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HER SISTER’S COPPERY red-blond hair shown in the sun when Pan climbed out of Levi’s truck. Perci stayed where she was, keeping the swing in slow rhythm. Ivy had missed her last night. The toddler hadn’t wanted to let go of Perci once she’d walked in the door. Perci had barely been able to change out of her borrowed clothes.
Now Ivy snuggled close and slept the limp sleep of the innocent.
Pan paused just on the first step. “Well. You’re still here. Did the devil give you pomegranates or something?”
“Something like that.” The original myth said Hades had fed Persephone fruit to trick her into staying with him. Perci was starting to suspect it had been something much more binding than fruit. Her arms tightened around the child. She suspected the devil had given that long ago namesake heat...and love.
That was the reason the original Persephone had stayed.
Even if it was just in a myth.
Now that Pan was back it was almost time to turn Ivy over.
If Pan and Levi were willing.
A child was a huge responsibility.
It wasn’t quite fair of them to ask Pan to take responsibility for another child when her sister had spent the last two years worrying about finding the money to feed three others.
But that was just another excuse.
Perci didn’t want to let Ivy go just yet. Even to her own sister.
“Let me see her. Phoebe emailed me and said she’s absolutely adorable, Mama Perci.” There was a look in Pan’s eyes that had Perci mentally squirming. They’d talk later, she had no doubt about it.
Perci had some questions of her own. Was Pan prepared to take on responsibility for Ivy right now? Pan had just gotten married, just experienced a horrible ordeal, and was only twenty-two—though Pan would be twenty-three soon—and a child was a big commitment. A lifetime one.
But if not Pan, then what would happen to Ivy? Joel and Phoebe, perhaps? Phoebe would make an excellent mother.
As would Pip. Her twin would be a mother in a little less than seven months. Was it fair to ask Pip to take on a traumatized almost three-year-old, as well?
She wished. But there was no way Perci would ever get approved as a placement for Ivy. It was going to have to be Pan or Phoebe. She’d just become Ivy’s favorite aunt, or something. She’d be there to help whichever sister became Ivy’s mother, however she could.
It would work out the way it was supposed to. She had to have faith in that.
But the thought of not being with Ivy every single day, of not making sure she was safe and healthy and loved—even though the rational part of her knew her sister would do just fine—hurt her.
Pan and Levi carried their luggage inside. Perci continued to rock the porch swing gently.
Until a big shadow passed in front of her. She paused.
Nate settled himself on the swing next to her. “Coming inside soon? I don’t want you to get cold out here.”
“We’re fine.” She was going to hold Ivy as long as she could. Stupid of her, maybe, but Perci knew the time would come when she’d have to stop being Mama Perci and let someone else be Ivy’s mother for real. The little girl deserved it.
But that didn’t make Perci feel any better equipped to let the child go. Just not yet.
She wasn’t supposed to fall for the child as quickly as she had. It was always supposed to be temporary.
Just like falling for Nate hadn’t been in the plan, either.
But she could no longer deny the devil. He had become her world just as fast as Ivy had.
“Are you?” His arm slipped around her shoulder and he scooted her closer. Perci let her head rest against his broad chest. He smelled perfect, all man and spice and outside.
It was so much nicer when they weren’t fighting against each other so badly. “I honestly don’t know.”
“Because of last night?”
She smiled. So the Great Nate had his doubts? She never would have guessed it. “No. Not because of last night. Because of Ivy. Is it fair to ask Pan to take on a traumatized toddler? She’s already had to do so much for our family. She gave up her dreams of going away to college for the rest of us. Now, I don’t know that asking her to take on a child is right. Shouldn’t she just be free to enjoy Levi for a little while without all the worry that goes with a kid?”
“Maybe. But things rarely happen in a fair way. We both know that.” He reached over her with his free hand and adjusted the blanket covering Ivy’s shoulder. His touch lingered on the little girl’s mussed blond hair. Perci loved watching the two of them together. “We have to think about what’s best for Ivy.”
“And if Pan and Levi don’t take her, chances are good she’ll be sent someplace else in the state.” And they would never see her again. Perci knew it in her gut. “And she’ll just be gone. Like she was never here.”
“Yes.”
“I...”
“I’ll speak to my brothers. Levi first, since she’s already here with him, technically. If he and Pan can’t, I have two more brothers, and you have two more sisters. They’ll all make damned good parents; we’ll make sure we don’t lose her, honey. I can promise you that. Hopefully between my brothers and my mother, we have enough pull in the community to finally do some good. I won’t give up.”
Perci closed her eyes. In that moment, she believed him.
Trusted him to do just that.
They rocked until she drifted off to sleep with him holding her and her holding Ivy. Just like that was exactly where they all belonged.