CHAPTER 10

TEN WAYS BABIES AND BABY TARANTULAS COMPLICATE YOUR LIFE

1. As we have all just witnessed together, they do not follow directions from their big brothers.
2. Even though they have arms and legs (and a tarantula has many of them), they can’t use them for anything fun like playing catch or skateboarding.
3. They cause a lot of trouble and don’t laugh at any of your jokes.
4. They’re always the center of attention whenever there are a lot of people in the room, even though you’re there, too.
5. They can’t talk.
6. They don’t know one action figure from another.
7. They can’t make a snack for you when you’re watching TV and you don’t want to get up in the middle of the best part.
8. They can’t take a message when someone calls you on the phone and you’re in the tub.
9. They can’t change the radio station when the deejay is playing an annoying song.
10. So, I ask you, why have them around? Beats me.