Johnny walked into the bedroom and placed a cup of tea on the bedside locker. ‘Come on, up you come and drink your tea.’ He placed his hands under Mia’s arms and lifted his wife into a seated position. ‘You’ve had an evening and a morning in bed crying. Time to get up now.’
Johnny gathered up the mound of tissues on the floor beside Mia and threw them into the wastepaper basket. He opened the curtains.
Mia winced as sunlight flooded the room. ‘Stop, Johnny, it’s too bright.’
He opened the window. Fresh air flowed into the room. ‘Sunlight and fresh air are good for you. Drink your tea.’ He handed her the mug. It had ‘Number 1 Mum’ on it. Riley had given it to her for Mother’s Day when she was nine, still sweet and compliant.
Mia sipped the tea. ‘Sugar?’
‘I put some in to give you energy.’
‘Nice.’ Mia sipped again. Her head ached.
‘I know you want to pull the covers over your head and stay there, but it’s only going to make you feel worse. You need to get up and go to see Sarah. Talk to her. I know she looks awful, but hold her hand, talk to her, make your peace with her going and say what you want to say to her.’
‘I’m not allowed near her, remember?’ Mia said bitterly. ‘Adam was very clear on that last night.’
‘To hell with Adam. He can’t stop you seeing your own sister. Besides, I checked. Angela’s on duty this afternoon and Adam will be picking Izzy up from school, so you can slip in then. It’ll make you feel better to see her. It’ll help you get your head straight.’
Mia put down the mug of sweet tea. She reached up and pulled her husband close. ‘I love you, Johnny. You’re the best man there is.’
‘Even unemployed?’
‘Even unemployed.’ She kissed him on the lips. They held each other for a minute, each enjoying the closeness and comfort of the other’s arms.
Johnny pulled back first. ‘Much as I love you and enjoy your hugs, you need a long shower. I’ll make you something to eat and then drive you to the hospital.’
Mia smiled. ‘Thank you. Thank you for marrying me even though I can be short-tempered, bossy and a pain in the arse.’
Johnny grinned. ‘I like being bossed around and you aren’t a pain in the arse, you’re just very … uhm … decisive.’
Mia laughed. ‘How tactfully put.’
Angela came straight over to Mia when she spotted her putting on an apron and mask.
‘How are you doing, Mia? Yesterday was a very tough day. All the doctors were upset about the meeting and having to give such awful news.’
Mia sighed. ‘It was very grim. Adam didn’t take it well. He’s banned me and Dad from seeing Sarah.’
Angela glanced around and whispered, ‘He’s told us all to keep you away.’
Mia rubbed the disinfectant soap into her hands and looked into Angela’s eyes. ‘I need to see Sarah, even if it’s the last time.’
‘Of course you do. You slip in there now and I’ll keep an eye out. If I hear him coming, I’ll warn you. We don’t want a scene in ICU, but I know how much you love your sister, and sure how could I deny you or poor Charlie seeing her?’
‘Thanks, Angela, I really appreciate that.’
‘Go on in now and I’ll keep watch.’
Mia paused. ‘Does she … is she … worse?’
Angela nodded. ‘I’m so sorry, but yes. It’s happening faster all the time. We can’t prevent it, even with all the medication. You’ll find it hard to look at her.’
Mia pulled her mask up over her mouth and took a deep breath. She braced herself as she walked in.
Sarah looked truly horrific. Mia closed her eyes to block out the awful sight. Part of her wanted to run away, but then she remembered what Johnny had said: ‘Hold her hand and talk to her.’
Mia walked over to the bed. It was like another world in here. A separate universe where all the anger, angst and arguing were left behind. Here, she could talk to her sister in peace. Except for the whirring of the ventilator and the beep of the machines every now and then, it was like an oasis of calm away from the storm raging outside, with all of the people who loved Sarah fighting about her.
Mia sat down and took her sister’s hand. Avoiding looking at her bulging eyes and bloated face, she concentrated on Sarah’s hand. She took the lavender hand cream she’d brought with her out of her bag. She squirted a drop onto Sarah’s right hand and began to massage it into her sister’s dried-out fingers. The scent of lavender filled the room.
‘I miss you so much, Sarah. We all do. Things are a bit tricky, I’m afraid. Everyone’s so upset and emotions are running high. I know you’d hate to think we were fighting and arguing about you. We’re all heartbroken. We love you so much and each of us wants the best for you and the baby, but we don’t agree on what that is.’ Mia didn’t want to tell Sarah that her husband had gone crazy and was behaving like a total tyrant, treating her and Charlie like dirt.
‘You’ll be glad to know that Rob came over from Toronto to be with Adam. He hasn’t left his side. I’m so sorry things have turned out like this. I know how much you wanted a baby. We’re all just devastated. To be honest, Sarah, my head aches from trying to know what the right thing to do is. So, I’m going to give us both a break and just sit here and read you your diary.’
Mia flicked through the diary. ‘Let’s choose a happy memory. Oh, here, look! It’s your wedding day.’
‘I cannot believe I’m marrying the man of my dreams! I’m going to be Mrs Adam Brown. Mia thinks it’s silly to take your husband’s name. She still calls herself Mia Wilson, but I want to take Adam’s name. I want to be Mrs Brown. I can’t wait to be part of a married couple. I want to make Adam the happiest man ever and have lots of mini-Adams and mini-mes to look after. I think four kids would be perfect. Two boys and two girls. I want my daughter to have a sister. Sisters are the best. Mia always has my back. She’s always been there for me, looking out for me and helping me and, yes, bossing me around too. I don’t mind Mia’s bossing, though, because she does it out of love and concern.
‘I’m so happy I met Adam. He’s perfect. I know that he will protect me and keep me safe and love me for ever. He’s so good to me and he always makes me feel like the most gorgeous, precious thing in his life. I’ve never had a boyfriend who makes me feel this good about myself or so safe and loved and cherished. I feel like I could literally fly with Adam by my side.
‘I’m so happy I could burst. I almost feel weepy about how happy I am. I have the best parents, the best sister and, in a few hours, I’ll have the best husband in the world. I am one lucky girl.
‘Oh, and the best flower girl. Riley looks adorable in her little dress. She is such a cutie although I can see Mum and Mia’s personality in her. Riley knows what she likes and doesn’t like and she’s only seven! I reckon Mia will have her hands full when she’s a teenager.’
Mia snorted. ‘How right you were, Sarah. Riley is one big handful.’
‘Mum always says that Mia was far more challenging than me as a teenager. But she always smiled when she said it. Mum adores Mia and loves that she challenges her and argues with her and debates all kinds of subjects with her. I think I’m too boring and placid for Mum. Don’t get me wrong, Mum adores me, but she enjoys being with Mia more. I don’t really get het up about things like Mum and Mia do. I just want a quiet, easy life. I know that may sound selfish and you should really go out and march for causes and all that, but to be honest, and I can only admit this here, I just want to be at home with Adam, snuggled up on the couch.
‘I think Riley will be feisty like her mother and grandmother. Mum’s going to get such a kick out of Riley when she gets older and more opinionated. It’ll be fun to watch.’
Mia gulped back tears. ‘I wish Mum had known Riley for longer. They got on so well. “Peas in a pod,” Dad used to say. I wish Mum was here now to help me connect better with Riley. I need her, but even more, I need you, Sarah. You always told me to be more patient, to give Riley a break, and you were so good at getting me to take a step back and not react so quickly. I miss your advice. I miss you and your positivity and calmness and loveliness and … all of you.’
‘I wonder what my children will be like. Will they be go-getters like Adam? Will they be sporty or smart or arty or all three? It doesn’t matter to me, as long as they’re healthy and happy. When I look back now, I feel so grateful to have had such a happy childhood. I didn’t appreciate it at the time but now, when I see what can happen to kids, I know how lucky I was to have Mum and Dad and Mia. I just hope I don’t only have one child. I can’t say that to Mia. I know how much she wanted another child and how upset she was when they found out they couldn’t. My heart broke for both of them. Johnny was so crushed and he kept looking at Mia when they told us and you could see he was so devastated that he couldn’t give her this important gift – another child. He loves her so much and, you know, she loves him just as much. She was amazing: she never made him feel like it was a problem. She said Riley was enough and she never looked back. Except sometimes, when she was alone with me and had had a few glasses of wine, her bravery would slip and she’d cry about it. I felt so bad for her. What can you say to someone who wants something they just can’t have? It makes your heart sore.
‘I loved having an older sister. I think having a sibling is so wonderful, I want that for my kids. I want them to have the bond that a sibling gives you and to know, whatever happens, that that person will always be there for you.’
Mia had to put the diary down and wipe her eyes. ‘Oh, Sarah. I wanted Izzy to have a brother, and we tried to save him, but they said there’s no hope. I’m so sorry. I prayed so hard – we all did. I promise you I’ll keep an eye on Izzy, and Riley will be like an older sister to her. Actually, Sarah, you’d be so happy if you saw how sweet Riley is being with Izzy. It’s made me so proud of her. She’s taking Izzy under her wing. I guess it’s a bit like I did with you. Five years between us and seven between them. They can be each other’s sibling.’
‘I’m looking at my wedding dress hanging up on the door of the wardrobe. It’s so beautiful. Mia’s sleeping soundly in the bed beside me. She is such a deep sleeper. I want to wake her up and chat, but I’ll let her sleep for another twenty minutes. She’s exhausted from working and then Riley got an ear infection and didn’t sleep for four nights. Poor Mia is worn out. OK, I’ll let her sleep for a bit longer, but then I will wake her because I’m too excited to sit here alone. I think half past eight is a reasonable time to wake her up. I’ll order a big breakfast in bed. I can’t eat a thing, I’m too nervous, but Mia will enjoy it and we can chat while she’s eating and maybe a cup of herbal tea will calm my nerves. Although they aren’t really nerves, just excitement. Excitement about this being the best day of my life when I get to marry my true love and start on a new adventure with him by my side. I am truly the happiest girl alive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’
Mia closed the diary. She held her sister’s hand between hers. ‘Adam’s upsetting me so much,’ she said quietly, ‘but you’ve reminded me how important he is to you. You really adored that man, and I know you’re the most important thing in the world to him. Things aren’t great at the moment, but I promise I’ll talk to Adam and sort things out. I’ll do it for you and Izzy.’