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Lily sighed, the sound echoing through her own skull. She tried to pull herself from the dark, murky depths of where her consciousness rested.
“Lily?”
She opened her eyes to the harsh bright lights. Robyn looked into her eyes, her hand on Lily’s forehead. On her other side was Amanda, her head peering right next to Robyn’s.
“Her vitals are stabilized, and she’s awake. I’m going to stop the drip.” Amanda flipped the knob of the machine that was feeding a liquid into Lily’s veins.
Everything came rushing back. Lily tried to sit up, garbling her words around the tube in her throat.
“Don’t talk,” Robyn said. “Jason will have our heads for this.”
Jason? If he cared, where was he? Was he still upset with her?
Amanda seemed to read her thoughts. “He was here the entire time until I banned him. We wanted to wake you up, and he wouldn’t allow it. Nor will he allow us to let you go deeper to heal your split consciousness.”
Wake her up?
“It looks like she’s stable,” Amanda said to Robyn. “I’ll go check on the others and let myself into Jason’s.” Her lips had a small smirk.
“Jason’s suite is locked from the inside,” Robyn said to her. “We talked him into believing you were stable and heading to shower the blood from him. You were moaning in pain, so we used meds to numb you. Unfortunately, they stopped your breathing, so we had to intubate. I flipped his locks. He can enter, but he can’t get out until I ‘unjam’ the locks.” With her fingers, Robyn motioned air quotes. “It was the only way we could get him out of our hair. Now, I’m going to try to answer all of your questions. Or at least the questions I can anticipate. We’ll take you off the ventilator later, once we’re sure you’re breathing is stable. Your body was so weakened that unconscious reflexes controlled by your autonomic nervous system were not operable. Therefore, without the tube, you can’t breathe. As for everyone else, Shawn is stable but unconscious. I have no idea where you and Tempest got the idea, but somehow the shards of her bones melted, filling his wounds and then slowly dissolving as his flesh knitted. It was brilliant. We won’t even need to stitch him. Tempest is awake but still in an extreme state of pain. We need to put her under to get her bones to regenerate, but she refuses until Shawn wakes. We may have been able to talk Jason into getting her to go under, but he’s been another problem also.” She sighed. “He blames her for your fight. He was harsh—more so than he should have been. It was ugly.”
Lily widened her eyes. Jason blamed Tempest? The fight wasn’t her fault, it was Lily’s.
Robyn caught the movement. “What? Oh, God. You’re not trying to tell me it was you?”
Lily blinked excessively. She had to fix this. Tempest didn’t deserve this.
“I’ll take that as affirmative. No wonder Tempest refuses to go under. She’s probably afraid someone will slash her throat.” Robyn winced. “I don’t know what happened with you and her. But Jason’s going to believe you over anyone else.” She paused for a minute. “He loves you, Lily. He’s been worried sick.”
Lily signaled with her eyes again. He didn’t love her. He’d ignored her as best as he could while he focused on Tempest.
“He does,” Robyn insisted. “Lily, let me give you a briefing on where you stand medically. After Jason brought you back to Xenia and you were unconscious, it sped your mental maturation. Yet you’re only three quarters of the way there. You’ve been going back and forth. Sometimes you’re a teenager...and then you’ll flip into being a woman. It’s been a yoyo. You know this. But...we wanted to bring you into full maturity. Doing that will open your memory pathways of what you endured in the labs. Jason had originally agreed, but your nightmares during the beginning of the procedure were horrendous. He made us stop. We argued that it was best to get you through it, but he couldn’t bear to watch you suffer.” Robyn sighed. “Not even for himself. We all knew he loved you, Lily. As a human...trust me, Jason’s horrified. Horrified that he could love someone who was so recently a teenager. We have human reactions and feelings, even though we’re aware that as Xeno Sapiens, we need to adapt in dealing with your people in a different way. It just isn’t easy. So now we locked him up and will have to deal with his wrath for putting you under to full maturity. If that’s what you want, that is. Remember it’s a trade-off. Horrible memories for full maturity.”
Lily blinked rapidly. How could anyone want to be in limbo? For people to wonder which person she was, the teen or the woman? Bless Jason for being so protective, but she’d take the pain, no matter what it was. And she had a feeling it was going to get much worse than the pedophile she remembered.
“Deep breath,” Robyn instructed. “I’m going to count to ten. By the time I’m there, you’ll be under.”
* * * * *
JASON’S FRONT DOOR unlocked, announcing entry.
“Dr. Amanda Becker. Status: sibling.”
Jason came barreling from the back bedroom. “It’s about time,” he snapped. “What the hell’s wrong with the lock?”
Amanda shrugged, closing the door behind her. “Robyn said it was a glitch in the system but not a big deal. She’s fixed it.”
“Not a big deal? I’ve been trapped in her for an hour and a half.”
“To be fair, you just discovered it locked you in,” Amanda reasoned. “Some of that time you were showering.”
“In the meantime, Shawn lies near death, Tempest is suffering needlessly, and Lily—” his voice broke.
He found himself wrapped in his sister’s arms. “She’s going to be fine, Jace. The Xeno Sapiens are tough.”
“Not Lily. She’s the size of a peanut,” he snarled, and grew offended when Amanda covered a grin by pretending to cough.
“What?” she asked, feigning innocence as he glared. “Women are tough, no matter how small they are. She’s got two strengths right there, femininity and Xeno Sapien DNA.”
“Whatever. Let’s get to her before she wakes and is horrified by what she did when she was under her teenage persona.” He jerked on the doorknob.
It remained in place, frozen. Locked.
“What the fuck? Not again,” he groaned. “Why the hell did you close the door?”
“Who would expect it to jam again?” she said, unperturbed. “Let me just call Robyn. Oh, hell.”
“What now?”
“I left my communication watch on the counter before I left.” Her voice sounded faintly apologetic, and yet not. “I was in a hurry to get to you! You were impatient at being locked in.”
“Now I’m locked in again.” This time with his sister. Would this day never end?
“I’m ordering a team to get to Robyn and tell her it’s a priority to stop what she’s doing and get this damn lock undone. And to fix whatever computer glitch is doing it.”
“Patrick—” he snapped, as soon as his acting second in command answered.
“Wait.” The somber tone in Amanda’s voice made him pause. “Disconnect the communication. I have something to tell you.”
“Never mind,” Jason said into the comm, suspicious suddenly.
He turned to Amanda, eyes narrowed.
She raised her chin, looking every bit the cool, immaculate Dr. Becker. “Robyn and I locked your quarters purposely. We intend to bring Lily to maturation.”
“Are you fucking crazy?” He snarled, feeling slightly guilty when she flinched with his temper. “Let me out of here.”
“No. This is for Lily’s sake.”
“You’d be willing to make her suffer?”
“If she chooses it. Robyn will make sure to ask her.”
“She can’t make that decision! What if it’s her teenage self that emerges?”
“So? She’ll know what she wants, no matter if she’s sixteen or twenty six. If she chooses not to go ahead with it, Robyn will suspend the procedure.”
He clenched his fists, feeling helpless.
Her gaze softened. “It will be all right. I promise. She’ll be fine, and we’ll take you to her so you’ll be the first one there when she wakes.”
* * * * *
A STEADY HUM IN THE air grew louder.
Whrr. Whrrrrrr.
The noise was annoying to say the least. Lily tried to focus on something else, but what else was there?
There. A steady drip...drip...drip. Constant. Almost like a pattern.
“There you go,” a male voice said. “We are awake now. Success.”
“Congratulations, doctor.” The second voice spoke differently, heavier. The syllables rolled.
“Aquatic features are still negative. The DNA not strong enough to support those features in pulling them from hibernation.”
“So again, she’s useless.” The first voice was heavy with frustration.
“What will we do with her?”
“She’s too expensive to destroy,” the first one snapped. “We have nothing to lose by continuing to try to get her to reach her other side. Force those damn gills to exude and get rid of the lungs.”
“It was a good try. I honestly thought waking a handful before full maturity would give us a broader hand at experimentation.”
“It was an excellent idea, Harold,” the first voice agreed. “Trying to catch some before adulthood. We know in our species children are more able to adapt than adults. But in the case of the other DNA, I’m afraid it just isn’t so. Or it’s stubborn. I’m not sure which.”
“She has functioning ovum. Perhaps we should relegate her to the breeding rooms?”
“See if TJ-63 likes children?” The first voice laughed. “Eventually. But not right away. Let’s give it another couple of weeks of trying to force those lungs to inactivate. Other than that, I imagine a breeder is all she’ll be good for.”
There was a snapping sound as he peeled the black gloves from his hands, beady eyes peering at her over the rims of his safety goggles. She couldn’t see the rest of his face, the bottom part of him was covered by a mask that draped over his mouth and nose.
He moved away, talking with the others, their voices growing fainter as they headed toward the doors. There was a zip of an opening and then all sound was cut off as the door closed again.
But she wasn’t alone. The one called Harold now centered his face over hers. “Hello, my pretty. Such a soft, soft girl.” He hadn’t removed his gloves and the material ran down the length of her arm.
“Did you hear them call me brilliant? It was a superb idea. Figures it didn’t work, but it serves a dual purpose, pretty girl.” His face leaned into hers. Glassy blue eyes gleamed through the clear glass of the safety goggles. The edges of his paper mask were wet as though spittle flew from his mouth when he spoke. “You see, I have you awake. And like I’m suspecting is happening with the monstrosity that keeps refusing the females we send to him...I also like children,” he whispered. “You’re almost past that point, so we’ll have to make use of the time we’ve got.”
There was a rustling noise, and he crawled on top of her. “Mine. All mine.” Pain filled her as he forced her legs apart.
“Do you like it, too, pretty girl? I want you to call me...daddy. I’m gonna be your daddy.” His voice raised higher with excitement threading through it.
He rammed into her, tearing her body with his forceful invasion. She wanted to move, she wanted to rip that part of him off, to make him bleed, to make him...hurt. The frustration at being helpless was almost as overwhelming as the fire ripping through her body.
“Baby girl, I’m here.”
She thrashed, which was weird because she couldn’t move.
“She’s changing. Renegade, Steele, watch her claws.”
“There are no claws.” The female voice was puzzled.
“This isn’t the same form.” That was definitely Jason’s voice, and his confusion was real.
Lily opened her eyes. There were Xeno Sapiens in the room like her. Steele and Renegade on either side of her, Amanda and Robyn. Someone sat behind her bed, holding her head down, whispering into her ear.
“It’s okay, baby girl. We got you. You’re safe. It’s just a dream.”
A dream? No. It was a memory. It had happened, back in the lab. She remembered now. Her body felt different.
“It’s okay, Lily,” Steele answered her unspoken question, catching her eyes trying to look down at herself. “You morphed. But it’s different. It’s the modern version of your people. Not the predator.”
Yes, like had happened with Kaden.
As if to prove it, they released their hold on her wrists, and Jason helped her angle her head up so she could look down at herself. Her feet were gone, replaced by an iridescent fishtail. Her skin was thicker, but her hands were normal, just the nails longer and the webbing more pronounced.
She lay back, listening as Jason murmured into her ear. “I’ve got you. I’ll always be here, Lily. You’re safe.”
“Horrible memories,” she said. “I don’t want to go to sleep.” More memories had rolled through her mind, snippets like a movie, all crashing through at once.
“Lily,” Robyn said, stepping up. “Do you remember why we put you under?”
Everything came rushing back to her. “Yes. I gave you my permission. I wanted full maturity.”
Robyn nodded. “Yes. You’ll probably have some depression now in recalling those memories. But we can work through that. You’re free now and...”
“Welcome to adulthood, Lily.” Dr. Amanda smiled.
Her body began to shrink, softening into her usual look. The human form. She could actually feel her breathing deepen as lungs took a larger part in filtering the air she breathed. The four of them drifted quietly out of the room, leaving her with Jason.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “So sorry you had to remember all that. And I wasn’t here for you.”
Other memories were still hitting her, other dreams that she’d had. It was a grim existence before coming to Xenia. “How long have I been out?”
He winced. “It’s been three days.”
“As long as it’s done.”
“You’re done recalling the memories. But you may still have nightmares.”
“Those I can handle. They feel less real. The memories put you right back in the moment.”
“I can’t imagine what you went through.”
“I’m sorry. About Shawn and Tempest. I was so jealous, a moody, spiteful teen.”
“It’s fine. They’re both healed and doing great. I should have known better, keeping you in a state where you constantly flipped back and forth. It wasn’t fair.”
“You didn’t want me to suffer any more. I understand that. And it’s not like the teen personality wasn’t getting less time. I can see where you thought it would be better to just let me go through it naturally.”
“I love you, Lily,” he blurted out. “I always have. I always will.”
“How about untying me?”
He looked down with a start, and then jumped up to unbuckle the shackles at her wrists. Her bust. Her waist. One solid belt swung over her legs, which moved freely now that they were legs and not a tail. When she was free, she sat up and moved into his arms. His heady scent, right there, below her nose. “I love you, too. I always have. I always will.” She repeated his words.
He crawled onto the bed next to her, pulling her to him.
“I can’t believe I didn’t know you had a crush on me as a teenager.”
“Me, neither.” She smiled against his chest. “It’s not like I was subtle.” She remembered how she had seduced him.
“I thought I was crazy. Feeling these emotions, this need—“
“A lot of it caused by me. I’m sorry. I had no idea I was using the siren-thing on you. Well, except for the last time, when I did it on purpose.”
“I’m not protesting it then, and I’m not protesting it now.”
“What are you saying, Jason?”
“I love you. I want to spend every day with my green-haired girl. Now go to sleep and rest up.”
When her heart almost burst from her chest? She smiled, closing her eyes. “I love you, too,” she whispered.
* * * * *
SHE DIDN’T REMEMBER anything this time. No dreams, memories, not like before. And now when she opened her eyes, Jason was at her side, his head in his hands. He looked terrible, lines of fatigue around his eyes and mouth. But something flashed in his eyes when she woke.
“Lily?”
She smiled sleepily. “Jason.”
“How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay. How are Tempest and Shawn?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been here with you.”
She sat up. She had to fix things with Tempest. She had to fix it immediately.
“Take me to her.”
“This isn’t a good time.” His eyes were shifty. “She’s in a lot of pain.”
“I want to see her. Now,” she said clearly.
Jason never could refuse anything she wanted. She saw that so much easier now. She was completely adult, she realized. She would never again bounce into her younger self.
He scooped her up into his arms and strode from the room, walking down the hall. She saw a few people look up. Dr. Amanda came scurrying after them.
Renegade stood at the window, turning as they entered. Jason set her in the chair next to Tempest’s bed. Her face was stricken with pain, frozen into agony. How long had she been suffering?
Lily placed her hand onto Tempest’s. “You’ve suffered long enough, Tempest.”
Tempest opened her eyes, staring at Lily. But she was in so much pain, she couldn’t speak.
Let Amanda put you under. To her surprise, her mental link came easily. She was healed, she realized.
No. I deserve this.
No one deserves this.
I do. Shawn nearly died.
That was not your fault. It was mine.
It wasn’t yours. You were but a child. We all knew you flipped back and forth. I shouldn’t have let you goad me.
How can Shawn’s death have been your fault?
He was teaching me not to let my bones break my skin. I failed miserably.
And why do you let them pierce you? Lily had an idea, but she wanted Tempest to voice it.
I—I—
Because you feel you deserve pain, Lily said. You don’t. No one deserves pain any more.
Look at what I did!
It was an accident. When Shawn wakes up, he will be the one to tell you.
If he wakes up.
He will. He’s halfway healed now.
He is?
No one’s communicated with you?
I’m in too much pain to hear through the links. None of the humans know exactly what to say. I’m not even sure why I can hear yours.
Lily looked down at her hand, glowing on top of Tempest’s. Maybe it’s our connection. Maybe I’m healed. But Shawn will wake soon. Will you allow yourself to be put under so your body can attempt to heal?
Yes. But first, I want to say I’m sorry. I was attracted to Jason before your kidnapping. I’m not now.
How could you not be? Lily teased. Look at him.
The barest semblance of a smile came across Tempest’s face.
Lily stood, and leaned over to kiss her forehead. “I really am sorry,” she whispered, then looked up at Amanda.
“She’ll be medicated now.”
Amanda nodded, eyes wide, and turned to the computer screen where she pushed a series of buttons. The machine blipped and Tempest’s eyes closed, the lines of pain relaxing from her face.
“She’s under,” Amanda announced. “Now she’ll heal without being stressed from the pain. Good job, Lily.”
“Back to bed with you,” Jason announced, scooping her back up. She rested her head on the crook of his shoulder as he carried her back.
He laid her on the bed, tucking the blanket around her. “Robyn says they’ll let you out tomorrow. If your brain waves reach delta mode tonight during your sleep.”
“The pressure’s on.” She couldn’t help but be a bit worried.
“I’m looking forward to tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll be here before noon.”
His head leaned over hers, and his mouth came down to hers.
