge of the cemetery. “Rory Quinn,” she read. “Beloved wife, Brenna Rooney Quinn.” How were these people related to Riley? “Jack Quinn. Siobhan Quinn.” Siobhan had lived for eleven years without her husband beside her. Had she been lonely?
She found Tiernan’s grave nearby, the newer stone gleaming in the sun. Squatting down, she brushed away the grass to read the inscription. “Tiernan Findlay, born June 13, 1960. Died November 3, 1984.” The next words were in Gaelic. Go gcasaimid ar a chéile arís.
The sound of a dog barking caught her attention and Nan stood up to see Riley’s brother, Danny, striding briskly down the road. Two black-and-white dogs raced ahead of him. He whistled for them and they came running back then sat at the gate and peered inside at her.
When Danny noticed her, he slowed his pace. “Keep an eye out,” he teased. “Aina Garrity has been haunting this place for the last month.”
Nan frowned. “The lady that died?”
He grinned and stopped at the gate. “She’s hanging about, waiting for the next funeral.”
“But she’s dead.”
“Her ghost can’t leave until someone else is buried.”
Nan slowly walked toward the gate, that same eerie feeling coming over her. Now she was spooked. Had Aina Garrity been watching her? Had the dead woman’s ghost been up in the trees with the crows?
“It’s a beautiful cemetery,” Nan said. “I was just admiring the stones.”
He grinned, reaching down to pat one of his dogs. “They are beautiful,” he said. “We Irish do death so well.”
“Can you read Gaelic? There’s an inscription on a stone. I’d like to know what it means.”
He stepped through the gate and followed her to Tiernan’s grave, the dogs scampering around his feet. Danny stood in front of the gravestone and stared at it, then glanced over at Nan. “Riley told us about your news.”
She nodded. “Do you know what it means?”
“Until we meet again.”
She drew a deep breath, then smiled. “That’s nice. I like that.”
“Are you through here? I was just walking into town. I have to open the pub for lunch.”
Nan nodded. “I told Riley I’d meet him there.” She took one last look at the gravestone, committing it to memory, then turned for the gate.
Danny held it open for her and she smiled and pointed to the beautiful work. “Did you do this? Riley said you’re a blacksmith.”
“I did,” Danny said. “It was one of the first projects I did. My ma said it would help my way into heaven.”
He closed the gate behind her and they strolled down the road side by side, the dogs bounding ahead of them both. “What did you mean about Aina Garrity?”
“I was just teasing. Silly Irish superstition,” he said.
“Tell me,” Nan said.
“Oh, where should I start? When someone dies, their ghost is required to stay at the churchyard and tend to the dead until the next corpse comes along. They’re supposed to carry water to Purgatory for the folks down there. When two people are buried on the same day, the families race to the cemetery to bury their loved one first so they get the express train to heaven.”
She giggled. “So Aina is stuck until another ghost shows up.”
Danny nodded. “That’s not the worst of it. Some of the older folks believe that a dead hand is a cure to all sickness.”
“Ew,” Nan said. “You have to eat a dead hand?”
“No,” Danny cried, shaking his head. “We’re not that macabre. If you’re ill, you just have to be touched by a dead hand. So all the sick relatives come to the wake so they can be touched by the dearly departed’s hand.”
Nan shuddered. “I felt like I was being watched in the churchyard.”
“If a ghost or an evil spirit chases you, they can’t follow you across water. So find a stream and jump over it.”
“Good to know,” Nan said with a laugh.
“Don’t worry. Aina can’t leave the cemetery, so you’re safe.”
“I saw some Quinns there.”
“My grandparents are buried there. Rory and Brenna Quinn. And Rory’s parents, Jack and Siobhan. Jack was shot during the Irish rebellion and Siobhan also worked for the cause. That was his fishing boat that you and Riley took to Bantry. And Rory was a pilot for the RAF during the second world war. The Quinns have always lived large.”
“Riley said you were an artist. Can I see your work?”
He grinned. “Sure. I have some things in my workshop. We can stop on our way to the pub if you’d like.”
“I would,” Nan said.
They strolled along in the warm noonday sun, watching the dogs run ahead of them. Danny was as charming as Riley, amusing her with a complete education of Irish superstition. By the time they reached his workshop, she could only wonder how the Quinn boys had remained single for as long as they had.
She followed Danny around the back of cottage to what looked like a small barn. He pulled a large door open and Nan stepped into the dimly lit interior. Ornate ironwork hung from the old timber beams and along one wall, large swaths of canvas hid his sculptures. Danny pulled them off one by one, revealing wildly imaginative work. Nan stared in awe at his sculptures.
“This is incredible,” she murmured, walking from piece to piece.
“This is what I do in my spare time,” he said.
She moved to a small wooden case, filled with tiny carvings of animals and insects. “What are these?”
“I did those when I was a kid. That’s how I got my start, in bath soap and driftwood.” He reached up to a shelf that hung from the stone wall. “Here. I have something for you.”
He handed her an ornate Celtic cross made from cast iron. The detailing on it was incredible and she gazed at it in awe. “That came from my religious phase,” he said with a wry smile. “I did a whole series of them. This is the only one left.”
“I—I can’t take this,” she said.
“Sure you can,” Danny said. “It will ward off evil spirits and it works as a deterrent to pickpockets and highwaymen.”
“Have you ever shown your work at a gallery?” she asked.
“I have a show every few years in Dublin at a gallery there. But I don’t have much time for my art. I spend most of my days making practical things like gates and andirons. They pay the bills.”
Nan stood in front of a sculpture of a giant soaring bird, its wings reaching out like arms to the sky. “I don’t know a lot about art, but I know this is good. It makes me feel something.”
“There’s one just like it in Dublin. It was a commission from the mayor’s arts council.”
He spent the next half hour showing her all of his pieces, explaining each one and answering all her questions. Nan was surprised at how easy it was to talk to Riley’s brother. He was just like…family.
He seemed genuinely interested in her opinions and appreciated her comments about her favorite pieces. From the start, with Riley, it had been all about the attraction between them, so powerful and intense. But Danny seemed like a good friend, only interested in chatting with her.
When they’d finished the impromptu show, Nan watched as he covered all his sculptures, wondering what it would be like to become a part of this family. She was all alone in the world now, except for her Irish grandfather.
She could only guess at why her mother’s parents never been a part of her life. Maybe they’d never wanted her mother to have an illegitimate child. Or maybe they disapproved of her marrying an older man. Certainly, an unexpected pregnancy would come as a shock to any parent, especially when the father of the baby wanted nothing to do with the mother. But Laura Daley had decided to do what she needed to do to make a life for her daughter.
Maybe she had still loved Tiernan. Maybe she died with his image in her mind. It was a romantic notion that they were finally together. Was that what the inscription had meant? Until they meet again.
Or perhaps his betrayal had ended any feelings she’d ever had. But one thing was certain. She had wanted the baby growing inside her and she’d probably defied her parents in making that choice.
“So, Riley tells me you’ll be leaving us soon,” Danny said as they continued their walk into Ballykirk.
“I go home tomorrow,” Nan said. “I don’t want to leave. I haven’t seen half of what I came here to see. I had all these carefully laid plans and they all fell apart.”
“Plans have a way of doing that now, don’t they,” he said with a wry smile. “Maybe your plans to go home should suffer the same consequences.”
“I have a job I have to get back to,” she said.
“Is it something you love?” he asked.
She opened her mouth to reply, but then realized that her automatic affirmation wasn’t really what she felt. Was she as passionate about her work as Danny was? He mentioned that he had to sculpt, that he had no other choice in the matter. But Nan couldn’t work up such strong feelings for her own career.
Yes, liked what she did, but it wasn’t important work. Not like Riley’s music and Danny’s art. If Nan didn’t do her work, they’d find someone else who would. She was easily replaced.
“Yes,” she lied. “I really do love it.”
“Well, then, it won’t be so difficult to leave Ireland, I’d expect.”
When they reached the pub, Danny opened the front door and they walked inside the quiet interior. Riley was standing behind the bar, scribbling something on a pad of paper. He looked up as they came in, glancing between them both at first, his expression unreadable.
“I met Nan on the road into town,” Danny explained.
“He took me to see his studio,” Nan added, wondering at the chilly look Riley gave Danny. “I guess we lost track of time.”
Riley pointed at the clock. “Yeah, well, you’re late, little brother.”
“Jaysus, Riley, what’s fifteen minutes?”
“Twenty,” Riley said. “And considering I only have today left with Nan, it’s more than I’m willing to give up to you.” He tossed his apron at Danny, then circled the bar and grabbed Nan’s hand. He drew her toward the door. “Come on, let’s get the hell out of here.”
“Thanks for the tour, Danny,” she called, waving at him as she hurried out the door. “If I don’t see you again, it was nice meeting you.”
When they got outside, Nan pulled her hand from his and stopped, refusing to take another step. “That was rude.”
“He’s my brother. I’m allowed.”
“Why are you such a grump? We just walked into town together. He was nice to me and showed me his work.”
“That usually does the trick with the girls here in town,” Riley said.
She gasped, stunned that he’d think there was something going on between her and his brother. “Wow, you did get up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.”
He cursed softly, then ran his fingers through his hair. “Right. Well, how the hell am I supposed to feel? It’s like time is slipping through my fingers and I can’t do anything to stop it, Nan. You’re going home tomorrow and we may never see each other again and you don’t seem to give a shite.”
Nan stared at him. What was this all about? He’d never spoken to her like that and she could see anger in his eyes. She sighed, then turned and walked up the street toward the cottage.
“Oh, that’s fine now,” Riley shouted. “Just walk away. We can’t even have a disagreement?”
Nan turned to face him, walking backward. “You’re making an arse of yourself,” she shouted. “And I don’t think I like you anymore.”
RILEY CURSED AGAIN, this time out loud. She was absolutely right. He was acting like a horse’s arse, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. Just the thought of her getting on a plane and going back to the States was enough to make him crazy with frustration.
No doubt, she’d go back to the cottage and pout for a bit, then he’d come crawling back with an apology for being a stupid prick. And they’d tumble into bed and everything would be set right again. But he didn’t want to waste even that much time staying angry.
He ran after her and caught up in a matter of seconds. “All right. I’m sorry. I can’t help that I want to spend every waking minute with you as well as all the minutes that we’re asleep. And I know you were just being nice to Danny and I shouldn’t fault you for that.”
“He happens to be a very nice guy. Unlike you.”
“I am a nice guy under ordinary circumstances,” he said. “But this isn’t really something I’m accustomed to, so you’ll have to give me a break.”
“Was there an apology in there?” Nan asked. “Because I didn’t hear it.”
“I’m sorry,” he said, taking her hand and drawing it to his lips. “Very sorry. Will you forgive me?”
She sent him a sideways glance, then rolled her eyes. “There was nothing to be jealous of,” she said. “You were so nasty to your brother. You should treat him better. And appreciate that you even have a brother. I don’t have any siblings, but if I did, I would love them every day.”
“You’re right,” Riley said. “And I promise to apologize to Danny when I see him the next time. Now, would you like me to beg for your forgiveness or can I just kiss you now and forget any of this happened.”
“You can kiss me later,” she said. “I want to make myself some lunch and then start packing.”
They walked together out of town, both of them silent, Riley waiting for her to smile at him. “So, what did you and Danny talk about?”
Nan shrugged. “Mostly his work,” she said. “He was walking his dogs and passed by the cemetery. I was there, looking at the gravestones. I found my father’s. Danny translated the inscription for me. It said, ‘until we meet again.’” She met his gaze. “Isn’t that a nice sentiment. It sounds so hopeful.”
“It’s sad,” he said. “And it doesn’t always happen. Meeting again. Sometimes people part and that’s the end of it. Look at your mother and Tiernan.”
“I’d like to think they have met again. And maybe, their spirits are now able to continue on with what they began all those years ago.”
“Or maybe we’re the ones who are doing that for them. Did you ever think of that? Maybe it’s us who shouldn’t be saying those words.”
“I’m hungry,” she said, deftly changing the subject.
He’d been pushing her at every opportunity, trying to force her to see how difficult it would be to leave. But Nan was stubbornly sticking to her plans, unable to commit to a life in Ireland with him.
Riley pointed to the small bakery just down the street. “They make the best sausage rolls. I’ll buy you lunch.”
They walked inside the bakery and, in addition to the sausage rolls, Riley purchased a small apple tart to share and two Cokes. They walked back outside and sat down at one of the tables in front of the bakery.
“You look very pretty this morning,” he said, handing her the Coke.
“Oh, and flattery won’t get you anywhere,” she said.
“What will get me somewhere?” he inquired.
She took a bite of the sausage roll and considered his question. “Are you passionate about your job?”
“I don’t really have a job,” he said.
“No, I mean your music. You’re a singer. That’s how you make money, right?”
“Not a lot of money, but, yes, I suppose that’s right.”
“Could you ever imagine yourself doing something else. Other than singing?”
“Sure. I expect I won’t be flogging my guts out in the pubs until I’m eighty. I’ll have to quit sooner or later.”
“No, I don’t think you understand what I’m saying.” Nan frowned as she searched for a way to ask her question. He gave her hand a squeeze, wondering what had so consumed her thoughts. “Are you passionate about your singing? Would you be less of a person if you didn’t do it?”
He thought about it for a long moment. In truth, he’d been thinking about that very question ever since Nan arrived. Could he walk away from performing and not miss it at all? Could he be happy working at something else merely to provide a decent living for a wife and family? Or were Riley the singer and Riley the man inseparable?
“I think I’m always going to have to perform,” he said, the truth of his feelings bubbling to the surface. “I like how it makes me feel. It might not always bring financial rewards, but who knows. With the new CD, something might change. What about you?”
“I’m good at what I do, and I like that. People think I do a good job and I’m a valuable employee. But I’m beginning to think that maybe I’ve just been so comfortable at the library I never considered doing anything else.”
Riley was stunned by her confession. It was the first indication she’d given that she might be open to a change in her life. If she wasn’t that invested in her career, then maybe she’d consider leaving it behind.
Riley fought the urge to push the issue. He wasn’t going to spend her last day in Ireland trying to convince her to stay. He was going to enjoy her company and make love to her one last time and then he was going to let her go.
He knew exactly how he felt, but Riley was still unsure about Nan’s feelings. Every instinct told him there was a deep affection between them, but did she consider it the beginning of love or the end of an infatuation? He wanted to ask her, but at the same time, he was afraid of her answer.
“So, what’s the plan for your last day in Ireland?”
“I don’t know,” Nan said. “There are so many things left on my list. But I think I’ve had enough of sightseeing. I think I want to find a pretty spot and just sit.”
“Would you mind if I sat with you?” Riley asked.
“I think that would be nice. Why don’t you take me to the prettiest spot around Ballykirk.”
“I know the exact spot,” Riley said. “But we have to stop at the cottage first and get a few things. A blanket. Something to eat and drink. And sturdy shoes for you.”
“Where are we going?” she asked.
Riley wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. “To one of my secret places. No one else knows about it.”
“Really?”
“No,” he said. “My brothers know about it, and probably a lot of other people. But I like to pretend that it is all mine.”
They hiked back up to the cottage and Riley gathered up the makings of a picnic, then threw a blanket over his shoulder. Nan put on a pair of trainers and then waited for him at the front door.
“I’m excited,” she said.
“Don’t get too excited. I may have oversold this place.” He picked up her straw hat from the table and set it on top of her head. “Put on some jeans and you might need a heavier cardie.”
She returned from the bedroom with her jacket and tied the arms around her waist. “Am I ready now?”
He grinned, the dropped a kiss on her lips. “Before we leave, I need to swear you to an oath of secrecy. You are venturing into a place that is known to only the Quinns—me, my brother Kellan and my brother Danny. And if they knew I was showing you this, they’d probably be forced to do something rash.”
She seemed amused by his teasing. Nan raised her hand. “I swear, I will reveal nothing of what I see today.”
“Good. Then we’re ready to go.”
THE HIKE DOWN the rocky cliff to the sea was frightening at times, but Riley moved slowly, pointing out the places that she needed to navigate through the boulders. Nan had wondered at the possibility of reaching the water when they first stood on the top edge, but now, just ten feet from the coastline, she glanced back up to see how far they’d come.
Riley jumped down onto the sand, then held his hand out to her. “We’re here,” he said.
He clasped her waist and set her on her feet. They were inside a small cove on the bay, somewhere beyond Ballykirk harbor. It was a perfectly private spot, invisible from the top of the cliff and from the surrounding area. The only way to be seen was from a boat in the bay.
Nan smiled. The water from the bay lapped against the narrow strip of sand. “It’s a beach,” she said. “Can we swim?”
“The water is a bit chilly this time of year, but yes, my brothers and I used to swim here all the time.” He laid the blanket out on the sand, then kicked off his shoes. “We used to call it Smuggler’s Cove. There’s a cave over there in the cliff side and we thought it was the perfect place for smugglers to hide.”
“It’s beautiful,” she said.
“We have to make sure we leave by three,” he said.
“Why?”
“Because the tide will come into the bay and this beach will be gone.” He patted the blanket beside him. “Come here. I have an overwhelming need to kiss you.”
Nan sat down next to him and he dragged her on top of him, his fingers furrowing through her hair. “Ten days isn’t long enough,” he murmured. “I’m just getting used to having you here and now you have to go away.”
Nan looked down into his eyes. She didn’t want to think about tomorrow. Pressing her finger over his lips, she shook her head. “We’re here now. And I’m not going anywhere, at least not until the tide comes in.”
She straddled his hips, then slipped out of her sweater. Her shirt followed, leaving her only in her bra. Riley’s gaze raked her body as he cupped her breast in his palm. Nan closed her eyes and tipped her face up to the sun. “This is exactly how I wanted to spend my last day here.”
She looked so beautiful, Riley mused. A memory flickered in his mind and searched for it. “Have you ever had a sexual fantasy?” Riley asked.
Nan glanced down at him, a tiny frown furrowing her brow. “Why do you ask?”
“Because I’m in the early stage of one right now,” he replied. Riley chuckled softly. “When I was a teenager, I’d come down here and I’d think about what I’d do if I found a selkie on the beach. I’d try to picture what she’d look like and you’re what I used to picture.”
“No,” she murmured.
“Yes,” he said. “I used to always like women with long hair, but my selkie always had short dark hair. Just like yours.”
“Maybe you knew I’d come someday. Maybe we’ve lived a past life together. You were a fisherman and I was a selkie.”
“Take off your clothes,” he said. “I want to remember more.”
Nan slowly stood beside him, a smile playing at her lips. She skimmed her jeans down over her hips and kicked off her shoes, then waited for a long moment in just her underwear.
“What did you do when you thought about your selkie?” she asked.
“What most teenage boys do when they think about naked women,” he said.
“Is this why you brought me here?”
Riley shook his head. “I didn’t remember until just now. I brought you here because it’s one of my favorite places.”
“I can see why,” she murmured, reaching for the hook on her bra. She tossed it aside, then shimmied out of her panties. “Better now?”
He groaned softly. “It’s not a fantasy anymore. It’s real.”
She rubbed her arms and shivered. “And was it warmer in your fantasy?” Her heart beat a little quicker at the look in his eyes, the barely controlled need sending a shiver through her. “What did you imagine?”
Riley sat up, bracing his hands behind him. “You were standing at the water’s edge. That’s where I found you, staring out at the sea.”
Nan turned and walked across the narrow strip of sand to the water. She dipped a toe in, then winced. It wasn’t warm enough to swim, so she waited. A moment later, she heard Riley behind her. He wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and his hand smoothed down her belly. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the touch, moaning as he found the spot between her legs.
Though it was his fantasy, Nan couldn’t help but get caught up in it. She tried to imagine what he was thinking, what he might have done to the wild creature he caught.
Nan slowly turned to face him. He stared down into her eyes, then kissed her, his tongue delving deep. Riley continued to explore her body with his hands as if he’d never touched her before. His touch was slow and sometimes hesitant, and then suddenly sure and determined.
When he’d had enough of kissing, he took her hand and pulled her down into the sand. She thought he might strip off his own clothes, but this fantasy must not have gone that far. Instead he gently pushed her back onto the blanket and began to trail kisses from her collarbone to her breasts.
Nan’s breath caught in her throat as his lips closed over her nipple. Riley sucked gently, teasing until her nipple grew hard. Then he moved to the other and did the same, her fingers tangling in his hair as his lips teased.
When he reached down between her legs, her breath caught in her throat. When he stopped, she opened her eyes and found him staring at her, a wry smile on his lips.
“What?” she whispered.
“This was always where it ended,” he said.
“You just stopped?”
He shook his head. “No, I finished. I never got any further than this before I finished.”
Nan giggled. “Well, you’ve gotten much better at things over the years, haven’t you?”
“I have. But I’m not sure I want to ruin the old fantasy.”
“Then let me help you,” Nan said. She reached down to unbutton his jeans and then slipped her hand inside his boxers. He was hard and ready and she freed him to her touch. “Close your eyes,” she whispered.
“No,” he said. “I can live with this fantasy.”
Nan seduced him slowly, each stroke bringing him closer and closer to ecstasy. She was determined to make the memory exactly how he’d felt it back then, new and baffling and intense. She wondered about the first time he was touched by a real woman. It was one of those stories that they’d yet to tell. She wanted to hear it someday. She wanted to hear it now.
Nan’s gaze skimmed over his naked chest and moved to his face. He was the most beautiful man she’d ever known, in body, in heart, in soul. His eyes were closed and his features relaxed. And for a moment, she became the selkie in his fantasy.
The longing for this human life, this experience they shared, was acute. She didn’t want to go back to the sea, she wanted to live here with him, to make a life away from everything she knew. The rules were certain. She’d have to surrender her life to him, to toss aside the skin of her old life for a different future.
Did she have the courage to do that? Nan had never made a rash decision in her life, at least not until she’d stepped off the plane at the airport. She had to go back to be sure. It was the only way to test her feelings, to see if they were real.
But would she face the same dilemma as the selkie, unable to return to him once she went back home? There was no magic here. They were living real lives with real feelings. She was in control of her own destiny.
His breathing quickened and he arched into her touch. Nan knew he was close. This was all she’d ever wanted, to please him. She could make a life doing just that and be perfectly happy. But would she always long for the life she left behind? Or could she live here, with him, in complete happiness?
As Riley dissolved into intense spasms, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation of his release. She’d been the one to give him his fantasy. He would remember her once she was gone.