As Papa Pete walked me home, I thought about everything that had happened on my party day. And if I give myself any more parties in the future, here are ten rules I made for myself.
HANK ZIPZER’S TEN RULES FOR SELF-PARTY GIVING
- Only invite two-legged creatures with nostrils. (Except for Cheerio, who is used to parties and has great party manners.)
- Eat your black-and-white birthday cookie first in case one of your guests decides to take a bath in a bowl of soup.
- Don’t forget to take your whoopee cushion party favor or you won’t be able to put it under the big butt of Nick McKelty.
- Make sure your balloon doesn’t say “Get Well Soon” because all the grown-ups want to check and make sure you don’t have a fever.
- Take at least one bite of your pepperoni pizza, and if a spider gets loose before you have time to finish it, make sure that you ask for a doggie bag. When you get home, remind the dog that doggie bags are for people.
- I was just starting to think up Number Six when we reached the front door of my building. Sorry that I didn’t get to ten. I would have, if the walk from Harvey’s to my apartment wasn’t so short.